JUNG YOUNGHWI IS READY TO RETURN

정영휘

living things don't all require light in the same degree / some of us / make our own light: a silver leaf / like a path no one can use

name jung younghwi.

date of birth2 december + 22.

place of birthtongyeong, sk.

ethnicitykorean.

ualitygay.

languages

korean younghwi speaks slowly, with lots of inflection. his voice tends to give away exactly what emotion he's feeling, unless he puts in real effort to control it.

english since he's spent the past few years living abroad, his spoken english has had no choice but to improve. he's still markedly informal, but he's definitely fluent enough to speak english most of the time.

faceclaims.coups svt.

height & weight169cm & 67kg.

appearancestocky, short / years of dedication visible on his body / cauliflower ears framing a delicate face / eyes wide open, pink lips parted / black hair grown out, slightly wavy / a frown for every situation, and then a smile.

style

staples grey sweats, black jeans, plain tees/hoodies, oversized flannel, yellow pants, white socks, dirty black vans old skools.

standouts patterned polos, gold round glasses, bright orange windbreaker, rainbow sweater, silk pajama shirt, striped wool coat. .

personality

passionate, observant, repressive.

younghwi feels the need to live according to his own values, but it's taken him a long time to figure out what, exactly, those values are. as a result, he's spent most of his life frustrated, angry, and sensitive. this is how his childhood friends in tongyeong know him: well-intentioned but awkward, quiet but quick to blow up. now that he's had the chance to grow, younghwi's realized he really prefers peace and kindness to anger and rage; his tendency for silence is changing from don't speak to me to i'd rather listen to what you have to say.

he still finds it hard to talk about himself and his emotions, afraid of being interrogated for his reasoning and remaining unable to express what he's thinking and feeling.

his lack of a traditional career path might make him seem like a careless drifter, but it's really the opposite - he takes his life quite seriously, and has spent it slowly gathering information about what the best course of action for him is, refusing to settle with what's expected of him.

that being said, his decisions do tend to be influenced by emotion more than logic, and he has a hard time with strict, unforgiving things like laws and math. he thinks in terms of the physical, not the abstract, and acts according to his own will.

tl;dr: neutral good. hufflepuff. choleric. isfp. type 4.

background

tw: physical abuse

the jungs have been in tongyeong for as long as anyone can remember. well-educated and widely-respected, his father is a minor executive, his mother a housewife. he is their only son, exactly what they wanted.

younghwi starts sports as soon as he can walk - there are photos of him in baseball gear at four years old. he's good at it, too, but that's to be expected. his father was tongyeong's star soccer player in his youth, and his mother's always been a beautiful figure-skater.

he's busy, for a kid, shuttled from one practice to another, but that doesn't mean it's easy. he's as angry as he is athletic, prone to tantrums and shouting matches. there are many unspoken expectations in the jung household, and though younghwi can't put them into words, he can sense them - he can sense that they don't fit him properly.

it's okay once he's in the zone, once he's moving, but school is difficult. quickly, he's labeled a problem child, disagreeable and maybe even dangerous, spending his classtime out in the hallway as punishment. this doesn't do anything for his social skills, and younghwi was raised with competition in mind, not friendship. it's no fun to play with a kid who gets fussy the second he loses control.

the first real changing point of younghwi's life comes when he's enrolled in a boxing class at ten. he's done martial arts before - taekwondo is a must, for jung sons - but never something so focused on the fight. it works, puts some direction to all his energy. he gets in trouble less, finishes his homework more.

it's at this point that some of the kids in his class eat with him at lunch. he usually sits alone; he's never had anyone come to him. they're led by lee junghee, her smile radiant, sweet. younghwi has his guard up: why are they doing this?

somehow, junghee corrals all of her friends (good kids. they're different from him, he decided long ago) into welcoming younghwi with open arms. he doesn't understand her reasoning, but who is he to reject this gift? he feels like he has real friends for the first time. it doesn't matter that it's probably an act of pity or a simple whim, it doesn't.

among his friends, younghwi ends up, somehow, being on the quieter side. there's little to provoke him here, so he rarely screams or jumps straight to fighting. it feels better, to be a listener most of the time. it feels like he's found his place. sometimes he screams, gets overdramatically angry, and it's not even because he's mad. it's because it makes everyone else laugh. (sometimes it happens unintentionally - genuine rage on his part, not knowing how to react to friendly teasing pushing a little too hard on his sore spots.)

