Apology

This is for everyone who commented on my previous blog. I'm sorry I disappointed. I'm going to post my responses to all of you here. Even though I posted on your wall, I think you should read them all to know just how I'm feeling.

I think if you don't want to read all of that, the gist of things is: I came across as whiny and too concerned about subscribers. That's not the case. I love writing, and it's something I do. I love it and will always be doing it. I just had an extremely off day yesterday and thought updating would help because comments make me smile. But when you're already feeling down, and you're constantly losing subscribers (believe me I've lost a lot more than just four) and there's no comments, it kind of doesn't it? 

I value feedback. I take time to read and comment spazz on all the stories I'm subscribed to. I believe that if an author writes and posts, then they would want to hear from us. I understand busy readers, but I guess I was overwhelmed. I'm super busy. But because there are people who want to read my story, I take time to write. I take a lot of time to write, so much it's almost like I'm wasting my time writing rather than studying. I just took my SATs and didn't do as well as I'd liked. Maybe had I studied harder... But that's not the point.

The point is I disappointed a lot of you and I want to apologize. I promise losing subscribers never bothered me as much as it does now. I had a legit bad day and that just happened to be the last straw. To all my readers, I really love you guys. To my unnis and oppas and dongsaengs, thank you for your support always. ♥

heybabylovecrash: I guess the one thing I couldn't convey was that it wasn't just these two. Oh no, I've been it up for a long time, and normally it doesn't bother me. But when I don't get feedback after awhile, it's not just loss of encouragement, it's a severe loss of self confidence. I'm a perfectionist. When I dont get feedback, I freak out. I see it as oh shoot I'm failing. And that's not a great mentality but that's how it is. 

One thing I need to clear up is: I do write for me. I just don't post for me. You know what I mean? I will keep writing, but I don't know if I'll keep posting. That's what I meant.
I'm sorry you were bothered, but maybe last night was just a bad night. Or maybe it was me realizing how much time I spent on AFF and getting scared. Either way, I can't leave if I have you guys scolding me like this. And you're right. I came across as quitting. I didn't intend for it to be that way, but I aplogize.
And I love you too

 

kaicho:I think you're amazing, and I want to thank you. I think I came across as whiny and too concerned about subscribers. But that wasn't my main problem. It was a big build up of frustrations. I honestly appreciate your making an account for my sake and for you I will stay. But I need time because junior year is hard. I think my main problem was that I gave up study time to update and got no feedback. Please read my new blog for more. 

 

sweetybear19: Of all the people, you actually got what I meant. My mentality is not concerned over unsubscribers, it was more of not getting feedback. It was more focused on being unable to know how I'm doing. I will always keep writing. That I won't stop. I just wanted to know for sure if people still WANTED to read. 

 

13elievein15ELF: Thank you.

But my problem was not 100% on unsubscribers. I think I came across wrong. But it was about working hard to write and then losing feedback. I value comments, that's why I comment spazz on stories I read. But thank you for your encouraging words.
 
 
allrisefishy: Aha, I've made you mad and you have every right to be. I think you should read my new blog post, maybe that will help. I'm not giving up. I'm still writing. I'm just tired of posting and not getting feedback. I've lost way more subscribers before, this is nothing new. But I think the point you missed was that it was a bad day. I had a bad day and that made it worse. You know you're having a bad day when you hate Hyuk. But I want to say, I love you and thank you for your support still. Please don't be upset any longer. I will stay. 
 
 
yeojaboy: Oppa saranghaeyeo~
Thank you for your comments, they make my day. Thank you so much. I guess you can read my new blog post so you can understand better. I'm glad you're not mad at me though. 
 
golferox: LMAO
your comment actually AHAHAHAHA.
I was just having a severe bad day. You know it's bad when I hate on Hyuk. But thank you so much. I will stay and write. Because dongsaengie loves you~
 
 
So in conclusion:
I still want to apologize to everyone I disappointed. I don't normally throw tantrums like this, but really bad day. Honest. I still love writing, still love Hyuk and still love you guys. ♥
How can I leave when I get this crazy scolding/advice/feedback?
 
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_pxtrichor #1
Hey come on its true that there aren't a lot of people that love Eunhyuk enough to write a lot of fics about him (hey Im an Eunhyuk bias myself but none of my stories ever have the same main male lead lol! I dont write about my biases that much in the first place..) and youre one of the rare ones that have Eunhyuk written all over and I honestly love that~ Although I dont read a lot of your fics but I think youre a really cool and awesome writer,unnie ^^
Saranghae! And I think I know how you feel about the feedback thing too. If you suddenly see one bunch of AFF story comment spams and you see my name multiple times from now on dont be surprised! XDDD

*waves banner of you with a eunhyuk picture at the side* UNNIE FIGHTING<3
Chocoberries #2
You said: You write stories for yourself and for those people who want to read them.

KEEP IT THAT WAY.

