NAME: 최하린, choi harin

BIRTHDAY & AGE : november 28, 2000 (18)

NICKNAMES: 

고양린: the first thing fans begin to notice about harin are her feline-like features. some say she looks like a tiger, some others think she resembles a fox, but the most popular is the idea that she looks like a cat. one fateful day, when her hometown is revealed to be goyang, the combination of goyangi (cat) and harin, goyangrin, is born.

모태 센터: she was born a star, the company and the public are convinced. meaning "natural born center", the nickname begins to gain traction in korean online forums and it takes a while for international fans to catch on. when they do, they shorten it to "motae".

정대표딸: it begins as a joke, but a passive agressive one. "she's ceo jung's daughter," netizens joke. she gets so many lines, she's so popular and she does all kinds of solo activities. among the reasons why they stopped stanning mode, some former fans include that they thought there was an imbalance in popularity. "i get it, harin is talented, but it's like she's really the ceo's daughter".  

린, 최린, 하하, 하최: generic nicknames, all stemming from the syllables in her name. her favorites are rin and hachoi.

ETHNICITY : korean

NATIONALITY : south korean

BIRTHTOWN : goyang, south korea

HOMETOWN : goyang, south korea

HEIGHT & WEIGHT : 169cm & 51kg (profile reads 170cm & 47kg)

APPEARANCE : off stage, she's eye-wrinkling smiles, rosy lips and dark hair freely cascading down her back. on stage —hair tied up and makeup over her face— her gaze is sharp and entrancing, attracting all sorts of compliments for her monolids, traditionally deemed ugly. she's got it all: small nose, oval-shaped face, she's thin and she's got good proportions, she's tall but not too tall, she can be both deathly charismatic and undoubtedly adorable. international fans love her visuals, korean fans have always thought she's pretty, netizens don't pick on her for her looks.

as expected of choi harin, the center of mode.

STYLE : the embodiment of the group's chic image: brand names, leather jackets, well-fitted pants and dangly earrings are all over her closet. would it be an exaggeration to call her the group's fashionista? fans can't get enough of her outfits, just take a look at how often her looks are complimented in online forums. not even her practice wear is chosen carelessly: everything is polished, everything looks good.

(she'd rather be struck by lightning than leave the dorm looking ugly. not even simple everyday clothes cut it. it wasn't like this at first. it was just fun picking out clothes and truly feeling like an idol, a star, when the stylists worked their magic on her.

she used to get ready at record speed when she first joined dm, she takes an eternity now. she was once eager to see what their stylist chose for her, now she watches their every move like a hawk. what if the strapless top isn't tight enough? what if her pants are unflattering? what if the members' outfits upstage hers? that can't happen. she can't go on stage —can't go anywhere, really— looking anything short from perfect. she can't trust just anyone with her wardrobe, she barely trusts herself).

PERSONALITY (N.)

❝ a rush at the beginning i get caught up, just for a minute.
megaphone to my chest 
broadcast the boom, boom, boom and make them all dance to it. ❞

/ / /

i just want to be special, the pollyanna
easy-going, imaginative, adventurous, loyal, well-meaning
absent-minded, intelligent, tolerant, ambitious, attention-loving
inconsistent, self-centered, envious, moody, hypercritical 
broken ace, i am a monster, wanting is better than having

PERSONALITY : no matter how different, all types of personalities could find a common friend in harin. laidback and relaxed, she's accepting and simply easy to be around without being boring. wrapped in an air of tranquility, there's something captivating about her love of adventure and the extraordinary. she's no tornado, brashly people into her endeavors, she's more like a stream, gently pulling them along once they themselves have made the decision to experience the world by her side.

