I would like to tell a story of two people, of different nationalities, of different ages, of different beliefs, of different cultures and of so much more. She was a Filipina and he was Korean. She was 17 and he was 22 when they first met each other. She was dreaming of love, like of those in the tv shows she watches, like of those Korean dramas she adored. She had an ideal guy, just like her biases in Kpop groups, just like those leading men in Korean dramas. He came to the Philippines, just a few months after serving in the army. His goal was just to study English for 6 months. But he fell in love with the Philippines and had thought whether to continue his studies or go home. He was granted a few months extension of staying here.  During that time, he had met her. He began going to the gym to maintain his figure and she had began going to the gym because she wanted to lose weight. The moment she had saw him, it was crush at first sight.

She likes him, like a high school girl does. She would ask help to get to know him. It was just a simple crush, she thought. Nothing more than friends, she had hoped. But love and cupid loves to make things more exciting for her. Thinking she was just the only one who got hit, it seems that he was also hit. She never expected it, the casual conversations he started that gave her blushes and when he asked her out the first time.

They had a simple dinner and she cherished it. He enjoyed her personality. She was the talkative, bubbly, sociable and happy-go-lucky Filipina girl. He was the quiet, shy and appealing Korean boy. She loves Kpop but doesn’t tell him. He listens to some but not that much. He guessed her favorite, but she’d rather not talk about it when they’re together. That night after the date, they both couldn’t sleep.

He was everything she had ever wanted in a guy and more. She was more than what the he could look for in a girl. He was like a sweet icing on a cake. She was like a sun after a cloudy day.

Alas, it was short lived. He was bound to return to Korea. His mother had wanted him back. He never told her. He broke things off and she was devastated. She was having problems with her family then and him leaving her added gasoline to the flames.

He didn’t leave. His parents had allowed him to stay. It was already too late for him to go back to her. He got himself someone new and she found out. All she could do then was cry. It took her a long while before she was able to stand up with her held high and say she’s over him. Just when she thought she was, she saw him. It was one rainy day in September when they had accidentally saw each other. They were walking just a few feet away from each other. That night, she had cried.

It was also in September when she received a text from her gym trainer. He was looking for her. She doesn’t know what to respond and said okay. He was afraid.

More months after, she began going back to that place where they first met. There, she had met two of his friends. They were curious to who was the “beautiful Filipina girl he once dated”. Although flattered, the words “he once dated” made a more impact on her. Being the sociable her, she would initiate conversations with them. Soon, one of those guys had liked her.

She wasn’t interested. He was hurt.

She wasn’t into getting into a relationship. She also only sees the guy as a friend. He let his friend like her and make moves on her. He thought they’d be together. Instead of her getting into a relationship, he was the one who had one.

Months more, it has been more than a year has passed since they met. It was over a year when they had their first date. It has been so long since he left her. Yet, she still thinks of him.

Love is cruel. Love is tricky. Love will come knocking when you least expected it.

In the summer of 2013, they had ran into each other again. She sat with her sister and her sister’s friends, a table across where he and his girlfriend sat. While she got her order of milktea, he left. He passed her by and she realized, she never completely moved on. She thought it was a mistake when he messaged her on facebook one weekend. He wasn’t mistaken. A simple conversation but she still thought of the pain. In the end, she gave him her number and parted with, “If we are meant to be, we would see each other again soon.”

As if fate was playing on them, they run into each other again days later. She was with her sister and he was with his girlfriend and their friends. He made his friend leave with his girlfriend and other friend, so he could have a chat with her. She told him how hurt she was. He told his side. He was set to fly back to Korea but had managed to convince his parents to stay and study. He was also afraid that they’re age difference was an issue. It never was to anyone except him, apparently. He wanted to take her back, but he was afraid. He knows it was already too late. He thought she and his friend would be together. She wanted to say that it was still him for her all this time. He asked her out and she agreed with conditions.

