˚°◦ #HUANG LIHUA IS ON EDGE! [open for collabzz]
LIHUA
IS ON EDGE
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from the beginning, lihua was never like the rest of the kids in namseon. she's always been different--with the language she spoke and the cultural differences that ran through her veins. bitter korean grandmas hated her chinese family, but she was happy.
then her father ran away, and she became evidently different than the kids at her school. she could tell, because they giggled about it behind her back. it was like a witch hunt--humans always have to find one person to blame and make fun of to make themselves feel better about their own lives. in this case, lihua and her family were the witches. silently to herself, lihua wondered if her father cared enough about her to consider what would happen to her because of his actions. she had her doubts.
lihua finds herself writing to prevent herself from crying in front of her younger brother who she vowed to protect. writing became her escape, but it was something she couldn't explore when she had to take care of a home her parents left behind. teachers in namseon don't care for the student who's constantly sleeping in their class. never once did someone consider her situation. never once did someone in namseon wonder if she could shoulder the burden of being her brother's mother, father, and older sister.
she was misunderstood, as most rebellious high school students were. but she didn't care. she didn't care until she told her homeroom teacher she wanted to go to college and he straight laughed in her face. so she blinks back tears and smiles bitterly while he tells her it's impossible for a lazy student like her to even make it to any university. she goes home and makes dinner and cleans the living room as usual, wondering if college really was such an impossible dream to have.
FULL NAME huang, lihua
NICKNAMES
JIE what liwei calls her. short for jiejie, meaning "older sister".
HUA just the shortened version of her name. she prefers to just go by lihua.
MOM liwei or her friends might call her this occassionally since she always acts like a mom.
HUA just the shortened version of her name. she prefers to just go by lihua.
MOM liwei or her friends might call her this occassionally since she always acts like a mom.
DATE OF BIRTH 30, october (17)
BIRTHPLACE namseon, s.k.
HOMETOWN namseon, s.k.
ETHNICITY chinese.
LANGUAGES
CANTONESE [55%] grew up speaking this at home.
KOREAN [85%] lived in korea her entire life, and is more fluent in it than her native tongue.
KOREAN [85%] lived in korea her entire life, and is more fluent in it than her native tongue.
FACECLAIM clc's elkie
BACKUP wjsn's meiqi.
APPEARANCE smooth, creamlike skin catches your eye when you first glance at huang lihua. then it's her sleepy-looking brown eyes and the dangly earrings that hang from her ears that her brother forced upon her. you notice she's not wearing makeup, besides a light lipgloss. recently, she's dyed her hair a deep brown that the teachers seem to hate. her slim fingers brush her long locks behind her ear, and you can see the small scar on her left index finger knuckle from when she knicked at it with a knife when cooking. she's not particularly tall, probably around 163 cm. she's thin for her height though, weighing in at 51kg. you look away, but you can't seem to forget the way she smiled warmly at you when she caught your eye.
STYLE lihua is rather frugal. she doesn't care much for fashion, so liwei is always the one who alters how she wears her uniform, so at least how she dresses isn't something she's made fun of at school for. her undershirt is buttoned to the very top, the ribbon tied neatly. her skirt is just short enough so the teachers don't hound her for it, but she isn't made fun of for wearing it long. the only thing she personally contributes is the occassional pair of tights or knee high socks to keep her legs warm. she's usually seen wearing the same pair of sneakers, though liwei goes out of his way to buy her a new pair every semester so she isn't deemed as unfashionable.
on the weekends, she prefers comfort over style. once again, liwei comes along and decides upon himself he needs to style her outfits. still, she's usually seen in just a hoodie and skinny jeans. it's liwei that throws accessories and such to spice it up a bit.
TRAITS infp: the mediator, hufflepuff, scorpio sun.
