So, I know this should not be typing this blog post because this is just me giving myself an excuse to not update what i wrote but i thought i should write this so that i will hopefully feel motivated to update anything soon.

As you can see, as of now i have 4 un-finished stories.

1. Promises are meant to be broken
2. Just kiss me before it's all too late
3. Loving someone hurts
4. Do you ever get reminded of me?

The past two months so happened to be my college break so i tried to stay motivated to write the one that I have not touched in so long, which was promises are meant to be broken. And it was working well, i could write probably... 1000 words? (maybe more. i didn't check the exact number) that i thought that was a good improvement, since i though that i could write a bit after the whole breakdown i was suffering in my life. But somehow, i lost interest again. I lost the motivation. I had a writers block and it lasted for a few weeks, and before i knew it, i was going to go back to college and now that college has started (it just started this week) i realise my workload is fully packed until next feb, which is horrible. I wrote the prompt for this story back in october'17, and my procrastination allowed me to write it a year later to not finish it, i thought i could finish this, but i guess i couldn't. the thing about this is that i have the rough plot layout all written down but when i try to write, it doesn't sound right, it doesn't sound professional. All my stories that i've written looks like someone that written it back in 2010 where 500 words per chapter was "OMGG" matter. I read so many new and amazing writers and seeing their way of writing is so mesmerising and then looking at mine? it looks like a 5 year old wrote it. 

However, i will try to write and complete that soon, how soon? i really can't promise. my workload is really very heavy and it is actually taking a toll on my body and my mental state. 

As for the other 3 stories, i may or may not delete them. i will have to preview what i initially wrote for the prompt and figure out if i can fit them into my current schedule and if it makes sense to me, because i had also just been through a break up this year so i wrote those prompts during/after my breakup-sad phase which means that the things mentioned might be very similar, so if it is, i might merge them into one or ... something. i don't know, honestly. i do wish i did not write them all on impulse and letting people feel upset because its those "yea ill write a foreword and never update this fic ever again!" i don't want to be like that, it just doesn't go well with me. 

so, tl:dr, i am procrastinating and not finishing up my uncompleted stories and i might delete some. we will see. 

i'm just sorry i try to learn and trying to do what i like, but not good at. I just don't want people to be disappointed in me, i have enough of those people real life, i hope there isn't much here. hha, who am kidding?

if you manage to see this then uh, thank you because this is my first time writing a blog post on aff and i honestly have no clue how it works. i wish you have a nice day ahead and if you have not heard it yet, you have done well today, no matter whatever you do, or whatever you think, someone else do truly loves you and dotes on you more than you do to yourself. if you want a listening ear, you may always drop a message here on my aff profile, i might not reply fast, (i will try to login every other weekend as a form of motivation but it might not really be accurate) but i will try my best. good luck in whatever you are doing, be happy, and remember to hydrate yourself and love yourself!