Aish, I just need this off my mind. 

I was born in Delft, The Netherlands. It's a quite big city, but not too big. Anyway, I lived there for almost 13 years and I totally became on of the 'city-girls', who didn't like anything dirty, went shopping every week and also was one of those party animals, even though I was only 12 years old. Now, I hope you can understand that it was a quite big shock when my mom told me we were going to move, to the other side of the country; the country-side. I knew it would be hard for me. People here speak in dialect, they are used to other stuff, it's quiet and there's a lot of space. In my birthplace, I was never afraid of walking alone in the dark, because I knew that there were always people around. Now, I don't even want to go outside anymore when it's dark. Simply because I'm death scared for the woods at night. 

I started my first year of high school in my new place, so my parents thought I wouldn't be that much of an outsider. Well, wrong; the first day of school, our principal already announced that there was someone from the West coast in school, and that that person was me. Embarrassed, I entered my classroom. That went quite well, most of my classmates found it interesting that someone from the big city was in their class and they started throwing me a lot of questions, which I happily answered. But I still felt different. Honestly, I never thought there would be that much difference, but even the fashion style is different from my style in the city. To me, it was quite normal to see people with pink mohawks, black people, or even people in total tradditional outfits - on the streets, I would find any kind of human. But here, everyone is quite simple and not as daring. 

Also, my dialect is very different. The way I speak, sounds kinda rude to the population in this area, when it's actually just normal. Well... It was normal to talk casual, even with your teachers. We like different music, different food ( because the city is multicultural, I love foreign food and I hate Dutch food) different shows and we even had different education. I was just like a puzzle piece who lost his puzzle. And then, people outside my class started bullying me, hating me, whatever. I tried to ignore it, but it didn't go as planned, and soon enough they also started hurting me. For example, when it was snowing, they trew pieces of eyes to me with a group of 20 boys, which means I was completely trapped. 

I hated that I didn't stand up for myself. I felt so weak, when I always were the strong one. But now? I didn't even recognize myself anymore. I hated school. So that's when I became the new Shoshona; I changed my style, my attitude and I even worked on my ABN (that's like the general 'dialect' of our country) so that they couldn't make fun of my dialect anymore. Honestly, I liked it. I became quite y. I was friendly to people who were friendly to me, but I was a total to bullies. All bullies. Which means, I also started to stand up for other bullied kids. That's how my trouble started fading away and in my second year of high school, I found a lot more friends. People actually starting approaching me, and were nice. 

Ever since then my y attitude went down a bit, because there was no need to be y. Yet I know that there are still a lot people talking behind my back, laughing at me when I walk around (well, count them as my sunbae's, because 3rd, 2nd and first years kinda respect me now) and stuff. And it makes me feel bad. 

Even now, after three years, when I'm in my third year of high school, I still want to move back. I am not really in contact with most of my old friends anymore, but I still miss my old place. And I still damn hate this area. 

Sorry for the long blog, I just had to write this off me. Also, I hope I don't bother you with my angry/depressing story (alright it's depressing to me, not to you guys of course) and if you did take the time to read it, I thank you for that. 

Also, I want to say to people who are bullied or hated, don't ever give up and stand up for yourself. Let them know that you are not weak, that you are beautiful and just human. I hate it when kids are getting bullied and they do nothing about it, because I know that they can help theirselves. So I just hope that you guys realize how it is to be bullied, when you don't know how it feels, or that you realize that you can do something about it when you are. 

Bye bye! <3