because what a world to experience it is, really. it's a common ocurrence to find harin zoning out as her mind, prompted by the colors of the sunset or the movement of a tree, entertains various possibilities. it's quite the contradiction: she has an eye for the things people usually take for granted but, in the process of disecting, bending and breaking them in her mind, she misses what's right in front of her. when it comes to noticing changes in patterns and behavior (or even just differenciating salt from sugar), she falls short in comparison to more observant members. the selfless ones, too. she wishes it wasn't the case, but it's in harin's nature to heavily prioritize and focus on the things she's involved in, sometimes even to assume that things revolve around her. however, she makes up for it with a quick wit: although she's not the first to notice, never underestimate harin's ability to learn and understand.

that's the dreamer harin, the fast learner harin, the chill harin, the harin that pretends she didn't just zone out, the harin who boldly faces every bug in the dorm, the harin that falsely believes she's the reason why something happened, the one who cares about every trainee at dm and wants them to get along, who hypes you up, who listens attentively to everyone, who makes sharp enough quips and makes up words for hilarity's sake. these days, she wonders what's happening to that harin. these days, it's as if something takes over her and, momentarily, the harin she knows best disappears.

all she ever wanted was to live an extraordinary life, to make a difference. being outstanding, being special, it always seemed so far away. and yet mode's main rapper, harin, is the center and one of the most popular members of the group. harin can't believe that's her. she can't believe she's receiving all this love and attention, that people truly think she's as extraordinary as she's always wanted to be. the feeling is intoxicating, dangerously so. she's great, amazing, she's loved. mode's harin is on top of the world and the next thing she knows is she wants to be there alone. she doesn't think the other members are beneath her, that's just mean, but is it mean for her to want them to be? anger, fear, distress and paranoia strike when she thinks about her dream being taken away from her. she will do everything to hold on to it, so mode's harin takes over choi harin. usually carefree and relaxed, she begins to nitpick, to judge, to calculatingly sneak in comments to make herself look better, to spend longer hours in the practice room and leave the dorm last in the morning. whose bias could she possibly be if she keeps on dancing like this? wearing outfits this bland? who's going to look at her if this is her position for the ending pose? the pitch is too high, she caught the camera a second too late. nobody cares about these petty things, but she does. god, how she wishes she could be as funny as miho or as good of a dancer as jangmi (or does she wish they were worse?).

the visual gets an advertisement gig and she wants it desperately. their main vocal is featured in a song and it hurts how much she wishes it were her. she congratulates them to their face only to find herself crying that night. she used to be full of team spirit. she could have been mode's rock. is this what she's become? a fake? a liar? a liar who makes the embarrassing confession of wanting mode to be a family when she can't feel happy for her members? a liar who, without batting an eyelash, says she doesn't want their relationship to change despite all the promotion she gets? she cries herself to sleep because she wishes it were true (she knows it was true once), wishes she wasn't the main obstacle keeping her away from the family she wants to have. she cries because she knows it'd be possible if it weren't for her, she's the problem. she can't recognize herself.

some days she jokes around with the members and they go out together, some other days she's ashamed to even talk to them. all she wants to do some days is explore seoul or marathon stranger things at the dorm, start a vlive without managers around and break free. other days she feels like scoffing at herself because that won't do anything for her popularity. some days she falls asleep in a practice room, other days she has to force herself to go. she doesn't deserve all of this, doesn't deserve to improve and be worthy of the fancam views, the solo promotions and the center position in mode. but she wants it all the same and she hates herself because she knows she'll be back to sleeping in the couch in the recording booth at the first (nonexistent) threat to the stardom they said she was meant for.

/ / /

TRIVIA :

【 ✕ 】: can play the guitar. she learnt how to play when she was eight and went through stages of dropping it and going back to playing. since she didn't take her guitar to the dm dorms, no one has seen her play.

【 ✕ 】: a bit more energetic on variety. laughs at most things, does well at the games and has just the right amount of banter with mcs.

【 ✕ 】: a quote that she really likes is "those who don't believe in magic will never find it"

【 ✕ 】: harin was never good at english, but international popularity knocked and you bet she opened. she's not the most proficient, but she tries. someday, she hopes she will be.

