[19 January 2018]

First of all, this Wanna One fanmeeting... was the best yet the worst one for me, out of all the fanmeets/concerts I have attended before.

And you guys are gonna be like "wtf is this idiot saying? Contradicting herself?!?" 

Well, yes. That's the truth. As you read on further this (boring) blog, you'll understand what I'm saying :3

A brief summary of the few months leading up to the fanmeet date before we begin- 

I honestly didn't think I would go to this event, tbvh. Those who are my friends on here knew I had been really angry as well as devastated by the fact that tickets had been sold out in a blink of an eye (3 minutes to be precise)- leaving Wannables (me included) feeling as if the world had ended (idek if I'm exaggerating myself...) and what do we do? We on the organizer and the ticket scalpers, of course. Who wouldn't actually?

I actually wouldn't be that sad if Wanna One was a permanent group and would return in the future, but since they are going to disband in 2019 //sobs I just know I needed to see them this time or else I wouldn't, ever.

I had succumbed to the fact that going to the fanmeet was an impossible feat (Goodbye God Daniel ;u;) but then just three days before- I got this amazing (not really) idea. 

Why not buy a ticket off Twitter? 

AND YES. I know Twitter isn't the most reliable site ever, and being the Twitter noob I was, I hunted down each and every of the users selling off their tickets. I was aiming for VIP zone (front seats) and I made a deal with a user, but just the day before the event- guess what? She backed out. SHE BACKED OUT ON ME. Just because she had met someone else who could pay her a higher amount -,- And at that point, I was getting desperate because only a few hours were left till the fanmeet.  Then leaving me no choice, I found someone selling a Rock Zone (mosh pit) ticket (and I promised myself I wouldn't ever buy a RZ ticket because it wasn't a pretty experience standing for over four hours based on my experience with Seventeen's FM last year) but hey, like I said, I was D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-E. I paid an extra rm200 more than the original price, and at that time I felt like I had just got a sweet ol' steal (not now though, ahaha) but at least I was going to the FM amiriteeee ;)))

Then the next day came. IT WAS TIME FOR W1'S FM YEHET!~

(W1 had landed in my country 4 days ago already actually, so most of the fellow Wannables had already caught glimpses of them at shopping malls and streets.)

Honestly I just wanna thank all the Twitter fansites/fanbases for all the freebies and merch they were handing out outside the stadium. You just have to show them your follow, retweet, picture proof, occasionally your ticket, and you can get free stuffs of your bias/group ;u;;;;; AMAZING. (If you haven't realize yet, I'm a total hoe for free stuffs *v*)

(And yes, yours truly is also a massive OngNiel shipper.) (OngNiel is science!!! The realest OTP!!! //slapped) (About 70% of the fans that day were OngNiel shippers too, I can tell ya ;3)

After all the freebies collecting and meeting up with the Twitter seller for my tix, I went to queue at the respected area for RZ ticketholders for 3+ hours. Lowkey wanna die at that time lmao. Was tired, legs were numb, couldn't sit down, halfway dehydrated, and sweaty af @@

After that, went into the stadium, had to wait for another hour before the show started.

Now this is where the ugly part came in- which made this fanmeeting the absolute worst. 

Right before the actual show began, us RZ ticketholders were just calmly standing still, practicing fanchants to 'Beautiful' and 'Energetic', the two music video VCRs on screen. Everything was fine and dandy- I was comfortable with my spot even. Did not have the perfect view of the stage, but I was fine.

And then the opening VCR for the show started and oh my god. Just typing this out made me recall about the incident and honestly there are goosebumps prickling my skin now. So what exactly happened?

A human wave happened. A stampede happened. A war broke out specifically at the RZ area. People from behind were rushing forward all at once, barreling on their ways like angry horses. People were squished, people were shoved, hair pulled, feet stepped on, limbs stretched. All around me, people fell to the floor and then got trampled on, and I was hanging on the sea of moving bodies for dear life. 

Then Wanna One appeared and everything just got worse tenfold.

They performed 'Beautiful' straightaway, 'Energetic' following after. Istg, I can't even remember these two performances happening AT ALL because all I could freaking comprehend was that people were pressing me so hard- from my front and behind, left and right. I was clutching on my Nablebong and my phone desperately because I was trying to record 'Beautiful' but I was manhandled so badly my arms were flailing and my knees were buckling under. My hair was tugged from behind and I could even hear the sounds of it snapping free from my scalp *-*

My fancams for the first two songs were just horrible, shaky messes tbh. I had recorded the crowds' bodies instead of Wanna One, AND I HADN'T EVEN PROPERLY LOOKED AT THEM BECAUSE SUDDENLY THERE WAS AN INFLUX OF HEADS BEFORE ME??? I could only register the bloodcurdling screams beside me and more furious shovings.

