basic profile.

me, me, and me. 

personality traits — Conniving, Ambitious, Conflicted, Merciless, Daring, Roguish, Extroverted, Unabashed

personality —

There is always something going on in Namil's head. Some sort of strategem. Some thought on how to make himself be the standout, the one who lives at the end, the final boy. Someone might at first see a guy with a boyish smile and eagerness to improve and do well. While that's not wrong in its entirety, it's also exactly what Namil wants you to think. He wants to think he's this boyish guy just happy to be there dancing and performing, happily listening to what people tell him and taking in the critiques. But under that is a guy with strong ambition and drive. He plays up the image because he thinks it gives him the advantage when he does launch his strategems. Namil is always thinking about what his next few moves will be. Sometimes so much so, he misses on the moments right in front of him that would, arguably, be more gratifying and bring him more happiness.

Since Namil wants to succeed and make something great of himself, he's always looking for the next advantage. If that means befriending the one guy no one else seems to like because it means he can learn something new or gain an advantage, then he'll do it. Be very careful during competition with what Namil says to you. His motives aren't always the most clear and it's very hard to trust him completely even when he's being genuine. There's one too many times where you will turn and he is already moved on to the next best thing. There's something very roguish and scoundrel about how he acts. While he appreciate the rules are there for a reason, he also is daring and confident enough to do his own thing if he thinks his purposes will be better served by the action. He is also singley unashamed of what he does. Sure, if you end up on the bad end of it, it for you. But Namil isn't going to lie about it and pretend he totally didn't just do that. It's not about confidence: it's about being who you are without fail and not worrying about what others think.

He's not all bad though. His roguish habits, while conniving, can come off as charming when paired with his extroversion and ease at being around people. He can be good company. Also if he values you enough to bring you along with his scheme? You've got a solid friend at your back. And it gets a little harrowing when you find yourself being pulled along by the arm by him because he is eager to have you in his plans.

But to those who get in his way: watch out. Namil missed out on a chance before and he's not about to do it again. If his only way to his goal is blocked by you, you have two options: he will go through you or you better get out of the way. It's not aggressive: it's cold methodical. He shows little mercy to others, and also doesn't expect it in return. Keep up or get left behind. He can't afford to be overshadowed or left behind, and you shouldn't accept it either. (Should anyone show him actual concern and attempt to slow down for him...it will genuinely baffle him).

But beneath the charms and strategems and take no prisoner attitudes, Namil is conflicted. He's spent most of his teen years chasing the idol dream. He's seen his label succeed and he wants that. He wants it so bad he will fight and claw to the top of the pile to get to it. Or so he tells himself. He has reminders around him of what could be. Does he really need to be fighting this hard for this life he thinks he wants? Would it be so bad to slow down and take time to do what he actually wants to do? Does he even know what that is? Has he just been sprinting at full speed for so long he only thinks this is his only avenue? Don't ask Namil. He can't answer that...and it frustrates and upsets him so much that he even considers these doubts.

likes — Fruits, Dance, Doggos, Strategy and Puzzle Games, Kimchi Pancakes

dislikes — Sugary things, Flying insects, Chicken, Shooter Games, Gory Movies

funfacts —

- Namil can still play piano. His mom still has a video of him as a kid playing and singing a little once if you can ever get her to show it. He's not a master by any means anymore, but can still play the simple tunes.

- He admires Keone Madrid, and its a dream of his to work with him one day.

- Carbonated drinks make him want to vomit.

- Once in early trainee days, all the trainees splurged on some chicken. Namil ate so much it made him sick, so to this day chicken makes him also kinda want to vomit.

- Has a fairly distinctive laugh you can recognize even off camera.

- Knows almost all of BTS's title track choreos.

- Blood type is AB

- He played Overwatch once with fellow trainees. He was terrible. So he kept playing Hanzo to troll them.

background — 
Growing up the third son, Namil was never remarkable up until he was ten years old. His parents are both engineers and well off. His first brother was the academic and local taekwondo champ; his second brother was the musician and composer who wowed all the parents with his piano skills. No one paid the littlest brother who was eagerly dancing and singing around the home any real mind. He took piano lessons since he was five, but stopped after twelve since he was clearly not as good as second brother. And he did taekwondo too! But oldest brother beat him so soundly once he cried and never went back. So little Namil decided to make people pay attention in another way. He moved well: so he started watching videos and teaching himself to dance. And when he was noticed by his parents dancing one day, he asked them to enroll him in more formal dance lessons. So they did. But then they noticed he could actually sing a little. So they asked him if he'd like to learn to sing too. Namil agreed and was more active in school choirs and clubs. So while second brother was a pianist, Namil was their little showman.