【 ✕ 】: loves anecdotes and puns. she's proudest of herself when she finds a really good pun because puns are stupid and fun. anecdotes, she loves because they're intriguing and they happened in real life. some people are really captivating storytellers, they just don't know it, and usually anecdotes are the only way to find out.

【 ✕ 】: pictures, pictures, pictures. selfies are fun, but she loves to take pictures of random things the most. she doesn't post them on social media. social media can be a chore sometimes.

【 ✕ 】: you know it's a harin post if it's accompanied by a little video in the end (whether it'd be of the members laughing or the camera panning around their dressing room or just her making a sound like "whoa" or saying "bye")

【 ✕ 】: her favorite band is the , her dad's favorite. her music taste is pretty varied though and because indie rock doesn't exactly match mode's image, it's been kept a secret from the fans. she usually brings up indie pop artists and camila cabello when asked about the songs she's been listening to, her favorite artists, etc. she does like their music, some of them she really likes, but they're not her favorites.

【 ✕ 】: a fan of "dorky" series and franchises. harry potter, marvel, star wars. it's been brought up in fansigns more than in variety or official mode content, "true" fans pride themselves in knowing this about harin.

【 ✕ 】: having her hair tied up on stage has become sort of a tradition. she likes it, it makes the experience feel more special.

【 ✕ 】: harin loves to meet fans in any way, shape or form. whether it'd be seeing mode banners while filming a music show performance or a fully fledged fansign, it's the highlight of her idol experience.

【 ✕ 】: she's very interested in acting. it's literally an opportunity to become a character in a story, it's kind of all she wants.

【 ✕ 】: she's tried archery a couple of times (blame the hunger games). with some practice, she could represent mode pretty well in isac (and hopefully someone will make it an iconic gif). she's an average runner but she's pretty strong, which could help in bowling/pitching/wrestling. 

【 ✕ 】: tends to borrow clothes from her closed ones (and hold on to them more than she should). she'll show up to practice wearing her friend hyojoo's pants or one of jaeheon's hoodies. the members are used to seeing pieces temporarily stay in her wardrobe. 

【 ✕ 】: the kpop group she likes the most, musically speaking, is dreamcatcher, she can't get enough of the rock influence. based on online content, she thinks the girls seem fun and that they're great people because of their support towards the lgbt community. she'd be thrilled to meet them.

【 ✕ 】: harin tends to make up words to best express what she wants to say. like, she once called someone the "cathartic-est" member of mode. hell if anyone knows what that means.

【 ✕ 】: when she's feeling particularly insecure or obsessive about practice, she'll practically lock herself in a recording booth and practice her singing. she also does this with dancing but less because she's naturally not as good at it and it only makes her feel worse. she then proceeds to feel bad about not practicing her dancing more.

【 ✕ 】: she tries to do little things for the group like wake up early and make breakfast for everyone or check if anyone is leaving their stuff in the van. it makes her feel good, genuinely good for an instant, and it makes her feel less guilty in retrospect. just a little.

BACKGROUND (N.)

❝ you'll soon realize that there's something that is so much more than this. ❞

/ / /

harin spent her childhood in a world of endless possibilities and bedtime stories. mom and dad were pretty busy working but never busy enough not to pass on to harin an appreciation for the little extraordinary things in life.

she grew up increasingly more capable to differenciate fantasy from reality, miracles from good luck, pipe dreams from goals. she was, unfortunately, one of the kids who had to hear the tooth fairy wasn't real from one of her classmates, but put that aside and you'll find that the only unrealistic wish harin had was for something incredible to happen to her just like a main character from a story.

soon enough, books, songs, movie franchises and tv shows provided all the wish fulfillment she could possibly want. the chois became regulars at the movie theatre, an eager harin by their side, eyes sparkling as she awaited the latest star wars movie or the most recent installment in the harry potter saga. the only downside to it was that it didn't do much to lower her expectations of life —although it did improve her vocabulary and expand her knowledge, it proved there's no such thing as a sense of adventure in becoming a civil servant or a doctor.

