So like my deepest apologies to everyone who actually have to read this bloody LONG post. == I am WAY TOO IRRITATED.

I would just like to rant about two things that have really got on my nerves. Rarely do I get so pissed off, probably it's just that my life has started to get hectic, and the lack of time to take a breather makes me feel all the more stressed up and my emotions all pent up inside of me.

1) STOP THE NONSENSE ABOUT 'NO FUTURE'

All right. I understand when my relatives and those closest to me are genuinely concerned about my welfare, but honestly, JUST SHUT IT. For all my friends here on AFF who do not know what I'm planning to take when I start school in early April, I'd be taking a course known as Digital Animation. Just google Singapore Polytechnic Digital Animation and you'd most likely see all the details of it. Many of my relatives, who have come to know of my decision, said these few words, right in my face,

"Oh... You are pursuing IT? No future leh."

Once and for all, in my perception, a 'future' is NOT one you can already see before you even start anything. How can you call that a future when it is already right within grabs? Future should be something that is a mystery, something that you have to work hard and pave a way out towards, not one that you already know what is going to happen to you. Secondly, I don't bloody care if there is a 'future' or not! Life is not about riches, fame and the like, it is living the way you WANT it and being true to yourself. There's no point blindly following everyone else in their 'ideal' and become doctors and lawyers and whatever. I'm not saying being a 'doctor' and the prestigious jobs are BAD. I'm just saying you should be the one to make the decisions for yourself.

One of my cousins is pursuing Biomedical Science. I was actually happy for her, until I learnt that she was actually 'forced' mentally to choose that course. Her parents are rather rich and well-off, and they always seem to be controlling the details in her life. I couldn't say anything to her just yet, since well, her parents are there and I can't just badmouth them right in front of her and them. But honestly, just think about it, you don't hug your money to your grave. You hug your memories to your grave.

Your memories determine who you are. It is your memories that make you special. You don't have to care about what others want of you, as long as you know what you want of yourself.

I'm just so sick of it. Everywhere I go people keep telling me the same old things. I know they are just being concerned, but I would like to have the chance to try out what I want of my life. Nobody supports me when I tell them I want to be a mangaka. Not even my parents. So be it. I know mangaka probably doesn't earn much money and I probably can't make it to Japan, but is it that bad to have a dream? Is it that bad to have something you want to fight for? Is it that bad to have a secret wish?

2) STOP ALL THE BULLS*** ABOUT HOW A FAN SHOULD BE

This is just ridiculous. Recently, I met this crazy girl who just won't leave me alone. I don't know what kind of grudge she has against me, but this is way off.

My story with her go way back, I think. I met her about last week. A post about what she did can be found at my blog @ Timeless Eden @ blogspot.com

So well, I thought I had survived her first wave of senseless insults. I didn't even reply her or say anything back at her, mind you. And I think her deluded brain is causing her to think that she is winning over me and that I'm silently accepting every insult and allegation she has thrown at my face. Just yesterday, this is what she said to me.

Apparently she read my profile.

So yeah, I love SHINee and FT Island.

This is what she said : (I've corrected her grammatical errors and punctuation and stuff just because they bug me. And she typed LiKe ThIs.) 

"You are just one of those girls who like Kpop, huh. I can't understand people like you. What's there to scream about over those guys? I just can't understand it. You guys are seriously overreacting. You don't even get anything in return when you scream your heads off. Those people are just going to leech money off of you as you buy their merchandise. And oh, I see that you like SHINee and FT Island. Why are they even called 'SHINee'? This name itself is ridiculous. It seems there was a reason for FT Island, but come on, Five Treasures? They've got to be more creative than that.

And oh, you call yourself a fan. But you posted saying you never actually listened to all their songs. You call yourself a fan like this?"

Well that was pretty much the part targeted at Kpop and my 'fangirlism'. The rest was just another bunch of senseless insults of me and my TERRIBLE WRITING SKILLS.

I don't want to say these to her, but it's getting on my nerves. I am still not replying to her, because there' no point. She just wants to start an argument with me. She wants to get me into a conflict. I won't be stupid enough to waste my time on her. She can throw me all the insults she wants, and yeah, I'd be pissed off, like everyone else will when someone MALIGNS them of something they didn't do. But probably I'd be the last one with the laugh.

So yeah, why CAN'T we like Kpop? Is there a law forbidding people from liking something? Why can't we get attracted to guys? Why can't we open up a new market for them? Is it so bad giving them a boost by buying their merchandise when they are actually hitting the markets as singers? In fact, I think you are the one who is screwed up.

And yeah, I admit it. I haven't listened to ALL of SHINee's and FT Island's songs. 'Cuz you know what? There are too many of them. I try my best to give each song a try, but come on, how many songs are there in total? Plus with piracy and all those crap getting attention on the net, do you think it would be that EASY to locate each and every song they have ever published? Shouldn't it be enough if I appreciate their music and I like them as people- that I can be counted as a fangirl? Why must I be so over the top and know EVERY LITTLE THING?

I don't get it! Sure, it probably makes me look like I'm not THAT serious about them, but that's just me. I am still a little level-headed and logical when I go about doing things. So perhaps I should get myself ALL CHANGED JUST SO I CAN BE COUNTED AS A 'TRUE' FANGIRL?

Urgh. That's enough. I don't want to think about it and I need time to let this steam off my chest. ==