PERSONALITY
HARDWORKING, LOYAL, PASSIONATE, SOFTHEARTED, RESERVED, EMOTIONAL, SELFLESS, INDECISIVE, PASSIVE.
lihua is always known as the "mom" of the group no matter where she goes. she's the person to bring water and sandwiches to a group study session, and the girl who always carries bandaids, lotion, and hand sanitizer around. she even has some tangerines hidden away in her backpack somewhere she saves in case someone needs a snack. still, even though she's a mom, she has a personality of her own as well.
she has a tendency to put other people's needs over her own, especially when it comes to her friends and her brother. it's the biggest reason why she's neglected her own passions for so long. more than anything, lihua loves to write. it was something she could only do every once in a while, but she felt like if she spent too much time on herself she'd be being selfish. she works herself to the bone for others, but would rarely take more than a minute out of her day for herself.
lihua hates conflict more than anything. she's the type to sit back and watch it happen while constantly wondering if she should step in. of course, she never does, and instead she sits still and panics internally. as a result, she always feels guilty. she can never make decisions on her own, and always requires the feedback of others. she doesn't trust herself enough, as every decision she would make it based off of her messy emotions. she cries easily, she gets angry easily, and she never knows what to do. her life is run by her turbulent emotions.
overall, she's soft. and she cares way too much for others--much more than herself. but she's still just as much of a child--if not more--than the brother she babies. if anything, the fact that she had to grow up so fast probably helped contribute to the fact that she has no idea what to do now that she has time to focus on herself.
TIMELIME
[AUG 16, 1998] lihua's parents elope to namseon, korea to escape disapproving family. they're in love.
[OCT 30, 2001] huang lihua is born.
[SEP 23, 2002] huang liwei is born.
[AUG 16, 1998] lihua's parents elope to namseon, korea to escape disapproving family. they're in love.
[OCT 30, 2001] huang lihua is born.
[SEP 23, 2002] huang liwei is born.
[JAN 31, 2006] lihua's first memory of her father storming out after a fight with her mom.
[AUG 13, 2007] lihua's father disappears.
[AUG 22, 2007] liwei asks where daddy is. lihua stays quiet when her mom tells them, "i don't know".
[SEP 23, 2007] lihua and liwei celebrate liwei's fifth birthday alone. her father doesn't come back, and her mom spends the day crying in her room.
[SEP 23, 2007] lihua and liwei celebrate liwei's fifth birthday alone. her father doesn't come back, and her mom spends the day crying in her room.
[OCT 30, 2007] lihua's mother teaches her how to cook and clean. they don't celebrate her seventh birthday.
[DEC 15, 2007] lihua writes a letter to her father that she doesn't send. she starts a collection and the envelopes pile up in the corner of her desk.
[FEB 18, 2008] liwei comes home crying and asks lihua why the neighborhood kids said their parents don't love them. lihua hugs her brother and tells him, "i don't know".
[DEC 15, 2007] lihua writes a letter to her father that she doesn't send. she starts a collection and the envelopes pile up in the corner of her desk.
[FEB 18, 2008] liwei comes home crying and asks lihua why the neighborhood kids said their parents don't love them. lihua hugs her brother and tells him, "i don't know".
[MAY 1, 2009] lihua cooks meals for her and her brother while her mom works. she does the chores around the house before her mom comes home.
[SEP 9, 2010] lihua is laughed at at school. "mommy told me her dad ran away because her mom was sleeping around" "mommy told me her mom doesn't come home because she works as a e" "mommy told me not to talk to her because her mom's a--"
[SEP 11, 2010] lihua comes home to a crying liwei, and she hugs him and tells him she at least has him.
[SEP 12, 2010] lihua decides to dedicate her life to making her brother's life happy.
[NOV 8, 2013] mother transfers to a company in seoul, leaving her children in namseon. before she leaves, she pats lihua on the head and tells her she loves her for the first time in 7 years. lihua cries.
[DEC 23, 2013] lihua and liwei are living alone. their mother sends them an envelope with enough money for the next few months.
[MAR 3, 2014] lihua writes her last letter to her father. she starts a journal with her writing.
[MAR 3, 2014] lihua writes her last letter to her father. she starts a journal with her writing.
[AUG 26, 2016] lihua enters high school, and the rumors follow her. now, the girls murmur "her mom ran away with another man and left her behind"
[SEP 4, 2016] lihua joins the theatre club during her first year at high school to try and act as someone other than herself.
[SEP 4, 2016] lihua joins the theatre club during her first year at high school to try and act as someone other than herself.
