I think I might throw up.. from nervousness..

I'm so nervous that I'm unconciously munching on my girl scout cookies while my stomach is begging me to stop but I just keep eating lmao.

I'M SO NERVOUS TO GO TO SCHOOL ON MONDAY. YOU WANNA KNOW WHY?

okay, so last night, my brother was asking me, "Hey, you're in New Era right?"

(New Era is the name of a dance group at my school who are ing amazing, They're all asian obviously lol. And before New Era there was a popular group called Style Kingz and my brother was president of it. Then they let girls join so now they're called New Era.)

I replied,"No, I didn't join."

Then he was all confused and said,"What? Why? I thought you were in?"

Then I said ,"No, I didn't even go to any of their workshops to tryout."

Then he paused and said,"I'm going over to meet with them. I'll just tell them about you and you're in."

Then I instantly turned around and said,"WHAT?! NO NONO NUNUONONONOO. IT'S OKAY."

He said,"Why? Didn't you say you can pick up moves fast? If so then you're in."

Me,"Well.. I can... but.."

Brother,"Okay. Going now."

Then he walks out the door and I'm like FUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. NUNUNUNONONO NO ME GUSTA NOOOOO.

Three to four hours later he comes back home.

We were chillin in our movie room watching a movie I think and then suddenly he's all like. 

"Alright, I talked to Justin and said you wanted in. So just talk to Justin on Monday before he'll forget and he'll put you in New Era."

I jumped and instantly turned to him again and said,"WHAT?! YOU TOLD HIM I WANTED IN NO NONONON WHY!!"

Then he said,"Well yeah you're in now! You don't have to try out - well maybe - but yeah, basically you're in now. Make sure to talk to Justin on Monday, 'cause he's gonna forget soon."

ufkcukcufkccpucpuckucpuckckalfhdlfshlahfahlfhldhldcoajdj!!!!!!

WELL FOOSHIGGY.

I know I should be grateful and thank him a billion times and be happy I'm in New Era, since they're so... pro... BUT I AM NOT.

I am shy around people. I'm outgoing when I want to try and stuff and meet new people but New Era's just so freakin' intimidating. All the pro dancer asians are all close and bff's then there's me. Who doesn't talk to any of them at all on a daily basis. I know them, they know me, we say hi but we're not on the level of where I can just sit down with them at lunch and be like OMG GUYS I AM SO HUNGRY HLADJLSD HOW ARE YOU YEAH SO TODAYldhfal

No... no I cannot be around them... 

I don't want to say popular but okay. Yeah, they're "popular". Well known around school and school competitions. 

I'm... hmm.. average LOL. I don't wanna put myself in the asian group because they're called the asian group because it's where all the asians hang out -__-

They all hang by this wall at school and the school scarred it as the "asian wall" lmao. So racist and horrible but kind of funny.

SO YEAH. I HAVE TO TALK TO HIM TOMORROW. I CAN IMAGINE THE WHOLE ENTIRE SITUATION IN MY HEAD.

It's going to look exactly like this:

Me: *awkwardly walks up to the asian wall and taps on Justin's shoulder.

Justin: *turns around and eyes me up and down awkwardly. Hello?

Me: Uh, sup. So, my brother apparently talked to you yesterday night about me being in New Era?

*All the guys and girls in New Era quietly look over in our direction and whisper and talk about me.

Justin: OH YEAH! Yea yea yea, you're his lil sis?

Me: uhuh... *awkwardly smiles

Justin: Oh that's cool. Okay, so, yeah maybe after school you can come to our practice and try out.

Me: * ... Oh, okay then.

Justin: Yeah alright. *turns back around and faces his friends.

*Him and New Era probably discussing about their new crappy member (me)

T-T I JUST KNOW THEY'RE GONNA DO IT. I KNOOOW. 

I can't dance in front of people! Besides my friends, because what I dance to is kpop!
New Era doesn't in' listen to kpop! They listen to obviously groove, pop, hip-hop music. huhuhu.. ;___;

I listen to american music... barelyy... 

So... me going after school, or unless he's impatient, at lunch in front of them, to show a small choreo of my own and dance in front of them.. THEN I'M GONNA DIE. Because I at choreo making... I think of good moves in my head but I can't do them! 

And if I don't go and talk to Justin tomorrow on Monday... my brothers gonna question and me and be like I helped you and you didn't join! Are you too scared? and AHHHHHHHH.

WHHHHHHHHHHHHY.

WAE!?!!? WAEGURE?!?!?! WHAT DO I DO???! MY STOMACH HURTS EVEN MOOORE!!! ;_____; Dx

I want to be in New Era... just... the people in there... are... so intimidating... ><

It's hard for me to talk to them.... and in New Era you have to act like family and good friends but.... I CAN'T DO THAT WITH THEM UAHHHHHGHALKFHLKAFH!!!!!!!!!

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