still, he’s hyper-aware of their differences. first, he doesn't spend as much time hanging out as the rest of them: he has matches and practices and spars to attend, or risk the fists of his father. second, and most importantly, he doesn't have the same ambition most of them do. even just one day feels like so much - he doesn't understand how raon can imagine art galleries, how muyeol can be so sure of his future medical license. he's good at sports, but not so good that it's something he can rely on. he's not even sure he likes it, really, he's just been doing it for so long.

in high school, his boxing career gets serious. this is when the real spars happen, when he starts coming away with bruises and ringing ears and for the first time, fear. he doesn't win as often - not for lack of skill, but because he tends to just give up halfway through.

it doesn't help that he's turning out smaller than anyone expected - once, just once, his dad hears his female friends tell him, "you're kinda pretty, huh, younghwi? we'd just need to clean you up a little." he's always known that his father's standards were - unrealistic, at best, and wrong at worst.

a man, younghwi muses, his ears ringing, not from a boxing match, what is a man? evidently, it's stony silence and muscle-might. it's being right even when you're wrong. it's raising your hand against your own son.

a man must be strong! younghwi brushes his teeth carefully, so as not to aggravate the bruise forming on his cheek. a man must always win! he tells his friends it's from a practice match that got a little too intense. are you not a man, younghwi? he's quieter than he's ever been. he just doesn't have anything to say.

he's halfway through sixteen and he's standing in front of the boxing gym, parents' car driving off into the distance.

i don't want to do this, really, he thinks. so he doesn't. he feels almost like the kid he used to be, who didn't turn in his homework and never talked to anyone, but it's not... a bad feeling.

he sits outside of a convenience store and plays a game on his phone the whole time. he chats with a few people -strangers, usernames, distant from his problems - and then he walks back to the gym when it's time for his parents to pick him up.

he keeps doing it. he keeps playing the game, makes a few friends. he talks less and less in person.

eventually, his dad catches on. it's the worst argument they've ever had - and that's saying something.

you are an investment. if you do not succeed, then what does that say about us? do you care about us, your family, our reputation at all? you are a terrible son, younghwi.

he can't even leave the house, because his father has locked all the doors. and the windows. younghwi unlocks his phone, opens up the game. there's one of the players he gets along with online - their user is pipinhotchai. they play together, late into the night. younghwi feels like the argument was just a bad dream. a nightmare, really.

the days keep turning. younghwi keeps skipping boxing practice. he starts skipping family dinners, eating at friends' houses when he can and spending his shrinking allowance on instant meals when he can't. he keeps talking to chai, too. they get along well. chai knows nothing of who younghwi used to be, who younghwi could have been, who younghwi is scared of becoming. he only knows who younghwi is.

"staring at your phone so often isn't good for your eyes," muyeol tells younghwi. "yeah, probably," younghwi replies, gaze only flicking up to muyeol for a moment before going back to text chai again.

they get older, and everyone is pulled in their own directions. younghwi is halfway living out of all his friends' houses now, his own home steeped in frigid anger. they've hardly talked since that argument.

he spends all his money - saved from his birthdays, saved from odd jobs for family friends and people around town, saved from his old boxing wins - on a shot at life in busan, and never looks back. he stays in touch with a few of his old friends, but he's desperately busy, juggling multiple part-time jobs to make enough to survive. he's stopped playing the game, but he still talks to chai. they text, and skype when younghwi's wifi works. they really do get along well, and somewhere along the line their relationship - shifts.

younghwi thinks they both feel it - there are a lot of things chai’s shown and taught him about, especially now that chai’s in college in los angeles. a lot of things that just make sense, a lot of things that feel like saying ' you' to who his father wanted him to be - but he's not sure. he thinks he might be in love. they've chatted every day for almost two years straight, at this point. it's possible.

in the end, it's chai that brings it up. it's not an elegant conversation, or even a particularly romantic one. it's two boys, thousands of miles apart, sitting in front of their laptops at midnight for one and eight in the morning for the other. but it works. i have a boyfriend, younghwi thinks the entire day after, exhausted as he is from staying up all night. it's a happy kind of thought.

younghwi it's almost nye and i don't want to keep doing this next year but idk what else i can do

this is going to sound crazy but chai

u could come live with me chai

younghwi for real?

i can't believe i'm doing this, younghwi thinks, sitting in the airport, waiting to board. but he doesn't think he'll regret it - there's nothing tying him to the life he's currently living, not really.