[DEC 2, 2016] lihua can't adapt to the stress of keeping up her grades and taking care of everything at home so liwei lives a regular life. she starts sleeping during classes.
[JAN 12, 2017] lihua's grades drop drastically until she's barely passing. but liwei is still smiling, so the new lazy student reputation she's seemed to have adopted doesn't bother her.
[JAN 12, 2017] lihua's grades drop drastically until she's barely passing. but liwei is still smiling, so the new lazy student reputation she's seemed to have adopted doesn't bother her.
LIFESTYLE
[MON, JAN 14, 2019]
"liwei was being surprisingly difficult this morning. when i tried to wake him up for school he was acting all spoiled, saying 5 more minutes and everything. it's been a long time since he acted like a kid, it's almost refreshing, though it was frustrating at the time. we both barely made it to school, and i almost forgot the lunch i packed for the both of us the night before. maybe i'm becoming more scatterbrained now that i'm getting older. today wasn't that bad though. i fell asleep in korean again as always, and the teacher threw a marker at me. he missed and hit the boy behind me lolol, stupid. as always, i left school the moment theatre club ended and i went to work at the little flower shop near our home. the grandma there is at least nice to me, if no one else in this town is. she gave me these orchids to take care of. i think i'll put them on the dining table. i came home and cooked a late dinner, and liwei helped me when my homework. i'm a bit embarrassed that my little brother has to help me, but he's always been really bright. i spent the rest of the night tidying up and studying until 3ish, and now here i am. i think i should fix my sleep schedule so i can stop falling asleep in class. i don't need to be so busy anymore, and liwei doesn't even need help with his homework anymore so that opens up more time for myself. anyhow, it's been a rather typical day. think i'll turn in early tonight and try not to sleep during class tomorrow."
TRIVIA
✨at school, you can usually find her sleeping in class or sleepily taking notes. she rarely speaks because she's tired. she always has this sleepy look in her eye as well.
✨works at a little flower shop down the road from her house part time after her club activities. she always gets flowers from the old lady that owns the place.
✨keeps two seperate journals. one is of her creative writing, and another is like a diary where she documents her days before she goes to bed.
✨though she isn't completely against the idea of love, she's a bit scared of it after what happened with her parents.
✨she has a "mom kit" in her backpack. it consists of: lotion, hand sanitizer, tampons, pads, crackers, bandaids, a black pen, mints, gum, and needle and thread. it's for herself, but also for others as well.
✨honestly, really bad at studying, which is why she has to spend so much time on each subject every night now.
✨the letters to her dad are hiding somewhere in a box in the back of her closet. kinda like "to all the boys i've loved before" but "to the dad that literally left me" lmao.
✨definitely uses her mom personality to hide her insecurities over her indecisiveness and the way she tries to hide from almost everything.
✨she's trying to act like this responsible adult when deep inside she has no idea who she is and what she's doing with her life.
✨to be honest, she really just wants to go to college to find herself. because god knows she can't do it in namseon, where everyone knows everybody.
✨if she makes it into college, she'd pursue journalism or creative writing.
✨has rarely acted a primary role in the theatre club. typically a side character, but has once played the female antagonist.
✨has occassionally helped write or alter the script for theatre when needed.
✨when she writes, she likes to listen to lo-fi or indie. when on public transpo or in a car, she likes listening to chinese music and wondering if her life would've been different if she and her brother were born in her parents' hometown.
✨works at a little flower shop down the road from her house part time after her club activities. she always gets flowers from the old lady that owns the place.
✨keeps two seperate journals. one is of her creative writing, and another is like a diary where she documents her days before she goes to bed.
✨though she isn't completely against the idea of love, she's a bit scared of it after what happened with her parents.
✨she has a "mom kit" in her backpack. it consists of: lotion, hand sanitizer, tampons, pads, crackers, bandaids, a black pen, mints, gum, and needle and thread. it's for herself, but also for others as well.
✨honestly, really bad at studying, which is why she has to spend so much time on each subject every night now.
✨the letters to her dad are hiding somewhere in a box in the back of her closet. kinda like "to all the boys i've loved before" but "to the dad that literally left me" lmao.