they moved to seoul when she was sixteen and the dreamer in her had weakened. just like any other teenager, she wanted to hang out with her friends, blast her music, watch dramas at home and finish high school in peace, no sudden (and possibly exciting) changes. harin abhorred every part of moving, so, as far as the reason for it goes, she only remembers it had to do with her mom's job. nonetheless, it couldn't be stopped.

she wonders what would have happened had they stayed in goyang. wonders what her life would have been like if a dm scout hadn't approached her on her way back home and awakened something inside of her. harin vividly remembers a sensation akin to getting splashed by a huge wave of childlike anticipation. she pictured being an idol, going on stage in front of hundreds of people, traveling the country and, at best, the world with a team. harin thinks that in all of us lives a desire to do something extraordinary. she swears that in that moment, as it began to get dark in that busy seoul street, she knew what her something extraordinary was.

/ / /

TALENTS :  

VOCAL: yeji, itzy (yujin, izone)

RAP: heejin, loona (jennie, blackpink)

DANCE: heejin, loona (yujin, izone)

TRAINING YEARS : two years at dm entertainment

TRAINING : perhaps it was a bit optimistic of harin to jump headfirst into training, but not bat crazy. she was no stranger to dancing around with her friends (even took classes during middle school) or courageously volunteering to sing in a school performance, which admittedly wasn't the best preparation she could have obtained, but that's what training is for, isn't it? to turn anyone into an idol. where some people have a lifelong passion for singing or dancing that leads them to a trainee contract, she only truly had a love for music and a deep resolve not to live an ordinary life. enter long nights at the practice rooms, persistent instructors and a natural ability to learn rather quickly and jaws began to drop because of her improvement.

she'd only trained for a year and she was already getting pre-debut opportunities. if they hadn't told her otherwise, harin wouldn't have seen anything special about, she would have thought that it was standard procedure. it wasn't, but they looked at her —young, pretty and bursting with potential— and saw the newest, shiniest weapon in their arsenal. dramas were thrown at her left and right, ads and photoshoots too. add another year of training and she was a magnetic performer, a good rapper, stable singer and decent dancer. the crowning jewel of their trainee roster, they looked at harin and saw a star.

/ / /

PREDEBUT EXPERIENCE :

2017, LOVE YOURSELF HIGHLIGHT REEL, her first public appearance is through a bts video. for lack of a better word, she's scared less. they say it's good exposure, which is obviously correct, but why her? yeah, they're casting young girls, yeah, she supposes she's not disgusting to look at on camera, but she could embarrass herself so bad, why did no one think about that? she's too afraid to even say it out loud until she hears about her small role and the general frame of things and she is fascinated. harin loves stories, loves movies, and this time she gets  to be in the core of one by acting. she's scared less, but she's also standing in front of some of the most successful idols ever and shooting a scene.
she watches the video twice when it comes out. oh my god, her first public appearance is through a bts video.

2018, ATEEN, her next predebut endeavor is a full-fledged webdrama. harin paces back and forth before every script reading, but once they begin shooting the scenes, she can't get enough of the experience.

2018, BAD PAPA, out of everything she did pre-debut, harin holds this experience closest to her heart. she was amazed when she heard she was going to participate in another drama and even more so when she attended the script reading: the story was so unlike cliche dramas and it dealt with important topics. she gave filming her all every time she was featured in a scene and watched every episode.

2018, AVAJAR CF, harin gets the opportunity to do a photoshoot with a cosmetic brand. "they should start paying you," says the manager who drives her to the studio. she laughs in response.

HERE, if anything else seems appropriate, feel free to add it in.

/ / /

SCANDALS :

MODE'S HARIN GETTING SPECIAL TREATMENT?  it was unavoidable. there's blogs and articles galore. there's screencap upon screencap of harin getting distinct outfits and hairstyles to perform in. then, they list off all of her solo or special activities: mc-ing, photoshoots, variety, even her pre-debut stuff. she's ceo jung's daughter, they say. god, she wishes. 