(the only person he’s told is boyoung. “is this stupid?” he asks her, on one late night phone call. she’s busy, too, pursuing her own dreams. “maybe a little,” she admits, but continues. “i think you should do it, though. you always talk about how you wish you knew what you wanted to do... i feel like you’d have more options there? and, i mean...” she trails off, “if i was dating someone i’d definitely want to be with them, like, in person.” he makes her promise not to tell anyone else - if this is a mistake, no one else needs to know until he’s made it.)

chai meets him at the airport, and it feels like - he doesn't even know what word to use, what word could possibly capture this inimitable emotion - when they hug for the first time.

the sun is bright outside. california is very warm, he finds.

life is peaceful, for a while, younghwi living out of chai's apartment, but he gets restless. "i need to do something," he tells chai, "i'm happy i'm here, but i can't just keep sitting around."

"you're standing right now," chai replies, cheeky, but follows up with a serious answer. "this might not be the right suggestion, but maybe you could pick up boxing again? it always sounded like you only hated it because of your dad, not actually doing it."

it's not like he has any better ideas, so younghwi gives it a try. in the end, it's always been what he's best at. tunnel-visioning down to an opponent, throwing a punch. he finds he did miss it, actually. it feels good to move his body again. he starts teaching, too, working with kids. it’s not like raon’s one-true-love for art or sungho’s lifelong dedication to baking. it’s not fast or hot or anything like anger. it’s slow-building, the realization - this is what he wants to do for the rest of his life, or at least for now.

when chai graduates, they move to san diego. the boxing scene is even better than la, the restaurants are delicious, and it's cheaper, less traffic. for the first time, younghwi feels like he's in the right place.

and then he wakes up to his high school groupchat full of messages for the first time in months.

trivia

•ate his boogers until he was eleven.

•active on social media. a lot of gym selfies + brunch pics.

•has a mild fur allergy.

•first started drinking when he was fifteen with his parents, but alcohol usually made their arguments blow up more. younghwi has now pretty much cut alcohol altogether for physical conditioning purposes, but occasionally he'll take a sip or two of whatever chai's having.

•younghwi does most of the cooking when they eat at home, something he learned in his time alone. chai's career and personal connections also mean they get to eat good food quite often, and usually on the magazine or restaurant that's hired chai's dollar.

• his visa to the us and initial plane tickets were all dealt with by chai and his family. younghwi did actually plan to start working fairly soon after coming to the us, but it took a while for him to get a green card.

• did poorly in school: missed a lot of class for disciplinary reasons, bad at turning in work on time, didn't study much. likely the worst academic record in the friend group.

scroll right for lifestyle!

occupationboxing instructor + professional lightweight boxer.

daily schedule

younghwi gets up at 7:45 in the morning and goes for a quick run before getting ready for the day. he usually goes to bed at 11PM, but it fluctuates.

on monday, mornings are spent meal-prepping, setting up potential matches with his manager, and making sure the gym's ready for the week. he spends his afternoons and evenings taking classes to get his teaching certificate.

on tuesday, he's in the gym from 10AM-6PM - the first class (for seniors looking to stay in shape) is at noon, and after that most of his classes, which last until 5PM, are aimed at children. the hours in-between are for cleaning, warmup/cooldown, and other tasks that come up.

on wednesday, he teaches private lessons, mostly to adults, so his work hours vary based on his clients, but he has his teaching classes again at the same time as on monday. he'll usually catch up with friends on wednesday nights.

on thursday, he teaches the childrens' classes at the gym again, but usually thursday are the nights when fights happen at the ring, so he's either preparing for a match of his own, or heading over with chai to watch.

on friday, he meets up with his boxing manager to discuss any changes he should make to his routine, where to improve, and what new techniques he should try; he manages some of the new instructors at the gym from noon til closing. sometimes his matches are on friday nights instead, in which case he'll leave the gym at 5PM to start preparing.