Really, if Namil is honest with himself now, while he enjoys what he does now, he did it all at the start to get the spotlight on him over his brothers. Oh you're bringing home another gold medal big brother? Namil has this video to show you of him taking the lead in dance practice. Too bad you dance like a tree. No offense intended, truly. Performing, even if it was just in practice, made him standout amongst his siblings, and his parents started showering him in attention as their more creative son since they had their two oldest ones to brag about in the more conventional fields. 

And that's all there really is to it. His parents, while always pushing their children to be better, and inadvertently fostering a sense of competition amongst themselves, are supportive. So when Namil tells them, after coming home from a practice one day, he plans on auditioning for Big Hit and being an idol, they don't really tell him no. Just: "Make sure you succeed."

trainee life at bighit — 
Back in 2012, Namil's dance instructor invited an old friend over to see how his students were doing. That old friend was one Mr. Son Sungdeuk. Amongst the students, Namil impressed him the most as the standout and he jokingly said that his friend wasn't going to be able to teach him much more at this rate. That's how Namil got it into his head that maybe he should be considering the idol route for himself. Knowing Mr. Son worked for Big Hit, he decided to take a chance and audition for them. By the end of 2012, he was accepted as a trainee...just in time to see that BTS had it's lineup finalized. And Namil felt like kicking himself for not joining sooner. Who knows. He could have been Jungkook or Jimin. Instead, years later, he sees how bloody successful BTS is and now has to strive to be even greater by finding his own debut.

While training, Namil is quick to make a name for himself in the trainees for his dancing. But everyone knows that dancing alone won't get you where you want to be. So for about a year, he did practice vocals as well. And he was making progress and things are looking good. But one critique later, one very harsh and real critique; and realization hits Namil. Big Hit isn't about the vocal powerhouses. Hip Hop, rap, that's where he needs to be. So he shifts training into those areas, even if he isn't as good at those. He has to be competetive enough to beat out the others right?

His social circle is fairly broad amongst the other trainees as he ends up spending a lot of time with them. Are they friends? Well, if they think so, they're mistaken. The couple he did end up befriending have already left the trainee circuit and are out to lead normal lives. Namil couldn't wait for them and trekked on. Those remaining he is familiar enough with; and most are familiar enough with him to know there is always SOMETHING going on in his head. Whether its to their benefit or detriment is something they'll have to see.

FAMILY 
» Father and Mother, Pyo Jungmin and Kim Haemin | 52 and 48 | Engineers | Hard working, Honest, Exciteable
Supportive parents but with high expectations. He doesn't want to fail them, and they;ve set the bar pretty high to impress them.

» Brothers, Pyo Junil and Pyo Ilhoon | 21 and 22 | University students | typical older brothers who are supportive but judgey as hell.
The three of them are on good terms, but there is this unspoken but well known competition between all of them to be the favorite brother.

OTHERS 
» Coach, Han Gyutae | there was a time when Namil might have been one of his favorite students when newly in the company he was eager to learn to sing proper. But to add to his already mounting frustration of Big Hit neglecting their vocalists, Namil chose to focus more on his dancing and rapping. In a sense, Namil is a reminder of the continued disappointment he has with Big Hit. It's like having a disappointed parent. Namil avoids him unless he has to actually train.

» Coach, Happy (Ryuu Haru) |  To Namil, this is a constant reminder of what one future of his could be if he doesn't make the idol thing work. And while Happy might be salty about the whole thing, sometimes, just sometimes, Namil asks himself "but is this so bad?" before shushing that little voice in his head, and refocusing on his training.

» Special Coach, Mr. Son | If there is anyone at the company Namil respects and almost admires, and will openly admit it, it's Mr. Son. He's the reason Namil ended up at Big Hit afterall. 

