sigh sorry i can only rant here because it's the only place where i can tbh but

lemme tell u this

even if it's painful

as long as my beloved is able to love someone instead of what she always do, which is run away

and as long as she can find someone who can be there to take care of her

then I don't mind even if it isn't me. 

Like, i thought it'll be excruciating but it's only a nagging pain. which is weird, because i'm usually so green with jealousy i look like elphaba but

for her I don't mind, i truly dont. as long as she can find someone to take care of her i really don't mind if it is not me.

love doesn't always have to be romantic anyway.

(although all this time i thought she might be it for me because she's the first one for me who doesn't make me want to run away)