on weekends, he usually has time off unless one of his private lesson clients asks to reschedule (this gives him corresponding free time on wednesday), so he usually just hangs out with chai or they go to one of the restaurants chai is writing about. sometimes they go out at night, but since younghwi doesn't drink and they'd both rather stay home and game, it's usually only when someone else invites them.

struggles

closure younghwi has gotten over most of the issues from his youth by now, but he's not completely healed. there are lots of small things from his past in tongyeong that he's over in theory, but coming back to town will dredge back up. his relationship with his family (never to be seen again?), his relationship with his sport (weakened, but growing strong now?), his relationships with his uality and with chai (something new, something lovely, but something to be broken by the town that broke him?)

he's not the mess he was when he last stood within tongyeong's city limits, but unless he soothes his old aches instead of allowing them to flare up again, his new identity might break under all the stress.

financial independence while chai has never had a problem letting his family pay for things, younghwi is uncomfortable with this - in the event that he and chai break up (unlikely, but still possible) his income on its own isn't really livable in california. because of this, he's really putting a lot of effort into getting his career - both pro-boxing and becoming a phys ed teacher - off the ground, but it hasn't been very easy. chai knows about how much younghwi dislikes their reliance on his parents, and so he tries to pay for things with his own salary as often as he can, but old habits are hard to break.

CHAI

❯

name tangsrisuk 'chai' kongpaisarn.

faceclaim ten nct.

date of birth & ageseptember 17, 1996.

place of birthbangkok, thailand.

hometown bangkok, thailand.

nationality thai.

ethnicity chinese.

occupation food writer/journalist.

personality

chaotic good. enfj. sanguine. gryffindor.

uses humor to communicate, but can be surprisingly sensitive if the situation calls for it. morally upright, but with little regard for rules or normalcy. has workaholic tendencies, and often pushes himself to his limits. can be offensive or intentionally provocative - usually decides quite quickly if he likes someone or not, but given enough time and good input from people he does trust, he can be won over.

background a rich kid, born with a silver spoon in his mouth. had a very happy childhood, but was much more interested in the outside world than what was around him. very ambitious and goal-focused for most of his life. comes from a wealthy, loving family, and they're a large part of chai and younghwi's financial support, even though chai's career as a writer is going quite well.

current status long-term relationship. (i was imagining chai accompanying younghwi on his trip back to tongyeong bc he's curious about where younghwi grew up, but he could also stay in san diego and interact over the phone if you'd rather write it that way!)

love story mostly detailed in the background section! chai and younghwi met on a gaming app when they were 16 and 17 respectively, and made fast friends. they talked almost every day, and eventually shared their personal contact info with each other. chai was one of younghwi's major supports during his year in busan, and younghwi did the same for chai during his first year of college in the us. they've been dating for just over three years now (two living together), and they have a happy life together in california. chai makes younghwi laugh and talk about his emotions, while younghwi makes chai slow down, think things through, and appreciate his life. their relationship is quiet but comfortable - they know each other very well by now, from inside jokes to childhood traumas, in part thanks to their start as almost-anonymous internet friends. it's not always perfect between the two of them (sometimes younghwi still angers too-easily over things that are really inconsequential, sometimes chai gets too bogged down in his own personal ambitions and ends up ignoring younghwi) but they're both aware of their faults and over time, have learned the best way to live with each other.

ending they stay together.

trivia chai can speak english and thai best, but he also knows some chinese and a little korean - the game that he and younghwi met on was a korean game he got into because he liked one of the character designs.

