Some of you may know that I've been going through it and I have gotten better these days. But I also feel like I'm slowly creeping back into my depressing thoughts and doing crazy things. But then again I've been thinking that I maybe have been going through these emotions because of my job. I use to work with my sisters and brother, but my one sister and brother were let go because we were all sick from the virus and needed notes from our doctors say we were cleared from it. (Obviously my sister and I had given them ours but the doctor sent my sister's in late. And my brother had to get a new doctor but couldn't turn his in on time.) My other sister and her partner quit from where we worked. I just been reminiscing about them being there with me and how fun it was going to work together. But it ultimately makes me feel lonely at my current job. I kind of stopped having these thoughts while I was home sick with the virus, I was so much happier not going to my job. But now I feel as though it's creeping back..it might be a sign for me to let go of my job. I've always wanted to work from home and set my own schedule while doing what I love. And I always wanted to make a difference in the world by doing something great that helps other. But I feel like my life is withering away by me not doing anything I love. Although I been thinking these thoughts about harming myself, I already know that's not what I want it's just a irrational solution to my problems. I think I need to try and do what I want but the stuff I want to is costly. Basically, I wanted to start making things and selling things but with what I currently have it's impossible right now. So I've been enduring working at a place I don't want to work just to get what I want. I want to be successful and do things to help the world when I make a lot of money. I believe I'm a big dreamer and I'm not satisfied with the little things that could help me get to where I want to be. I may just be a bit emotional and mentally exhausted from these thoughts and feelings. I might just take a whole week off work. What do you guys think? What should I do to help myself not return to those dark times?