LOVE INTEREST : park jaeheon, actor

FACECLAIM : rocky from astro 

BIRTHDATE & AGE : april 20, 1999 (20)

PERSONALITY : introverted, logical, doubtful, honest, observant, pessimistic, curious, blunt, loyal

jaeheon is one of the world's curious observers. he appears pretty approachable and he doesn't struggle to make friends, but he naturally keeps to himself. it's through spontaneous comments that people find out how much attention he happens to pay to things: he has a knack for remembering people's texting mannerisms or which hand they use for certain tasks. 

fascinated by the way in which things work, they way in which patterns repeat themselves, he has an affinity for understanding things in an intellectual level more than a personal or emotional one. although he sometimes struggles to find the right words to express his thoughts, his style of communication is logical and honest. jaeheon is past the point of resorting to polite lies and beating around the bush, but he often gets caught up in his need for transparency and he'll recognize that he was brutally honest if you point it out to him.

jaeheon is no optimist. he has a very unfortunate tendency to think the worst of things and prepare for impending worst-case scenarios, which generates a lot of trouble with him when he can't keep his thoughts at bay. he's gone through many instances in his life in which his negativity has led him through a downward spiral, stomping all over his self confidence and motivation.

interestingly enough, jaeheon harbors as much self-doubt as he does commitment. just look at how he's fought to have a career in acting all these years. even if he's confined to only relatively good roles because idol-actors are the ones casted in high-rating dramas nowadays, he will most definitely go down with this ship. at least he makes a really good friend because of this. jaeheon is very attentive, he won't turn his back on the people he cares about and they can always trust him to be honest with them.  

BEFORE : harin breaks the silence in the van, both of them awkwardly pretending to be occupied with something else on the way to the set for ateen. she wonders how she's never seen this guy before —she probably has a better chance of becoming best friends with someone in aleis than she does having a full conversation with one of the actors at dm.

("you've shot many things before?" "not that many, but yeah, kind of." "oh, fun. this is the first drama i'm in, any advice?" "i'm still new enough to this myself, but i guess nerves aren't that bad. most of the time, you get so caught up on what you actually have to do that you get nervous after the fact. it's... weird.").

everyone in the cast gets to know each other during breaks, the two of them included. she doesn't realize that she's friendlier to him than he is to her, harin thinks things are going smoothly and that they're hopefully on the way to being friends. however, they stay in that uncomfortable in-between and harin notices it. every time she thinks they've entered the friend stage, jaeheon does something to make her hesitate. the way she sees it, she has two possible choices: cut her losses and resort to being co-workers (do less) or push a little bit more every time to end the car ride and on-set awkwardness (do more). harin is no quitter (not yet), so, implementing her personal brand of subtle effort, she tries a little bit more and a little bit harder every time.

for some reason, he cracks. she succeeds: they're friends now. the rides on the way to filming and on the way back get more comfortable and fun. there comes a point where they begin to hang out together in their free time. admittedly, they're joined by the main cast and other friendly people playing smaller roles. 

("you know what filming reminds me of? zip lining. you have doubts at first, but you're also excited, and then when it's over you want to go again". this is how she finds out jaeheon is afraid of heights. he's lucky he's not a character in a work of fiction and the plot doesn't force him to face his clichè fear). 

mission accomplished, harin thinks. by the time they've wrapped up filming, they hang out with and without the ateen cast.

LOVE STORY : harin becomes impossibly busy as mode gears up for debut, but that doesn't halt their friendship. she meets jaeheon after what seems like an eternity after promotions end. after all the attention and the pressure surrounding her debut, it feels nice to be around someone who doesn't expect anything from her, who she can just be herself with. the same thing happens next comeback: she's too busy to hang out until they've wrapped up promotions and they're back and kicking it again. 