And the saddest thing was that there were poor teenage girls fainting right on the spot. A huge number of them. But people didn't care, they just pushed and pushed just to get a better look at W1. People were crying, bursting into tears and having anxiety attacks. People couldn't breathe and there was this guy in front of me weakly saying he needed air, but those idiot people didn't at all bother and continued pushing. There were some (including me) screaming, "Stop pushing!" over and over again but obviously they didn't want to listen to us. 

At this point of time, W1 were starting their individual intros and the MC was just babbling on and on, not caring about us and the state we were in AT ALL. Then some people were crying out for help from W1, and Daehwi and Sungwoon immediately cut the MC off and demanded help to be given to us. Daehwi pointed at us and said, "someone got hurt over there." DaeWoon told us to calm down, not to push each other, not to get hurt and stay safe, but people didn't listen. W1 were so upset, they were trying so hard to smile and it was so heartbreaking. Daniel looked so uneasy standing on stage while looking at us, and as a hardcore Niel stan myself, it was so sad to see him looking so helpless and concerned like that. Minhyun was really mad, Jaehwan too.

They said we had to calm down or else the show would be canceled, but people were still screaming and pushing like their lives depended on it. Eventually, the boys disappeared backstage, promising only to come out once the chaos was settled.

And honestly, without W1 notifying the MC and the crew about our situation, they wouldn't even care and would proceed with the show like nothing happened. Then finally, the crowd calmed down a bit, and some were fighting to leave even. There was this girl beside me shaking hysterically and sobbing. She was trying so hard to breathe, and a few others and I tried to calm her down. Everything was a nightmare. The helpers came and carried the ones who fainted out of the way, and even the police arrived. Someone was hopping about because they had lost a shoe and I even spotted a Nablebong broken into two pieces omg ><"

I was considered lucky tbh. Really, really lucky. I wasn't harmed at all. I had received no bruises, scratches, wounds or injuries (save for some of my hair lol) and even so, some of the neighboring people around me were asking if I was okay or not. I felt like crying at that moment. They were completely strangers to me, but they were so, so kind. If I could just properly thank them ;-; I also realized then- my spot from before at the front was then right at back around the middle. I had moved like ten steps back, and I wasn't even voluntarily moving... //sighs.

I don't even know who to blame for this fiasco... The crowd were so aggressive and blindly pushing around, hurting others. I was at the RZ for Seventeen's FM as well, and yes, light shovings are bound to happen because what do you expect when you're standing at the freaking pit? but none of it had surpassed that level of violence, except for this. Then again, none of it would have happened if the stupid, money-hungry organizer hadn't sold extra RZ tickets when they were initially sold out. That mosh pit was meant for about 800-1k number of people at most, but they had decided that hey, why not add in another 2k more people at the very last minute? Like wtf? -_- That small space is cramped af yo. People are expected to push about all because of 3k PEOPLE PACKED INTO A TINY AREA MEANT FOR ONLY 1k PEOPLE. 

Eventually the police and the crew ordered us to step back and sit down instead and this messy arrangement went on for an hour and delayed the show just because some selfish people right at the front wouldn't move- refusing to leave their 'golden spots' just so they could take close-up HD pics of the boys... They ended up getting pulled out quite rudely by the crew and ended up way at the back lmao. There were people from the seating categories that kept chanting, "sit down." over and over again and applauded when we were finally cooperating with the police and the crew xD When we were all settled, the crew threw water bottles at the crowd and we all shared it with one mouthful each lol. I'm so thankful for the two persons beside me at that time while we were all seated because they urged me to have some water despite my protests (because I'm sure other people needed it more *-*) and kept looking out for me, fanning at me with their banners/hand-held fans. I WISH I COULD JUST KNOW THEIR CONTACT NUMBERS AND THANK THEM AGAIN SERIOUSLY.

And just like that, the show was delayed for an hour all because of UNCOOPERATIVE FANS AND LOUSY MANAGEMENT. Some said that it was not the fault of local fans because 80% of the crowd were international/overseas fans //shrugs.