I'm not mad, I'm just upset. If you think you've lost subscribers way more than mine, check again. I wrote and deleted a lot of stories, because my stories lost subscribers thanks to those readers to bash you just for the heck of it.

Some of their comments goes like this:

"You're story doesn't have a proper setting of plot"

"EUNHYUK AGAIN?!"

and more comments that are written with curses and insults that I don't write good stories and that I'm a dumb teenager who has nothing to do but write fanfics when I can't even speak English.

(The last part pissed me off actually. Obviously (not that I'm bragging or anything) because I'm the top student in my English class and the way I type this and my stories are my proof that I can speak English well and better than the other writers here)

Don't let the bad day get to you. Try it my way, even if my day doesn't go the way I want it to. I smile and laugh it off and say: "What the hell~ there's still tomorrow and tomorrow's gonna be better than yesterday and today"


I think I sound a lot older than you here so Imma switch to my DONGSAENGIE mode.


EONNIE FIGHTING!! ^^ I LOVE YOU AND DON'T GIVE UP!

one last thing: I do write stories without a proper plot. Why?. I just go with the flow of the story and add up whatever that pops in my mind. And it works for me.
MorningDeer0420 #3
Yay!!!! No matter what,I still love your story so keep it up ^^ I'm always rooting for you^^
ariana #4
:') i love you~ <3
yukeez #5
I once acted like that on a bad day too. Well, cheer up(: those who understands wont leave you, those who can't, well, just it go then >.< hwaiting! ^^
kaicho #6
saranghae dongsaeeeeng! *hugs*
after I read this blog, I feel guilty for actually demanding you to stay. I don't want you to sacrifice your study time and homework just to update us especially if somehow lately it seems like us, your readers, take it for granted. Please take your time in updating, personally I will be happy if you are happy. Study hard, but also remember to play hard!
Please take some purplekpop's day, do ANYTHING you want to do (i mean it's your day ^^) usually it works for me when I have a hard day...and I feel you on THAT bad day. it must be a miserable day when Eunhyuk abs pissed you off :D
just remember we are here for you and we'll be a better readers for you! big hug dongsaeng you're precious!
-quack #7
Unnie Saranghaeyo~ I will forever be your friend and subscriber~
ifallelsefails #8
lol, trust me, i tend to get a lot more whiny than you did. I even thought of deleting my account for God knows how many times, haha!

I tend to feel this way too, all writers did. Let me tell you something. Remember No Other? I wrote that fic in the midst of writing Checkmate 1. During the first five or six chaps of the fic, I got a maximum of 4 comments per chap with almost the same persons leaving feedbacks when I had 50+ subscribers then. I thought of putting the fic on hiatus, or more over, dumping it. I thought it wouldn't go as successful as Neorago 1 and Checkmate was doing a lot better. But yeah, because of the few comments and readers who still supported me and I knew I could still have more to offer, I continued it, and guess what? It's one of my most successful fics since I began writing! You know how precious Neorago Series to me, right? kkk

So yeah, don't lose hope with people who don't know how to appreciate your hardwork. Just continue showing them what you're made of and what you can do, your loyal readers will always wait and support you ^^
brattygurl #9
Everyone has a bad day now and again, but as you write on "public" blog/website you better be prepared for the backlash. Whatever you write - positive/negative - you will always have supporters and naysayers so don't take any comment too close to heart.

I'm sure it's disappointing to lose subscribers but some of those people are probably just as busy as you and maybe even more busy so they stopped subscribing not because they don't like your story but because they don't have time to read fanfics anymore.

You have supporters, me included, so focus on those that are staying with you, not on those that are leaving.
kyuri91 #10
hwaiting dear! :)
remember we will always support you~ ^^
hellokpop #11
<333 i understand the feeling, but hwaiting !!~
yeojaboy #12
i remember before, you told me to keep writing eunhyuk fics cause there's only a few eunhyuk writers. it made me think hey, i really should be doing this for me and also for my readers and other potential readers. eunhyuk fics should be abundant in aff! and now, you, an eunhyuk writer, will leave aff? i don't think so :P

don't worry! it's just a phase in life. when you become used to it. it'll be just writing which is important to you. and you'll never notice how big you can become just because you stayed and practiced writing as your passion.

i've been worse, actually. lol. i used to leave aff because of a stupid relationship. it was even in my blog! lol i think it's still there. anyway, it really made me stop writing. no inspiration and all. but i opened my profile again and saw those quiet readers react to my blog and said that i shouldn't leave and blablabla. it made me realize that there are still readers of mine that support me. with a long hiatus, i actually lost subscribers. but i still managed to get back here since my friends' messages here are very touching.

well, that's my story. keke ^^ i hope you could get something to learn from it. and stay strong! aja! fighting! :D
yeojaboy #13
@question
easy! just don't leave! ^^
predictator #14
You're cute ^^ I approve of this post! Keep writing~ you're a lovely writer ^^
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