Don't read If you simply don't care. I just needed to get this off my chest. 

Thanks, and plenty of love to those who decide to read about my feelings! <3

I promise to those who had to hear me cry about this all day, this should be the last you'll hear about it.

This morning I tried to give my (ex) boyfriend a hug and he didn't hug beack. He then said, "We need to talk later." He didn't smile, he couldn't even look at me till after he said it. 

I was scared and biting my nails the whole day cause I knew what was to come. My question is why couldn't he just grow some balls and tell me right then and there?! He was standing right next to me so it shouldn't have been hard. 

Later that day, he gave me a half smile and attemted to hug me, but it simply didn't feel right. I wasn't giddy and happy by his imbrace like I usually was. And the hug was basically him putting his hand on my shoulder from behind. Why didn't he tell me then? It would have saved me a lot more worrying!

I went to lunch and stress ate my food, and that was bad concidering the fact I've been trying to keep an eye on the scale so that wasn't good for me AT ALL.

They were dismissing the tables, his being released first. Everyone else was walking right out to the field outside, but he made a beline straight towards me. My heart started racing and my friends fell silent case they about the situation. He sat down next to me and oulled me into a tight imbrace saying the words that ended it all.

"Can we just be friends?" My eyes shot open and now I had a reason to cry.

"Yeah..." I said softley. He stood and my eyes fallowed him as he left the cafiteria. As soon as he was no longer in my sight, I broke down. We had been to gether since 7th grade. Sure we were a bit off and on, but we never dated anyone between the time.

What makes this break up so different you ask. Well, the other two times it was all my fault. The first time, we had been really good friends and decided to make it official, but it didn't feel right and it lasted about to days before I decided to end it. The second time, I thought I had feelings for another guy. I wasn't gonna get with this other guy, but something about not being loyal to him made me feel guilty. I didn't want to put him through pain so I broke up with him and cried for two days because I felt so bad.

This time he dumped me and he didn't have a good reason. I thought we would last this time round, but I don't want him back. He put me through too much pain today. Later that day, he approached me.

"Hey. Let me give you and explanation." Finally. A ing reason! This is what I thought. But I was still disappointed by his words.

"We don't talk eneough as a couple, and I know you can find someone better then me." ! The kind of explanation is that!!!

If we're not talking enough, let me know so I can make time for us. And even if I did find someone better, we would never have the connection I thought we had. Since 7th grade I've been with him and only him. I hugged him when I had the chance, held his hand when he was by my side. Cheered him on when he was feeling unincoraged and you want to end it with, "We don't talk enough."? You're not the guy I fell for in 7th grade and stayed by till now. Something's up and he couldn't tell me. He didn't have the balls to be honest with me about why.

I said it once before and I'll say it again. "I'll have to pull up my big girl jeans.....and get over it."