At the end of last year,I promised myself not to bring or create problems that will effect my studies.But,it is just early of the year and there are a lot of problems in my life.I do realise that there are other people out there,living in a hard and harsh life.I never be ungrateful of what I have now but there is one thing that I really want...Happiness.

Happiness means a lot to me.I might look happy but how about inside?Every single day,witnessing people living in happiness where their family members are having fun together.I was unable to experience it since problems keep on entering my life and it prevent me from real happiness in life.I thought of one way to make me feel happiness and that is change the hot-tempered,shy,quiet,dorky me.I tried to keep all my sadness behind the 'new' me. Being the 'new' me is where I forget all of my problems and just live life.What more with people all around you look down on you and think you're useless...I let down everybody.I let down my family.I let down my friends.I let down my teachers.I let down my school.They were expecting something from me and I gave them nothing.

I know that I shouldn't hide my sadness with the 'new' me but that is the only way for me to not look weak infront of others and experience happiness evnthough it might be a lie.I really hope that people around me don't hate me because of the óld' and 'new' me changing now and then.Suffering alone is better for me.I do not want others to suffer with me.I guess this is life.My life.