Stressed, physically, mentally, emotionally and whatever aspect there is. There are two causes of my immediate increase of my stress level, school, money and 'love life'.

In academics, my only problems are Psychology and History, because I think I'll only get a seventy-something in those subjects, even though we have 60 as the passing score. We had a 20-item test in Psych earlier. I studied for it, but when it was the time of the test, BLANK. I only answered less than half or maybe half of the questions. I'm only even sure with 5 answers! I don't want to fail a minor subject.

Another issue I have in school is NSTP. I missed orientation just to be with my mom when she was here in the country (because she works abroad). As punishment, I have to attend this make up activity, which is like a mini-exposure TOMORROW, FEBRUARY 25, 2012, the same day as the SS3 DVD LAUNCH HERE IN THE PHILIPPINES. I asked my friend to buy me one and get my freebies too. If she can't get my freebies, then I'll have to go to to SM North, but I really hope she would my freebies since she said that there are two of us who asked her to buy for us. I haven't told my dad about it because he might get mad. If ever I have to go to SM North, I'll lie and say that my friend invited me to go to SM North. I don't lie to my dad, but I have to. It's Super Junior. T.T I'm doing this because NSTP is a big er. PLus, have I mentioned how useless our NSTP teacher is? She arrived at our classroom last week, 50 minutes late. We only stayed because the room was airconditioned, but if it wasn't, we could have left. That was a call for a free cut. Then the people in our NSTP department are scary. Even scarier than some of our teachers. T.T

Another one, our course's org, CommSoc, had a TBS. During our assembly on the second sem, we were given papers to check, whether we would go to our course's TBS, Team Building Seminar. At first, they said it was optional, but they made it into a requirement. Now, all those who said no, must donate any of what they have listed, while those who have said yes, will pay. It's just unfair how something optional turned out something to be required. Honestly, all of most of the events in our school is FORCED or in their terms, "REQUIRED", or you'll have to face the sanctions. to be us. So, don't be in our college, if you're planning to. It's just bad. DON'T.

Anyway, my next issue is money. I bring lunch and snacks to school. I'm also on private transportation for most of the week. My allowance is only 500 php, or around $10-11 US a week.  One may think that it's already too much for someone like me, but no. There are times when I feel like it's short. There are many things to pay, and it doesn't mean that I bring food, I don't buy. There are things that I also buy, like Milk Tea! I don't buy at the ones in school. I usually go out of school then to Serenitea, just to buy a milk tea, which is probably one of the most expensive milk teas out there. :p Also, remember when I said I go to the gym? You see, my trainer was just helping me. I really didn't avail to him. Then he told me that I need to pay, even the downpayment. I've already told my family about my intention to have a trainer, but they refused. The trainer offered me a discount and I agreed. I will use the money from my own allowance. That is why things will be harder for me. My dad even sometimes borrow from us, that is why we don't tell him the exact amount of our money because he will either borrow or not give us money. Recently, he was giving my sister a thousand, but he said he doesn't have a 500, the change. I suddenly said i have one, and I saw that he was somehow angry. T.T It's my money anyway. That is why I haven't tell him about the DVD launch. He might get mad, but this is my money. This is the money, I saved and protected and hid away from you.

Lastly, this so called imaginary love life of mine. Imaginary because I feel like the guy i like, the one from my last blog post, is avoiding me. I think he doesn't like me back. It hurts, really. I really like him as in. But i feel like giving up already. I have seen people dropped hints already that some guys from the gym like me, but I don't actually give much attention because the only one that matters the most is from him. All opinions will not matter, once he had given his, for his is the most important right now. To others, one may look beautiful, but if that person looks unpleasing to the person he/she likes, then you forget what everyone else say and only think about the comment the person you like said. I just want to stop liking him because it that I always wait for him to arrive and I get nothing. That is why, I think I'm going back to locking up myself with my imaginary husband and boyfriends.

Just something, I talked with Trisha unni (chocolate in AFF), last Monday and she told me about how locked up I am in my imaginary world of Kpop. I'm still at the phase where I cry because of a love scandal or relationship guess about my 'husband'. I tried living into the 'reality', but it still didnt do me good. I don't know what to do. I just want to cry and talk with someone.

Who has viber here? Do you want to talk with me? :> I just need someone to talk with. T.T I feel like crying and I'm having a breakdown, and if you've read my posts about me being like this, I'm not really good at handling my emotions, especially being sad, depressed or in any other negative emotion. All i can do is cry.

Sorry I wasted your time.