Hi!

It's been years since I posted here. Tbh, I've contemplated many times whether I should delete this account or not.
Somehow, it remained stagnant as I (tried) to walk away from shipping and start adulting.

I found myself visiting this account during my down times. I would be lying if I say I didn't miss this community.
Back then, I found a space where I belong. I had people who I can fangirl with regarding my otps. I was motivated to
create things whether it be a fanedit, a fanvid or fanfics, and for some reason people seemed to appreciate my works.
My experience in the Super Generation fandom has brought me many happy memories that I still look back to warmly,
even now that I am reaching thirty (are we all now in our late 20s? hehe)

But as with the happy experiences, there were also the saddest and most painful ones. The dating confirmations,
SJ in military and Jessica leaving. 2014 was a really cruel year for Sones (and SonElf). Honestly, I was overwhelmed.
I turned to fandoms to escape the pressures of college life, but when it too has become a cause of stress, I decided I
had to move on from it. I wanted to leave when everything was still beautiful.

I got into different fandoms throught the years that followed. I expanded my world, too. And in the process, I found myself. 

A big part of "myself" was the whole experience I had while being here. I couldn't fully let go and move on. I was still
following SNSD and SJ lowkey because more than the shipping and the fangirling, I genuinely enjoy KPop. I also got
into APink and Shinee because of Taemin and Naeun in WGM <3 and then a few years after that, I got into RV* and now
EXO* (which is funny and a bit hypocritical and maybe karma because I used to be bitter toward exo due to the dating
and because some fans said they'd abandon SJ because they're old.. yup I realize how immature I was hehe cue the cringe)

Perhaps another reason I never got around to deleting this account is The Chaser. I am extremely frustrated with myself 
on how I ended it. And I realize how disrespectful it was to the readers. I had its story planned out early on but it came to
a point where writing has become a chore and inspiration was too elusive. I knew I couldn't finish it the way I intended.
The least I could do was add one last chapter--a lame, sorry excuse of a chapter.

This haunts me to this day.

I also missed writing. I missed making fanedits (fan vids not so much lol). I missed creating for myself. 

Adulting took a toll on my creativity and imagination. I read my fics here and I was surprised how I could have managed
to have written them. If I were being honest, I don't think I can write the same way. My vocabulary is now replaced with
technical terms and formal words. My once naive views on life and fairy tale-ish dreams were substituted by Nihilist views
and Realism. I wonder if I could ever write emotional and descriptive sentences again.

I didn't want to lose anymore than I already had simply because I grew older. I resolved into re-igniting my creativity and
imagination before I become a tool of the establishment !!

So, I thought I'd try to write again. And what better start than to pick up where I left off. I will start a sequel to The Chaser
but with new main characters* - wink wink -

Now, I cannot promise anything. My writing is super rusty as you can already tell (sometime between 2015 and 2016,
I stopped caring for punctuations hahaha) But at least, it's a good exercise and motivation to get better. 

Lastly, I just feel I am in the right headspace again to tackle Super Generation. Our girls may have gone solo, but look how
they flourish in their respective fields! Awards left and right!!! I've also noticed that Taeyeon and Leeteuk are in good terms
again. While I do not wish for them to get married anymore (I simply wish all idols to be happy regardless of what I want),
I felt like time has already healed the wounds. Seeing them interact again is more than enough for me :)

For a short while, I guess I will be visiting this account more often hehe

Maybe I'll see familiar faces again?