Hi everyone, I figured this Blog post should be made instead of a Personal Message. 

So for a long time I went by the name "RagdollAlice23" then I changed it to "Alethea_23". But even though it was a Month since the change, I felt like it wasn't me at all. In other words, has anyone gone through a change and felt uncomfortable? Well that's me. I can't seem to adjust to Alethea_23 and to be honest, I think I was looking for "inspiriation" to start writing again. Even though I said that wasn't the case for changing my name. 

Well, I guess I was kidding myself. I was hoping for something to work on but its not simple. I remember this one time, back when I first arrived on AFF, I started reading a lot of stories and I eventually started my own. I worked on it a whole year! I was pacing myself to do 4 pages a day and if I missed a day, I would do double (8 pages). And then there were some days, were I did the double and I would either take a break one day or continue on with the 4 pages. Mind you, this was back in 2012 or 2013. 

After I had finished the story, I went back and did the editing. I posted it on here and it did really well! Its on my first stories to be honest. "Just Once More" its a fic with Kris and an OC. 

Anyways, after that story, I wanted to take a little break and work on the sequel (Which I started but I haven't finished it.) So for my break, I started reading again on here and watching Korean drama's, getting into more kpop groups and stuff. Time went on. Almost 3 or 4 years before I started typing again. It was around 2016 when I started typing and felt like the best thing ever!! 

I created more oneshots, short stories and a few lengthy stories within those years. 

Now with this pandemic going on, I'm stressed out when I leave the house, I can't sleep well at night. I have to take some sleeping droplets to help me go to sleep now. I'm currently going to school and studying Child Development and I'm close to finishing as well. So I sort of think, the reason why I haven't typed is because I'm overwhelmed by things going on in the outside world. 

Writiing stories is one my stress relief that I can enjoy and not be pressured. But I guess it will be on hold until a little while longer. If I'm lucky, maybe around Christmas vacation I can type something ^^' I don't want to jinx myself and then nothing happens. Like I said, I'm also foucsed in my school work that is literally all week long. I try to be free on the weekends bc I want to rest... then Monday comes and its back to the routine of school work again. 

So getting back to the name change, I was literally thinking of going back to "RagdollAlice23" bc I made a lot of good stories with that name. Like I feel proud of myself and it means a lot to me. A few friends gave me that nickname and I only added the "23" bc it's a song that gave me comfort when I was younger and going through a hard time. 

Then this morning November 3, 2020 (American style) I came up with this new one. "LulaBebe". 

"Lula" is short for Tallulah. 

I am actually named after a flower... just not Tallulah lol. 

And ofc "Bebe" is from the fandom of MONSTA X "MONBEBE" 

I am also actually the "Baby" (youngest) of my family lol.

Sooo... I just put them together and ended up liking it and changed my name yet.. AGAIN! lol. I honestly hope it is the last time I do it. If not, I will for sure go back to my original name. 

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I also wanted to mention that most of my Posters, are made from a friend and I can't or I don't have access to the original poster to go back and Edit the "Storyline:" or "Story By:" from the RagdollAlice23. Those posters are just gonna have to stay as they are, until I can get in touch with my friend and ask if she can fix that part for me. 

I honestly don't know why I wanted to change my name. I guess its bc I'm still hoping I get inspired and try to work on something. If I ever do go back to my original name, I will delete this post and just leave the name alone. I've had that name with me for almost 12 years now. It's a part of me but I also used the name for the wrong reasons and I feel like I don't deserve to use the name anymore. It's like a punishment I gave myself. 

It's like, I'm good wit the new name and I like it but... I also miss the original name and I don't want to let go! If anyone reading this, has a suggestion, tell me. Keep the new name or go back to the orginial. I mean, my karma points aren't being used for anything anyways.