Selective Mutism

Hey there guys!

So, I want to talk about something and it's about me. Ever since I was young (Preschool to be exact) I never spoke to people other than my family or people I'm close to. And this occurred all the way up until I reached Junior High. Everyone that knows about me thought I was just mute because I didn't say anything at all until I was pretty much forced to speak. (You know when I had to read or something 😒) Everyone was shocked when I spoke (Even though I never said I couldn't speak.😒) So, they just assumed that I was just shy and didn't want to speak. But due to me not speaking or "being shy" I was bullied by some kids in school which I pretty much endured that's another story though.(I told my parents 1 time about it when it bothered me but not the other times.) So, I basically speak when I had to during Preschool to Junior High. In 8th to 12th grade I started to speak a little bit more but I still pretty much never talked which made people think I was just shy and unapproachable. (Even though I was nice to everyone. 🤷🏾‍♀️) I had atleast one friend I talked to daily until she left and went to a new school.(In high-school) We don't talk anymore but I did talk to selective group of people at school not like have a full conversation just small talk. After High School I still hadn't broke that not speaking thing and just assumed that maybe I just had social anxiety because I feel that I was just shy because I wanted to talk to people but never could bring myself to talk to them. Then I started working and can guess what happened? Yep, I'm not a social butterfly but did force me to talk more. Throughout this time I wondered why I can't I speak to people like everyone else and I was irritated by it. So, I decided to look up why I'm like this and found out what I may have... Selective Mutism. Selective mutism is a severe anxiety disorder where a person is unable to speak in certain social situations, such as with classmates at school or to relatives they do not see very often. This starts at a very young age and if left untreated it can progress into adulthood WHICH IS HARDER TO TREAT. This is a common thing about 15% of people have it and I guess it includes me. 🙄

But at least I I understand it now. I may be able to stop it or not I came this far. But luckily I'm good with technology and still have very few people I talk to outside of the family.

That's all for today~

-yumechrys~ OUT

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Kuro1412 #1 Mar 28, 2021 18:47:52

I never know aboug selective mutism, but if you want to have someone to talk with you can always hit me up in my dms. Would be nice to get to know others too. I hope yours can be treated asap and you'll be able to get better at holding convos with people since a lot of jobs demand that sadly :) but you'll get through it!! Good luck

YUNJAEelf #2 Mar 26, 2021 09:29:31

Wow!!! I have little bit of that too!!! I did had a little idea about this term but Never thought much about it. Thanks for sharing i will also look up this topic.

I do speak if anyone ask me anything, excellent online social friends but awkward with them in real life.
I give nice first impression too(like i come up to strangers with a nice little chat amd they won't know my actual talking nature) I have travelled solo and managed everything on my own,had worked in a office too but yes i do small talk and people assume I'm either arrogant,proud OR just MUTE/SHY/ANXIETY person.

But in recent years i have improved dramatically. Even I'm impressed by myself. Just this month my sister got married and oh god i was so rocking the social talking game,all relatives (Asian traditional family so assume 100 people of family) ,my siblings friends too,wedding photographers/
priest/makeup/vendors.....so many people (BIG FAT INDIAN WEDDING just for reference) and Everyone was amazed how much i have changed over the years.

But yes i still talk only when i want in daily life... my sister use to be chatty/noisy kind so now my parents say "oh the house is so quiet "
I am awkward if i don't see the person regularly/daily...so had small group of friends in both school and college but i know they Never had deep conversations with me... we all were close,in fact best friends but then 2 other frnds will be super close as talk about boys makeup or other stuff so i grew up not knowing any of these stuff ^^"