김

무

열

big differences... they first met in a group taekwondo class when muyeol moved to tongyeong. they didn't get off to the best start - muyeol had already been warned by the other children to watch out for younghwi's powerful fists and short temper. he made no attempt to interact, even when younghwi awkwardly stood near him for the whole lesson. ("that boy's from seoul," his father had whispered in his ear, "best get to know someone like that.") after junghee convinces the friend group to let younghwi in, they get along well; they're not the closest by far, but they never argue, and often they agree on what the group should do to hang out. but as time passes, as they reach high school and then beyond, younghwi can't help but notice the differences in their lives - muyeol is someone defined by his family, devoted to them in spite of their disagreements, while younghwi hardly talks to his at all anymore. he and muyeol don't interact nowadays except occasionally reacting to one another's messages in the groupchat, allowing physical distance to be an easy excuse for how wide the gap between them really has become.

pulling pigtails... raon and younghwi have simply never gotten along. from her icy exterior to his artillery-fire anger, from her refined art to his brute force, they've never found common ground. it's been like this since raon first moved to tongyeong and wound up in the same class as younghwi at six years old - they've never given it the chance to change. for a long time people (raon included) assumed that this was a simple, playground-bullying type of flirting on younghwi's end - opposites attract, or something - and to a certain extent raon enjoyed the attention. but now they're both back in town for junghee's funeral - instead of exploding younghwi holds his breath and counts to seven, and there's a picture of him and another man on his phone lockscreen - so that theory is shattered quickly. younghwi doesn't have fond memories of raon (he claims she was the one who provoked almost all their fights) but maybe they just never bothered to really get to know each other at all.

허

라

온

김

형

민

two paths diverged... hyeongmin and younghwi have never been alike, and they won't start now. as kids, they'd been complete opposites - younghwi was treated like a wild animal and hyeongmin the picture of how far civilization has come, pushing up his glasses as the teacher asks him to explain how to use the new projector again. younghwi pays little attention to hyeongmin compared to the others, but he feels sort of jealous of him. if younghwi could be like hyeongmin - smart and quiet, so easily falling into line - he can't help but think his life would be easier. that's why he's shocked by the hyeongmin he meets after junghee's death; they didn't talk after graduation, and younghwi has no clue what could have happened to sour hyeongmin so thoroughly. he wants to reach out, share what helped him get better, but it doesn't feel like his place, not after all this time.

kanqwu.

the little things... junghee knew all of the rumors about younghwi - had seen him stand out in the hall as punishment, had seen him throw reckless punches in the schoolyard - and yet she still found it within herself to extend her hand in friendship. "i think he's just misunderstood," she told the rest of her friends, dragging them to sit beside him at lunch when they were twelve. younghwi admits he owes a lot to junghee; if not for her, he probably would have gone through his entire school career alone, or with much more unsavoury friends. at the same time, he's well aware that he's never been her number one priority. junghee is nice, but that's because she's nice to everyone - younghwi isn't special. this is what he thinks, most of the time, but then small moments will pass between them, as if by chance, and it feels like they're the best friends in the world. she's the one that still talked to him the most out of 'the trio', but was usually in the context of the group as a whole, especially since she was always trying to get everyone to interact again.

이

정

희

문

민

서

rooftop hideaway... minseo was always kind to younghwi, even before junghee really introduced them, and he appreciates that. it's the reason why, when the fights really start, it's her house he runs to - she's generous, and never asks unwanted questions, but he doesn't want to burden her. at first, he insists on sleeping outside, on paying when he can, and never taking food from the moon family guesthouse. there's always been a bit of distance between them - often, their interactions are transactional, and younghwi is scared of stepping beyond those bounds. though she might not be aware of it, younghwi is grateful for the way she helped him in high school, and he's determined to pay back her kindness as soon as he has the chance.

wishesque.

golden boy... jaemin is, more than anything, pretty. during their time in tongyeong, younghwi thinks about this often. it's not quite a crush, but it's something like that, fledgling feelings rooted in jaemin's perfect facade. they're close - jaemin is often more than willing to take younghwi's side, and younghwi really appreciates this. however, when younghwi's relationship with chai develops, and he realizes his feelings for jaemin hadn't been entirely platonic, younghwi cuts off almost all contact. he feels... not quite guilty, but not ready to talk to jaemin again. on jaemin's end, he's mildly irritated - younghwi had been so simple, and suddenly he's gone? their relationship reaches a hidden breaking point when jaemin finds out about chai - he hates chai, hates his easy wealth and the way the world just opens for him. to make things even worse, younghwi no longer listens to jaemin, turning to chai instead. there's real tension between jaemin and younghwi, even if only one of them is aware of it.

moonbok.