And that, was the worst experience of a fanmeet for me. I couldn't even concentrate on the first two performances and we made W1 upset at us... I'm not even sure if they would return after this... (most probably not :'/)

Finally the MC came out again and said W1 were extremely worried for our safety backstage, and that our safety was priority (so sweet ikr). Then he instructed us all to stand up again and almost all of us were screaming "No"s because no way were we going to face that apocalypse again. No freaking way. I would have died.

The management discussed for a few more minutes and let us be, with the exception of shoving some police people in between us for extra 'safety'. 

We then all chanted "mianhae" hoping that W1 could hear us from behind TnT

Waited some more AND THEN WANNA ONE EMERGED AGAIN AND NOW THIS WAS THE PART WHICH MADE EVERYTHING A DREAM FOR ME. THE ABSOLUTE BEST EVERRRR.

I HAD A FREAKING CLEAR VIEW IN FRONT OF ME. I COULD SEE W1 SO DAMN WELL, WITHOUT HAVING TO CRANE MY NECK OR RELY ON THE BIG SCREENS. There were no more annoying heads or pesky hands in front of me since we were all seated and everyone was of the same height so yessssss finally. I could see my babies' faces so well and could even distinguish each one of them out without needing to squint my eyes. A 5-stars view, really.

(All I wanna do! Annyeonghaesyo Wanna One imnida~ //slapped)

THEY ALL LOOKED SO FREAKING HANDSOME AND SO UNREAL OMFG??? I KEPT STARING AT DANIEL'S GOLDEN HAIR AND FLAWLESS BEAUTY AND DANG IT, HE'S SO HAWT.

The MC told them to sit down and W1 kept asking if we were okay. Jisung was even spotted with red eyes (like he was crying beforehand...) (sOMEONE PROTECT THE MOM PLS HE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS) (Minhyun didn't even smile once I'm crying-)

Okay I'm not gonna beat around the bush anymore lmao.

(Comparing Guanlin?? Jihoon?? to anime characters?????? I forgot???)

There was one game section where Wanna One all had to jump rope together 5 times to succeed and they all won ofc lol. Daniel looked so happy and he kept swaying about after that... my precious Kang Choding ;u;;;; 

(LOOK AT HIM I'M-)

(PanWinkDeep serenading us THEY'RE SO RUDE ASDFGHJKL I LOVE THEM >< mah preciousnesssss <333)

(Daniel's myriad of facial expressions lol)

They then did some weird imitation of eating Malaysian food (ONGNIEL WERE SO EXTRA SNATCH MY WIG AWAY Y'ALL!!!) and showing their love to us Wannables.

(W1 staring game~~) (Sungwoon and Woojin were chosen YUSSS) (Sungwoon my extra boy #3 wiggling about trying to make Woojinnie lose ahaha) (both of them didn't win pshhh such adorable losers) 

Then they had to decide the winner and the duo played this pushing (?) game (???) with their hands only and they couldn't move their feet (a horrible explanation actually lmao) (aND I THINK WOOJIN LOST??? LMAO) (the loser toppled forward, that I know.)

There was this short segment where Jihoon and the rest of the members did the "Nae maeum soge jeojang~" aegyo and we all followed xD and also Jisung, Jaehwan and Minhyun did some silly dance and we were all laughing and hollering.

W1 performed 'Wanna Be (My Baby)', 'Nayana' and 'Never' after that. I WAS SO SHOOK DURING NAYANA AND I LOVE NEVER SO GUESS WHO WAS SCREAMING LIKE A MANIAC? ME LOL. Their dancing was so on-point and fierceee. I still can't believe I watched it with my own two eyes and not through some measly screen and everything was 100x better, trust me.

(sadly, ALL the performances I had recorded was in video form. I don't have any in pictures so I'm sO SORRY Y'ALL UGH) 

There was a break in between, and the behind-the-scenes video for 'Beautiful' played as the VCR. There was this part I'm sure all of you know if you've watched the video uploaded online before, the legendary OngNiel scene. Everyone was so quiet and suddenly I screamed, "ONGNIEL!!!" out loud and whoops, cue people staring at me like I was a weirdo (I am though ;D) #worthit

Wanna One came out again with an outfit change and there was a small talk segment. The girl beside me was waving a Jisung banner around and was screaming his name all the time, and boiii SHE IS ONE LUCKY GIRL. JISUNG ACTUALLY NOTICED HER AND WAVED BACK. She was sobbing then omg ;v; so because of that, I started screaming Daniel's name as well, idek how many times but it was until my throat was hoarse. I'm not sure if he noticed me personally or not, but he did look over at my direction and THAT'S SOMETHING OKAY.

