This is from the band-mates from Linkin Park:

Some words of advice from somebody a few months ahead of you

u/NepatgirJan 10, 2018, 12:21 PM

Hello everyone, I've been lurking on this sub a lot lately and I've realized that most of you are feeling the same way that we all did in /r/linkinpark when we lost Chester Bennington. I've been feeling really bad that another fanbase has to suffer through what we did, so since we're almost 6 months into this and you guys are still in the early phases of the shock and grief and confusion, I wanted to offer you some advice on what helped a lot of us, and some things you can do to feel better. I will admit that I know next to nothing about SHINee, but I hope this may help a few of you out.

• To start, if you can't listen to their music yet, don't force yourself. It took many of us a good 3-4 months before we could really listen to Chester's voice again, and even now some songs are still hard. Be patient with yourself, and if you do listen, pick songs that are easier to hear, with lyrics that are not too dark or heavy.

• Since losing Jonghyun, you might also be worried about the other members, which I would say is normal, we've had a lot of nightmares and worries about the other guys in LP. Unfortunately as a fan there isn't a lot you can do from a distance, but if they are on social media, be sure to send them all love and encouragement and support as often as you can. These messages do get through to them, especially when it's thousands of people sending them throughout the day, and it's often deeply appreciated. It may not help them much if another member is severely depressed, but strength comes from numbers and if there's a whole army behind them and lifting them up during this tough time, it can help.

• If you're suffering from depression or suicidal thoughts yourself, please, please get help. Linkin Park and Soundgarden lost a lot of fans after both singers passed away, and it's heartbreaking to hear about people giving up. It's a hard world without your favorite musicians in it, especially if they're the ones who have been keeping you going for a long time, but it isn't worth it. Be there for each other, and be kind to yourselves. There is nothing wrong with grieving a celebrity, and no shame in seeking help. Many of us decided to try therapy in an effort to help ourselves, and it has made a big difference in our lives.

• Make Jonghyun proud. Our Mike Shinoda started the hashtag "#makeChesterproud" not long after he passed, and it has been a strong motivator for a lot of fans to seek help, spread love and positivity, and do more with our lives. Try your best every day to make Jonghyun proud and live each day to the fullest. Even if he isn't here with us any more, it can help to have that motivation to keep going forward and to strive for happiness in your life.

• Option B by Sheryl Sandberg is a great book, I can't recommend it enough. Not just to somebody grieving, but for anyone going through difficult life circumstances it's very valuable. If you're struggling, you should give it a try.

• Community is absolutely important. On our sub, somebody has started a monthly discussion to update each other on how we're all holding up, but plenty of posts crop up every few days or so to talk about what we've been through, or if we're having a hard time and need some help. I can honestly say I don't think I would still be here today without the Linkin Park subreddit, a lot of the users on there have saved lives just by walking us through what we're thinking, encouraging us to get help, and just giving us an outlet to grieve and express what we're dealing with.

I encourage you guys to talk to each other a lot, because it truly helped me the most. The general public tends to frown upon grief over somebody you didn't know, and if you don't "just get over it" within a couple of weeks, you can get scathing criticism. Try to make this a place for fans to go when they need support and to be heard.

• Take care of yourselves. Eat well, try to get as much sleep as you can, exercise, channel your emotions into crative works, hold your own memorials, talk to other fans, volunteer your time to charities and good causes. Do things that are enjoyable and can distract you, keep up with the hobbies you used to do too. Don't turn to drugs, alcohol or self harm, all of those are only going to temporarily numb the pain and you'll be worse off when you do try to kick those habits.

• Don't try to force yourself to move on. Some of you may feel completely fine after a week, or a month, and thats okay, some people grieve faster than others. But if you're still feeling like your world has fallen apart after a few months, let yourself feel that way. Grief is an individual journey that takes all of us a different amount of time, and some of us will grieve for the rest of our lives. If you feel like you are genuinely unable to do basic tasks and move on with anything in your life after a month, do seek some help, but don't beat yourselves up if you don't think you're moving through this quickly enough compared to others.

• Have discussions with other fans and be open, but try not to let them get too dark. We could run around in circles in our heads trying to figure out why Chester and Chris Cornell and other fans and Jonghyun all took their own lives, and what was going through their minds at their final moments, and how they did it, and who found them, all the gorey horrible details, etc. etc. But it doesn't do us much good to go over the pain again and again, and it can bring up a lot of scary thoughts in ourselves. Try to focus on expressing your thoughts and feelings and lifting each other up rather than going down that dark rabbit hole.

I know this is extremely painful and difficult, but I will tell you it gets easier. It doesn't hurt this much indefinitely, the pain eases with time. Let yourself feel it and grieve, and know that you won't be in this place emotionally forever, feelings always pass and change. Keep doing tributes, making works of art, getting tattoos, and enjoying Jonghyun's music. He may no longer be here, but his creative works and his spirit will be around until the end of time.

Our subreddit is always open for discussions and grieving fans of any artist, so you're welcome to hop over whenever and spend some time there too :) I wish you all the best of luck and love in your lives and that you can heal from this, and find more meaning and purpose because of it. Much love.