It's almost funny how whenever I want to give up, experiencing a major slump with myself and everything, I fangirl a new group and it's a new inspiration once again. It's the third time that it happened. This time, I got to know mamamoo. And I think they'll become my greatest inspiration.

My first major slump was when I got appointed as an executive officer for our department's mother organization. I was so down because I want to become the theater guild head but can't because the bigger picture needs me and there's no one else anymore. GIRLS' GENERATION helped me through it and showed me I can still pursue my passion even if I'm becoming busier each day.

My second major slump was when I know I won't graduate yet again. All my friends already graduated and I can't face the lower years who (once/used to) looked up to me. I felt like . IDEAL OF IDOL helped me to just brush it off and gave me back my confidence again.

My latest slump was this year. I graduated finally. But I know in myself that I'm still not ready to face the real world. I'm becoming a burden in this house and I feel like my parents hate me for some reason. I don't know but I never felt their love in the first place but this time, I can feel their hate instead of feeling the absence of love. The depression I feel these days is much more than I felt the past years. I'm talking less and less. I don't even laugh out loud like I used to when watching funny videos. This time, it's the hardest. But I got to know MAMAMOO. Not that I didn't know them before. I've always knew them. Since 2016 when I was just a year old in kpop. I was just focused on my current group that time which was SNSD. I think I was really depressed that I can't help but get even more sad watching my past two groups. They're not whole anymore so I needed to uplift myself. And I chanced upon that choreo video of gogobebe and fell in love with Wheein's head banging. I'm really into dancers way more than singers that's why they used to be only appealing to me as really talented singers and I left it at that and not really fangirled. I didn't know they're killer dancers in their own ways. I watched the whole choreo video and fell in love with them all. And it's funny cause I actually know all the members and I already liked them. Just the information didn't sink in my head and I brushed them off every single time I chanced upon them like how I got through my ty relationship while singing egotistic and I even said "as expected of mamamoo" and "mamamoo did that". I wasn't a fan then. But I have their whole discography in my phone and even used the whole discography as my lullaby playlist. Now, instead of moping around and feeling lost, abandoned and worthless, I'm getting uplifted and inspired by each member of mamamoo and mamamoo as a whole. I can even relate with them in so many ways like how my friends and I are also composed of 4 people and we're bestfriends by twos. And how I can relate with leadernim being the leader but also the bullied one (but still respected.) Though, I'm not the oldest in our group. And how our height differences are also similar. It's just that it's 1 cm in mamamoo while it's 1 inch in our group. I still have a long way to go with mamamooso I can call myself their real fan. I'm a fan now but I feel like I still have a long way to go to know many things about them. But for now, they're the reason I'm not giving up this life and I'm inspired to spark my dying dreams and used to be passion in writing and composing music and also to keep my fire burning in writing stories and poetries. It's not too early nor too late to say that I'm thankful to them and that I love them sincerely.