i just turned 18. :) i was totally not ready hahaha. i was wondering....how should i spend the last few moments of me being a child? i felt power rush through me when it hit midnight here. i feel happy that i've turned 18. this is a day i've been looking forward to for a long time. turning 18 on the 18th, 2018. and i was also named after january, the month i was born in. so it held something special. and my high school graduation day was on the 18th too hahaha. im happy ive turned 18 but my birthday always make me sad...because my brother and my sister always forget...on previous years, when it's my birthday, my mum would be working so we usually celebrate it on the weekend and we do nothing on my birthday. im usually just in my room. i guess i was rlly looking forward to this bc my mum always promised me that she would hold a big party for me and make it special. but this year, i don't even have a birthday cake. and i don't blame her...we've been going through some financial issues. she promised she would take half the day off to watch a movie with me. on previous years, we would go to a restaurant. i remember telling her a few days ago that it's tradition for me to eat my favourite dish there on my birthday. unfortunately, we can't fulfil that tomorrow...like always, i want my birthday to be over. but im happy to be 18. it's the beginning of many more birthdays to come that i can celebrate...i'm working now...when i have more money, i can treat myself to nicer things...and not give it to my unemployed dad who spends it on alcohol and cigs. i've just always felt lonely. it means a lot to me that one friend of mine said happy birthday to me. i appreciate those 2 words a lot. i am crying. and the worst thing is i always cover this pain with lies. saying about all the wonderful things i hope to be doing on my birthday. but rlly, it's no big deal. i shouldn't act like such a baby anymore haha...