✨definitely uses her mom personality to hide her insecurities over her indecisiveness and the way she tries to hide from almost everything.
✨she's trying to act like this responsible adult when deep inside she has no idea who she is and what she's doing with her life.
✨to be honest, she really just wants to go to college to find herself. because god knows she can't do it in namseon, where everyone knows everybody.
✨if she makes it into college, she'd pursue journalism or creative writing.
✨has rarely acted a primary role in the theatre club. typically a side character, but has once played the female antagonist.
✨has occassionally helped write or alter the script for theatre when needed.
✨when she writes, she likes to listen to lo-fi or indie. when on public transpo or in a car, she likes listening to chinese music and wondering if her life would've been different if she and her brother were born in her parents' hometown.
✨her mom still sends enough money monthly for living expenses, but lihua is still frugal. she's trying to save up the money she makes from working for college.
RELATIONSHIPS
HUANG LIWEI
"JIE, YOU KNOW YOU CAN ASK ME FOR HELP ANYTIME, RIGHT? I'M OLD ENOUGH TO SUPPORT YOU NOW TOO."
her sunshine. she lives to make sure he's happy. honestly, she's trying to be everything for him. she wants to be his mom, dad, and older sister, so he never feels like he was lacking when growing up. still, she's been told by his friends that she spoils him too much. she personally thinks she doesn't spoil him enough. as long as he's smiling, she's smiling. but recently, he's told her she should focus more on herself now that she's a third year. he can help her out now too, so there's no need for her to baby him anymore. still, she's not sure she'll be able to leave him when the time comes. she's spent her entire life with him, and though he tries to act like an adult by taking some weight off her shoulders, he's not sure he'll be able to live without her either. she accomplished becoming his everything--mom, dad, and older sister. so if she ever does leave for college, he's not sure he'll be able to cope with the loneliness her absence will leave him with. [fc: lai guanlin]
CHOI SOOBIN
"LIHUA, I BOUGHT YOU THAT BOOK YOU LIKE! LIWEI AND I ARE GOING OUT TO EAT, DO YOU WANNA JOIN? MY TREAT."
liwei's best friend from childhood, and as a result, one of her's as well. he's around their house so often, lihua knows him almost as well as liwei does. though he's only a year younger, he tries to act 20 times more mature than she is in an attempt to impress her. he doesn't even try to hide his little crush on her. but still, sometimes she does find herself relying on him. like when he demands she tells him about her day and everything that went wrong so he can tell the people that talked bad about her to shut the hell up. he always manages to make her laugh and smile, so he must be good for something, at least. he's so bright and bubbly he lights up every room he enters. she just wonders what part of her he likes. the motherly part she tries to use to hide her real immature personality, or the vulnerable side she occassionally shows to him when liwei isn't around.
JO YUJIN
"LIHUA, DO YOU THINK THIS PART OF THE SCRIPT SOUNDS NATURAL? I THINK IT NEEDS TO BE CHANGED. I'LL LEAVE IT UP TO YOU."
lihua wonders if yujin secretly hates her. she's been in the theatre club as long as him, but he's much more passionate about it than she is. for her, it's just an escape. still, lihua contemplates whether or not she's an annoying existence to him. sometimes she can tell he's stressed, and she'll step over and offer to help quietly, but is that what he wants, or is she being a nuisance? she's heard of his history from gossipping aunties and nosy classmates, so she knows he can speak cantonese like her. sometimes when she's on the phone with liwei she wonders if he can understand her. even though they're in the same club together, and have been for three years, lihua has never really had a presence besides fulfilling her role and helping out here and there when it's needed. he's a member she hopes to get closer to, but now it's their third year and she's failed to do so each time. maybe this year can be different for her.
"I'M SORRY. YOU'RE JUST TOO SELFLESS."
despite her wariness of love, lee hajoon somehow found a way into her heart. they only dated for a semester, but he was her first and only boyfriend. she experienced all her firsts with him. people do, after all, say that one never forgets their first love. not that lihua can forget hajoon. he's in the same club as her, and even if he wasn't, his name is always on everyone's lips--just how he likes it. she remembers when it was just the two of them, and she'd run her fingers through his hair as he fiddled with his phone. maybe she just liked having someone need her, and he liked having someone around to always love him, but something attracted them to each other, and even now, lihua finds herself looking his way even if it hurts her heart. they were complete opposites in every possible aspect. each time he meets her eyes she remembers the soft way he'd smile just for her when no one else was around.
