Just a little rant

Hey, 

 

I don’t normally do blogs like this because I usually am the type to “mind my own business,” but lately I have been reading stories here that, no hate or anything, the stories are bit, well it just makes me a bit disappointed. 

I’m not trying to start anything or have people get mad at me but sometimes, and I know other authors do not mean this, it was probably misjudged or what ever their reason is but lately, I have been seeing a similar pattern in newer authors or authors who have been writing fir a while but just did not noticed.

there are alot of stories out there that contain abusive relationships or abusive relationships along with pregnancy. Again, I am not trying to start anything but romanticizing relationships like that sometimes hit hard for others. 

A plot that an author has could be the best but once they start to add a paragraph that romanticize an abusive relationship sometimes throws off the entire story. I’m probably one of those that aren’t knowledgeable about writing and personalities of a character but it’s never ok for a person to stay in a toxic relationship just because they love them. 

Person A could be an abusive prick that constantly belittles and physical abuse Person B who puts up with it because they “love” Person A. People change, I know that for a fact but it still really hits hard for some people. 

Yes, people change and this is all just fanfiction but B hoping and waiting and experiencing in their lives and A seeing all that and decides to change is nice and all but if other characters are urging B to stay because Bcstill loves that person? It’s toxic to force someone to stay in an abusive relationship. And it’s not just one other character but having all your characters say that is not nice. 

You can hate on me and tell me to “Just read stories that dont include abuse in them/ It’s character development/ it’s not your story to write!” Like, yes, I totally understand you but there are others who aren’t aware that your true love hitting you is not a sign of love or romance. 

But LISTEN!! A PERSON WILL ONLY CHANGE  ONCE THEY REALIZE THE OTHER IS GONE! THAT’S WHEN THEY KNOW THEY TRULY CARE! By staying with them, it does not allow the other to grow as a character.

 

another thing: CONSENT!!!!! ITS VERY IMPORTANT!!

But whatever, it’s just how It and you don’t have to agree wit me because we all have different views of love.

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iam6host #1
what i dont understand is why people here can't separate reality from fiction?
like when did people get the idea that everything presented in a fictional story was supposed to be healthy, realistic and advisable?
they did this same thing with twilight, picking it apart and saying edward was abusive or a stalker or too old for her etc. but it was just a story written for fun, it was not a dating manual telling teen girls how to fall in love. it was a story
people read fictional stories because they want drama. if they wanted to be healthy and boring they'd go to the gym and talk to their parents etc
these are just stories. you all take this stuff too seriously
MissMinew #2
Leaving an abusive relationship can be really hard. Understanding that you’re being abused can be really difficult, especially when you’re in love.
It’s not that I don’t agree with you about the romantication of abuse in stories on AFF but it happens that people stay in a toxic relationship for complicated reasons. So for all it’s worth, a story that deals with abuse should deal with it correctly - and sometimes that means putting your character through torture even though it’s obvious to people on the outside to see that it is abuse.

The thing where it, for me, breaks is the idea of change. That love is enough to break the abuse and the abuser is now suddenly lovable and caring. I also don’t think the “people change when you leave” apply to abusers in a romantic way. They might change but my experience is that they don’t change into loving people so to write it like that is also a romantication.

When it comes to pregnancy (and especially in societies that look down upon divorce), having children is often what keeps an unhappy couple together. I’ve seen the excuse “I’m not leaving him/her because of our kids” far too many times to count so again, the view of this - although super toxic and sad - is realistic enough if approached correctly. It all lies within understanding your characters and how humans for the most part act - and then not making what is obviously wrong seem right. It’s a skill that takes time and effort and it usually requires some research into humanity but writing a story that includes these (toxic relationships wherein the abused stay with the abuser or pregnancy/children stopping a toxic relationship from falling apart) is not necessarily romanticizing. Not if done correctly.

But I understand what you’re saying and I understand why it makes you sad because it /is/ a problem on AFF. People do romanticize these topics and it’s sad to see the influence because it’s not right to portray abuse as something that should be desired. Absolutely not. ;;
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