He was still committed to another Filipina girl. She doesn’t want to be the third party. He broke with that girl just to be with her. Knowing she would be doubtful, he brought his friend and his friend’s girlfriend, who also happened to be the sister of his previous girlfriend. They told her, they were surprised as to why they have to do this for that one girl for him. She knew at that time, he was determined to get her back.

It’s always sweeter the second time around, they say. She didn’t regret it. He was the reason of the fast pulse that runs through her body, the one that fuels her hypothalamus gland, the thought that keeps her awake at night and the Korean boy she loves the most, even more than Kim Heechul. She was the faith that he wanted, the youth he never thought he’d have and the first Filipina he had love.

Marriage and the future was a common talk for couples. They, too, had talked about it. She never gave great thought that it would come true. But as time went by, she started to believe it was possible. When they planned for her to be introduced to his parents and when they thought about how to tell her parents they got back together, she was beginning to think it was possible. They had talk about their jobs but still haven’t chosen whether to live in the Philippines, Korea, Singapore or Canada. One thing’s for sure though, he doesn’t want Singapore. The most likely choices were either Korea or Canada.

She was always the one who gives more. Not because he lacks too, but she just does. She would text or message him more often that he does. She would be the one would say I love you or I miss you more. She was the one who gave him 24 letters of why she loves him on his 24^th birthday, along with an oreo cheesecake. She was filled with romantic ideas. He was not. He would take her out on dates, paying for everything. She would feel guilty at times because he would spend a lot on her. It was like her full week allowance on their one date, but he would insist and wouldn’t mind. He would joke her he would just ask from his father for money. He would play with her hand and fingers when entangled and he would pinch her chubby cheeks. He would walk her home, especially at night. Then by the street lamp or under the stars, he’d give her a parting kiss she would always treasure.

It was a smooth sailing. But the strong waves came faster than she had thought. He became too busy with school, wanting to cool off things with her. He doesn’t want her to get hurt. He wants space but he also doesn’t want to let her go. It was then that they started to become distant. Just like other couples, it was the lack of effort and initiative that had their relationship easily deteriorate.

Then came the time she had blown up like a volcano with her suspicions of him cheating and a result of lying.

It was a fight they couldn’t fix anymore. He had declared a break up and she couldn’t do anything. At first she accepted it but as time went by, she could only cry. She misses him but she got tired when it felt like she was the only one who wanted the relationship to work until even she doesn’t even initiated anymore. She thinks about him every day until today. She would think of two things to tell him in case they would see each other again. She would be sorry for all the times she would get mad at him for petty reasons and she’s sorry she couldn’t make him happy the way she should. She also wanted to thank him for everything. Because for once in her life, she knows how it was to be wanted and loved by someone loves you and cares for you too. She was the happiest girl in the world with him. She was a princess who wanted nothing more than time spent with her prince. Amidst all the promises of the future they made and imaginations she thought of, he was the dream that she wanted to be real.

He told her he thinks they should just be friends. She accepted it because it was better than nothing. He didn’t cut off all communication ties with her and gave her that tiny hope that maybe, just maybe, he still wanted her to be part of his life. Yet being called friend never sounded more painful when he called her that.

She thinks of him, wondering if he also thinks of her. She thinks if he also has second thoughts about ending the relationship. She thinks if he still loves her the way she loves him.

She knows it may not happen, because if he still wanted to, he should have done or said something. She wants him back, but she doesn’t want to force him. “I wanted to be loved, but I didn’t want to beg for it,” she recalls from I need a romance 2. She lives by those words now. She loves him. She still wants to be loved by him… But she doesn’t want to beg for it. She wants for him to go back, not because she pitied him or she begged him, but because he wants to; when he had realized that he still wants her the same way she does.

 She still loves him, but she thinks that maybe they are like one of those couples that were meant to be given a second chance, only to realize that it’s not going to work out the way they wanted to.

And now, all she can say is, she wouldn’t want or isn’t ready to love another Korean guy greater than him. 

This girl... She's busy with school. She was busy with him. She was busy with reality. She had always written stories and fanfictions of her favorite idols, making her fantasies come true, even with just stories. She got busy with reality because it was better than any love story she has read or written.

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Also posted here.