나

재

민

권

보

영

partners in crime... boyoung and younghwi are bonded by their similar pasts. they're both easily misunderstood and mislabelled, and while it took their friendship a few years to really get going, she might be who younghwi is the closest to in the entire friend group. they share a genuine determination to live their lives on their own terms, among many other similarities. the night before graduation, after younghwi bought his bus ticket to busan and boyoung her's to seoul, they made a promise to check on each other as their new lives started. they call once a week, so she's the first - and only - one to hear about his growing relationship with chai, and his decision to move to california. since she only realized her dreams in senior year, she supported younghwi in his journey to find his own, and gave the final push he needed to leave tongyeong behind mentally and start living for himself.

calcifers.

spotting partner... sungho provides younghwi with a simple friendship and easy joy. like junghee, sungho welcomed younghwi to the friend group with open arms. as the two most athletic of the group, they bonded over shared gym trips and sungho's first attempts at protein-powder pastries. this is probably the silliest of younghwi's friendships - in high school they would race each other to the convenience store after school got out. now, sungho tends to facetime younghwi on his runs, which usually coincides with when younghwi gets home from work. they'll catch up, talk about sungho's misadventures in seoul and younghwi's life in san diego. sungho is also one of the only ones who's interacted with chai before - he picked up sungho's call while younghwi was in the bathroom, and they've gotten along ever since.

shibutani.

남

성

호

are you ready to return?

"honestly?" he asks, as though he himself isn't sure of the answer. "i'm not. i'm not, but i think i should go back."

did you keep in contact with your friends?

he mulls over this question. "well... kind of? here and there. some of them. " he pauses, half-pouting. "sometimes childhood friends are better left in childhood, i think, but i'm happy to see them again anyway."

what were you doing when you received the news?

"i'd just woken up," he says, hands fiddling with his phone. "because of the time difference, i just unlocked my phone to do a little morning scrolling and, like, it was all there. no one was talking anymore, because it had already been pretty much a day for everyone else, so i ended up reading the first... the first message, and everyone else's reactions." he looks down at his lap, at his hands, then back up again. "i ended up taking the day off."

is there anything you wish you would have told junghee before she died?

his gaze goes to middle distance, staring at nothing - or perhaps a memory of junghee, visible only to him. "i don't know if there's anything i wish i could have told her," he says, "we still talked every now and then. it was nice." there's a silent but at the end of that sentence, held in as younghwi bites his lip, visibly emotional, "i just wish i could have seen her in person one last time... it's been so long."

what is your favorite memory with junghee?

younghwi makes a face that's somewhere between fond and confused. "i don't know if you could call it a favorite, but it's definitely the one i remember best," he says. "it wasn't too long after i... after i quit boxing. i'd just gotten into another fight with my dad and i ran out of the house, i wasn't even thinking at all - and then i bumped into her. i was probably a mess, like i think i had a bruise starting, and she just... she hugged me, and didn't let go. i think i had my first public breakdown that day, at like eleven pm on the street, and she gave me one of the popsicles she'd been out to buy... we didn't talk much right then, but it wasn't -" he catches his breath, all the words having come out of his mouth at once. "sometimes, when i saw - anyone, really, after a fight with my dad, they'd just leave me alone, like - like i was a bomb that needed time to defuse, or something... but that time the silence didnt feel that way. she was giving me the chance to talk, but i just... hadn't learned how to yet."

what would you say is your way of coping?

"i used to be terrible, but i don't think i need to tell you that. my - my last interaction with my dad was mailing him a few hundred thousand won for all the wall repairs from when i was a kid." clearly, he hasn't made it obvious enough. "for the holes. in the walls." he bites out, then takes a breath. "but i'm a lot better now. i go see my therapist once a month or so, depending on how i'm doing. i try to talk things out with chai, or whoever's involved."

is there anything you'd like to tell your friends?

"i'm not who i used to be." this is the most certain he's sounded so far, his voice sure and unwavering. "i've gotten better. i won't yell or scream or start any fights - and i don't want to... i don't want to be seen that way anymore."

if you were asked to stay a few more days, maybe even a week, would you?

he hums, considering. "i could, i guess. i know chai would want to... explore where i grew up, and all that." he's silent for a long moment, reminiscing on his past or imagining the future. "but i'm not sure... i'm really not sure."