I thought I had a friend. 

We didn't talk much, but when we talked it was always great. It felt like we had a bunch of stuff in common and it was interesting to talk to each other. 

I met this friend when they studied abroad in my country. I always had to put in the effort to ask them to meet up, but they were very busy, so it didn't matter all that much.

We added each other on Facebook to keep in touch, and we met up again when I was studying abroad in their home country. 

I thought we were friends. 

Even though I had to initiate everything, every time we talked or met up. 

Now they have deleted their Facebook, and I have no way of contacting them. 

At first I thought maybe I bothered them too much, because I get too excited about meeting new people and being friends. But after thinking more, I realized that they probably didn't even think about me. 

I didn't matter to them at all. 

I wonder if it's worse to be despised, or just not cared about. 

Anyway, it makes me feel not-too-great, and I'm not sure what to do with those feelings. It feels immature to be angry, especially since it probably wasn't personal on their part, but I do feel angry. 

We're not friends anymore. We were never really friends. And that kinda , I guess.