(they share a bag of chips as they walk. "oh, ," he says and begins to laugh.
"what?"
"you can have chips on a diet, right? as in, these aren't that many. you're not gonna get in trouble."
her eyes widen and she laughs too, "i have no idea," she says.
"in that case..." is his excuse to take the chips from her.
she snatches the bag away and it crinkles loudly. "what i meant was i can totally have chips. it's a very particular diet, like an un-diet."
"a what?")  

the more comebacks go by, the more harin grows into her role as the center of mode (the more she shrinks under it). the members are no longer to be trusted, competition and jealousy prevail and she no longer has it in her to cultivate the relationship she wants to have with them. she's perfectly fine one day, cold and snappy the next day. it pushes people away. she feels like a horrible person. 

their encounters are, more than anything, few and brief, but jaeheon can still tell that she's going through something. he met harin when he was going through those moments of being completely done with everything: the friends he'd made in the industry were all becoming different people after debut, his parents had reached peak impatience after years of acting not working out and he'd recently left his previous company because dm promised an acting debut, so he had to adjust to the new management and not having his old friends by his side. out of sheer friendliness, harin somehow still tried to be nice to his bitter and help him get out of his head and take things more lightly. he feels like he owes it to her to be there for her, maybe even help her out of her ty place like she helped him. 

he's one of the only people who can convince harin that she's not terrible, just as she's not mode's center or a breakout star when they're together —she's herself. she likes that a lot, especially because that self can slip away from her quite easily these days. too easily.

managers and members alike are aware that they're friends. they receive warning after warning to be careful, to steer clear of getting spotted in public, to avoid any and all dating rumors. harin doesn't want any scandals to threaten her popularity so she's as cautious as possible, but, if she's being honest, dating isn't a scenario that management should be worried about. they don't see each other that way.

("yeah, i trained with him too," he says.
it seems very weird to harin, the degree to which people are connected in the industry. "huh. so you know everyone. that's kind of crazy."
"not everyone, but companies would do this very funny thing and take me in for acting but place me in the idol trainee lessons because they could, so i know most of the guys from '99 and some 98 too. they're pretty different from when i met them though. oh, and a decent amount of 96 liners. i have no idea why but they usually like me." 
"weird flex but okay," she replies with the utmost pride in herself. she saw the opportunity and she took it. "a fan explained that to me in vlive, know what it means?")  

then, one day, she shows up last to practice. not in the best of moods, she interacts a bit stiffly with the members. she steps out of the practice room to refill her water bottle and sees jaeheon. he's having a short meeting with some of the other actors, he says. it's the simplest most mundane interaction, but harin feels ten times better and she returns to her position in the choreography with a hint of a smile. it's not a big surprise as much as it is a very firm realization: she's head over heels for him. and this is not new, she probably has been for a while.  this is definitely something management (and she) should be concerned about (she should be very concerned. actually, she already is).

ENDING : honestly i'm gonna leave this one up to you because i need to turn this in asap but please let them be happy i am Begging.

LOWCATION (A)

❝ it must be hard, being the best. you're not allowed to stop. you can only be beaten, and you're too proud to ever lose. ❞

COMMENTS : so. mayhaps harin is a bit complex (read: angsty) but she has potential !! to be fluffy and grow as a person, i promise she lends herself to more than angst. also i'm so sorry this is another main rapper app you didn't ask for (i feel like her character concept could still work for the visual plotline but it was too late to switch you feel me) and it took way too long to finish and i don't know what my point is here i'm just trying to get it in before 12 (in my timezone. i hope it's not twelve for you yet. pls don't let it be twelve)

SCENE REQUESTS : 

【1】: --- i promise i'll add some soon

【2】: --- i really do

【3】: --- all i have for now is i want 2 see somyeong and harin's heartfelt talk. if somyeong's app gets out of wiphell of course. and jangmixharin. and mihoxharin and you know what i mean.

PASSWORD: probably maze at the beginning (harin would die for that little plot twist/p.o.v change in the lyrics at the end), then feel special and hann. there are too many good songs man i don't even know