Anxiety.

Living with it inside your body,it's like a time bomb.

You don't know when it will explode, even though for my case I am already free from any medications.

Today,I had my dental appointment as last night I got a severe pain due to my toothache and my gums swelling a lot,and I had to be referred to dentist. What happened is during treatment, the buzzing sound of the machine and the enclosed room suddenly triggered my anxiety. I can't breathe, coughing a lot, my heart pumping so loud that I can literally hear it beside my ear.And to make it worse, my hands are shaking a lot and the lights feels so bright, makes me feel dizzy. I cried that time. 

It makes me feels so embarrassing to the doctor and the nurse attend to me. They had to help me to calm down as I failed to calm myself. 15 minutes to calm down, and we had to stop a few times as it feels really suffocating to be inside enclosed room with the buzzing sound. I had to do the treatment as my tooth nerve was in severe pain and I had one nurse holding my hands coz they shakes a lot. 

Its hard to live with the anxiety. I don't know what will trigger it, when it will happen,and what to do if I failed to calm down. Lucky for me today, the doctor and nurse are very understanding and help me a lot. And I am tired of this.