(And my Nablebong died halfway D;)

W1 performed 'Always' after that.

Such

A

Damn

Emotional

Song

Jesus.

Right after they finished that song, the MC told us it was nearing the end and all of us were like, "nooo" "waeeee??" "why so early??". W1 had only appeared for an hour or so only :0 It was crazily short.

(I think the show was cut short because of the delay and the management had to hurry things up... orz)

Also, Daehwi's birthday is on the 29th of January, but us Malaysian Wannables decided to celebrate on that day, 10 days before his actual bday. There was also a fan project for that where we all had to lift a banner with his face on it and sing Happy Birthday together, in English and then in Korean. Daehwi looked so pleased and he was grinning from ear-to-ear (he's such a smol cutie ;;;) he blew out the candles after making a wish and was genuinely ecstatic. 

(Also, the Malaysian Wannables prepared a beautiful cake with Daehwi's cartoon look-alike decoration on it beforehand but on stage, he was presented a simple, bland chocolate cake instead??) (The MC said he was the one who prepared the celebration wtf??) (And then he went and mispronounced Daehwi's name as Daniel. DOUBLE WTF???) (I hope Hwi got the cake the Wannables prepared backstage... ;n; if not...)

AND THEN IT WAS THE END OF THE SHOW (???)

Wanna One left the stage and it was goodbye lmao.

(We all knew that there would be an encore stage anyways. You can't fool us lol.)

So we all started chanting, "Encore!" 

And the encore performance was 'Burn It Up'.

Okay, so here's the thing. 'Burn It Up' is my fav W1 song of all time, ever. But just my luck, my phone's storage ran out....

........

Thanks a bunch, you stupid Samsung Note. Fite me.

But it was also a good thing as I could concentrate on the performance more. There were smoke blasts and amazing pyrotechnics to accompany the dance and the song. It was the best performance out of all for me (anddd I might or might not be biased haha) and everything was lit. DANIEL SHOWED HIS ABS TOO ASDFGHJKL SOMEONE CONTROL THAT BOYYY (muscles... //drools //smacked)

Like I said before, I couldn't believe I was watching it live. I could clearly see the complicated choreographies being performed and everything was magical and a dream come true.

And then this time, it was really the end lmao. Daehwi said his goodbyes in English, and Guanlin in Mandarin-Chinese- saying they would return one day. W1 left the stage pretty abruptly, and I guess they were still quite upset about the incident :( some said someone threw a soft toy on stage but a member just threw it back at the crowd //sighs.

But it was still a good night nevertheless. Well, only the second half after the delay, that is. I had focused more on Daniel rather than the other members and I don't even regret it lol #shameless. Don't get me wrong, I'm forever a OT11 stan but just, Niel stands out to me so much and it demands my outmost attention. He has always been my ultimate bias wrecker, but now after seeing him live, I am thinking if I should make him my ultimate bias instead? (Sorry Jaebum) I'm so so so in love with him and I'm not even exaggerating one bit. I love him so damn freaking much ugh. I talked about him after the show so much that my family teased me about it...

Can I just marry him please? //slapped.

So yeah, this fanmeet is absolutely one of a kind. Definitely a really memorable one. The best yet the worst. Wanna One is a legendary group and I would support them until I die, seriously. They are so caring and down-to-earth ;u; ♥

(I heard on Twitter after the show ended, the girl who sold me the ticket (Minhyun-biased) got decked out by a korean Minhyun fansite master's camera... right in front of Minhyun... during the RZ chaos. Oml. She was crying and her head was badly injured, but Minhyun had noticed the entire incident happen and was looking at her the whole time while he was singing (the Minhyun fansite master thought he was singing towards her instead PFFT) He is such a sweetheart and a caring kind-hearted puppy omg we don't deserve him.)

There was also a meet-and-greet after the show, but I wasn't lucky enough to be chosen for it :')))) Those who were chosen, however, took the opportunity to apologize for what happened to W1. I hope the boys don't think so badly of us now ;u;;;

(All of the merch I had received/bought) (The OngNiel fan is still my favourite) (Tysm to all the Twitter fanbases <33)

And that's it~ 

The end of the blog.

I honestly have so much more to tell and more pictures to share even (videos too) (most of it are of Niel heh) but still, thank you so much for making it this far, and managing to read this mess till the end <3 I love y'all <3333