Hello!

It is me again, the writer that writes the foreword and description of new potential stories before disappearing into thin air! 

I came back to say, I am once again, procrastinating don't have enough inspiration time to write. 

I don't know if its the anxiety that I will never write good stories to share, or afraid that by having SHINee as the face claims in my stories, will affect how I write. And honestly, at this rate, I really don't know. Because I really miss writing, and because of this time around, I really spread myself very thinly in my 2nd year of college. I got into a business club, and became a member with roles, (basically I'm in a team with 11 other humans trying to run the club and it has been stressful), I joined multiple competitions, and I mean, multiple ones. I was never a good kid that joined competitions prior to this college. I've always been selected to go for competitions that I don't wish that I be a part of. Somehow, this year I decided that I should just grab whatever opportunity I can get, and joined 4 new competitions and the due dates for 3 of the competitions are really close to each other. Thankfully, my team for 1 of the competition has been shortlisted and we are going to be on our way to hopefully present to the judges and hopefully make our idea successful and make it to the finals! The other competitions are also pending/not yet happened, so I really hope that everything will go smoothly. 

However, being in college is really weird, I try my best to study well yet I don't score a good enough GPA. I graduated with a 3.6 GPA from my "pre-college" previously, and even though I know I came to this college that is very well-known, I actually scored lesser than 3 for my first year of college. That really scared me because I would still want to go for further studies, I don't want to not be able to further study just because my GPA is horrible. (Probably that's why I ended up joining multiple competitions, at least it means that I would be able to show that if my academics isn't like what it used to be, I am active in putting myself forward, it is possible and good, right?)

Even as I am writing this blog post now, trying to sort out my thoughts, I am actually supposed to revise for a midterm that holds 15% of my overall grade. Oddly enough, I don't have the feels to even start revising, because it all seems overwhelming. 

Anyways, one thing for sure, I AM WRITING AGAIN!

Hahahaha. Yes, I am writing again, just because I am facing a break up losing a friend that I liked his company. And it reminded me why did I create this account on AFF, because when I am here, I am able to express myself, and express my sadness fully without feeling like I am being judged, because no one knows who I am in real life, or, do we all?

Well, I guess I just like to turn my sadness into words, at least that means it will not hurt my brain, making me unable to fall asleep at night. At least if I word my feelings and thoughts out and put it into a creative twist, it makes me happy. Even if no one reads it, and people view the story and exit my profile, at least I am doing something that I truly enjoy. 

So, well, no promises that all the pending (and unlisted!) stories will all be up by the end of this year (let's not set the bar too high. I disappeared on this account for almost a full year because college really made me so busy.) But for sure! New prompt(s) would be up [already have 2 unlisted ones that I updated]. The reason why many of my stories are still not updated is that I don't wish to update a chapter with 500 words and call it a day, and disappear for the next century. If I was a reader, I would hate myself too. That's why I have been trying to finish at least 80% of the plot in order to update all at once, maybe like focusing on one story for a month, and slowly update them, or update them all at once and turn everything into a one shot. I don't know, I don't have any strict plans on how I would update the stories, yet. 

But if you managed to read until here, thank you for letting someone release all the pent up stress that have been boiling in the mind. I wish everyone is healthy and happy and remember to be happy and things will pass, even if things get rough at times. Good luck and see you soon! ♥️