"why?" she had asked quietly after he quietly suggested a break up.
"i just can't anymore," he responded quickly. "you're too kind."
kind. she was always kind. especially to hajoon who was known to be anything but kind. she ignored the tears that pricked at her eyes when she realized she'd no longer be able to run up to him in the halls and hug him anymore, or have him rest his head in her lap, or even have him insistently tickle her sides just to see her laugh. her brain was spinning with the "real" reason he was breaking up with her. her reputation, her clinginess, her inexperience, her jealousy--she didn't know. but she'd been staring at him for over a minute now. so she took a deep breath and pushed her selfish desire to beg him to stay aside, before flashing him a weak smile.
"okay." she whispered, her voice cracking. "let's break up."
occasionally, liwei will hand her a snack that she knows is from hajoon, and she'll contemplate texting him to say thank you. instead, she makes awkward eye contact with him when she catches him staring at her during practices. even liwei says he's tired of her moping around, but she can't help it. she can't just forget her first love so easily, especially when he's acting like he wasn't the one who initiated their breakup. maybe she's still in love with him, but she would never say it out loud.
THIS IS NAMSEON HIGH SCHOOL'S PERSONAL QUESTIONNAIRE ABOUT THE FUTURE OF OUR THIRD YEARS. PLEASE MAKE SURE TO ANSWER EVERY QUESTION THOROUGHLY AND HONESTLY. FIRST, PLEASE ENTER INTRODUCE YOURSELF.
"i'm huang lihua, a third year at namseon high school."
AS STUDENTS ARE STUDYING FOR COLLEGE ENTRACE EXAMS AND PREPARING FOR GRADUATION, DO YOU HAVE PLANS TO GO TO COLLEGE YOURSELF?
her hands pause over the keyboard once she's finished reading the question. "i have plans. i've had plans, but circumstances have made my highschool life difficult, and my transcript isn't looking too good. but i'd still like to go to college to secure my future, so i'm studying very hard."
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO IN THE FUTURE? WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 10, 15 YEARS?
"i want to be a writer, or a journalist. anything that allows me to write and use my ability to manipulate words as i please. in 10-15 years...hopefully i'll be able to financially support myself and be chasing my dreams still. though, i wouldn't be too optimistic."
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT SCHOOL? IS IT STRESSFUL OR ARE YOU OKAY?
she contemplates whether she should lie on this questionnaire, but the introduction passage at the top of the page nags at her to be honest. "every morning i wake up and dread going to school. teachers don't ask me about my situation and assume things about me, and my classmates still believe the rumors that were spread about me since elementary school. i can't escape this stupid town and the fact that everyone seems to know everything about each other. i hate it, i hate everything about this place with the exception of certain people." she stops and deletes everything she's typed out so far and replaces it with, "school's fine. i'm studying as hard as i can to make up for the times i didn't have the privillege to do so."
IT SAYS THAT YOU ARE CURRENTLY APART OF THE THEATER CLUB. WHY DID YOU JOIN?
lihua hesitates before typing her answer out slowly. "i wanted to be someone else besides myself and thought theater would help with that. that's all."
q&a
PLOT CHOSEN 002
COMMENTS yikes she ended up sadder than i wanted. that was very unintentional i apologize :') i didn't really have a set thought process when writing her, just an idea--so i hope it all makes sense ;;
SUGGESTIONS
✨someone's bleeding and lihua pulls out the mom kit lmao.
✨lihua studying during theatre practice and someone helping her bc she doesn't know wth she's doing
✨late night practices and just everyone lying on the stage and having deep talks :') my heart
✨someone's bleeding and lihua pulls out the mom kit lmao.
✨lihua studying during theatre practice and someone helping her bc she doesn't know wth she's doing
✨late night practices and just everyone lying on the stage and having deep talks :') my heart
USER INFO
indubutably / christine / seven.
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