My feelings are the most sincere. 

opinion on the bighit boys — As long as they don't get in his way, Namil is fine with them. If you're lacking, he's going to tell you so. You have the option of getting better asap, or he's going to make sure you don't hinder him. Keep up or shut up. Honestly, he may have a couple he's a bit softer for though, and he might inadvertently find himself finding ways to drag them along with him. Despite himself, he does sort of like having the other trainees around to compete and train with. It's like having his overachieving bros around. Just don't get in his way you s.

opinion on the freelancers — This is going to be fun. He's certain there must be some hidden gems here. He's either going to learn from them, or he's going to somehow use their being there as opportunity to shine. And for those freelancers who can't keep up? Well, ever competition needs losers, right? Better it be the freelancers and not his fellow Big Hit trainees. Though if this leads to debut, he's going to really be regretting if the Freelancers show more aptitude than he fellow trainees. They would make better groupmates, and make him look better and have a more successful debut. His fellow trainees better not mess this up.

interview time ! 

"hey, please introduce yourself."  

▪ "Hello. I'm Big Hit trainee Pyo Namil," he bows with the brightest smile he can muster (which is pretty big and brightm let me tell you), "I specialize in dance, but I can do pretty much a lot of anything you can toss at me." No smugness, just happy, factual delivery. Excellent.

"what made you want to become an idol and why did you sign under bighit?"  

▪ "I used to dance a lot as a kid, and I joined a studio. I even danced for the school dance crew! One day the owenr of the studio, and my main teacher, invited someone from Big Hit to visit. He saw me dance, and here I am! I supposed that since I always liked performing, I should try and find a place among the idols I've been watching and imitating even as a kid." Hey, a straight forward and fairly honest answer. This was easier than he thought.
 

"do you think that you'd have the same chances as with bighit if you were signed under another company?"  

▪ Insert primed answer in 3, 2, 1: "It's under Big H?it that I really developed into a more complete artist and performer. I don't think, and I can't say for certain, I'd have gotten that same chance and development with another company." 
 

"what would you say is your biggest strength and your biggest weakness?"  

▪ "I'm flexible and adaptable," he speaks honestly, "my main talent is dancing, but I can do a lot of other thongs such as choreography and even," he pause only the briefest moment. He should finish the thought with sing and rap, but knows saying all three would seem presumptious, "rap a little if needed." Part of Namil's brain is screaming at him for using rap instead of vocals, but then the other part kicks that little doubt aside and tells him he did good. "But even though I'm not the best in rapping, I hope my energy make up for it."
 

"how far would you go to succeed in the show?"  

▪ I would kick the next kid in the balls that comes in here if you said it would guarantee me a win. "I'm here to push myself to the limits of my abilities. And if that's not enough, I'll just have to find a new limit and reach for that."
 

"what do you have that makes you a standout from all the other bighit trainees?"  

▪ "I mentioned before that I am adaptable. That means I can roll with most concepts and I'm at less of a disadvantage when we have to consider part distribution and performances." He gives the bright smile again, he eyes doing that happy thing he's been told makes him look like an innocent kid. Good. 
 

"that's it so far. do you want to add anything else?"  

▪ "Please look forward to our performances and look after us! I hope I can show you something amazing and memorable! Or I will die trying," he adds the last little bit jokingly and is all smiles again. But a part of his mind actually cringe a little at the dying part. Not today naysayer brain. Begone!

the one and only.

Strength —  
By far dance and choreography is where Namil shines the most. He's not only good at performing, but extremely good at the teaching and coordinating aspects of working through a choreo as well. Arguably he also something of a triple threat. He can sing reasonably alright and can even rap after working with the trainers. He's even creating his own choreos. He tends to be expressively and energetic on stage and in practice. Namil is a good performer, and tends to exude an outgoing persona.

Weaknesses —  
Okay. About that triple threat thing? Yes, he can do a little bit of everything, but his vocals and rap are not the best and he doesn't shine on them. He's got a lot to live up to if he ever hopes to be comparable to the group he missed out on being part of. His vocals could be good to be fair. But right now they're not really trained as extensively, and he tends to focus more on the rap parts (much to his coach's chargrin). He's a better vocalist than rapper, but he can't really hit those high notes idols are so fond of and it has a huskier tone, so he is nowhere near a powerhouse. And the fact that he wants to be a better rapper over fostering his vocals to something more outstanding is regrettable. 

last messages.

comments/suggestions — YOU GOT DIS. I purposefully left the rap coaches out of his relations because I can see him approaching that training methodically versus actually enjoying it like he does with dance and even vocals.

scene request — Maybe Namil actually ends up liking one or some of the other trainees enough to NOT use them for his schemes? Or maybe he finally caves, and goes back to the vocal coach, almost begging, to train on his vocals again.

password — Namo (hey, they didn't want to just use his name and P.O. is taken)

turn in — back to story