Last year, when everyone wasn't at home. Leaving me and my mother alone at home, she asked me to join her. Enjoying a cup of tea in the afternoon. You know, I always avoid having a cup of tea with her. She always makes me feel like she can read everything that I hide inside. But that day, I agreed to her and we were sitting side by side at the terrace. She began asking about my college life, about my lecturers, about my seniors that I picked fight with. Until we arrived at one topic that silenced me. 

"How are you?"she asked me. I never know that one question -one simple question- can silenced me like that. I will always say, 'I'm fine. Everything is alright,'

"I'm not fine, mom"was my answer that day.

           My mother drank her tea again. As careful as she can because the tea was hot. She didn't ask me the reason I said that, she just sat in front of me with a warm smile plastered on her face. Oh God! Forgive me for not care enough toward my mother. I don't know that she had another wrinkle on the corner of her eyes. She looks tired, but she still gave me the warmest smile in the entire earth.

"Did he called you again?"I stared at her, confused. Then, she called his name. 

"Last night. Around 11 P.M until past midnight, I can't remember"I told her. We sipped our tea again in silence. The wind blew softly against my face. I can smell the rain even though is hasn't rained yet. 

"You know that I can kill everyone that makes you sad, right?"I laughed. She followed right after.

"I always wish for you and your sister happiness. Being protective until your sister always mad at me and your father for always keep both of you inside our family. But I realize, I have been in your position. Want to go out even if it's just a culinary tour with my friends, or looking for a pretty dress for someone that I can set my eyes on."she said between her smile. 

"Mom, what are you talking about?"

"I want to keep you safe. But who am I to protect you from falling in love, dear? I know that you'll hurt, bleeding, sad, and many other bad feelings when you fall in love. But there will be no other thing that can give happiness to someone the same when she falls in love. I hope you didn't fall in love with him when the rain falls from the sky"then she left me alone at the terrace. Holding my cup of tea, and the sound of rainfall for the first time last year.

He's with someone else. Even though she always makes him sad, troubled, and frustrated.

He wants to be with her. Even though she flirts with someone else, or pushing him away and not bothering her.

He is willingly to do everything for her. Even though his friends said that what he does is useless, that she's not worth it. 

He is still cruel. Even though he has her, he still coming to me that worked really hard to forget and moving on.

I sipped my tea again. Emptied it until there're nothing left inside the cup
 

            "... I want you to know, secretly, I always leave the same hope in the thousands of raindrops: I want my day to always be with you ..."