I've been struggling the past few days. I think the best way for me to get this out is by writing a letter. 

Dear Jonghyun,

Thank you. Its amazing how one person, you, can touch so many lives. I've been a fan of you and Shinee since 2009. If it weren't for your voice I would have never been drawn to the group in the first place. You helped spark my interest in Korean langauge and culture. When I was having those hard days, where I seemed to be alone and everything I did seemed to be for nothing, you provided an escape for me. Eventually I realized that your world, my escape, wasn't so far out of reach. Here I am 8 years later, living in Korea. I've been here for 3 years now. I'm speaking the language, living in the culture, and still enjoying the music. If it weren't for you, I doubt I would have ever found this happiness and freedom in my life. 

As great as Korea is, I know the hell it can be for others. Sadly, the longer I'm here the more I see that. Everyone in this country is happy and generous on the outside but beneath the surface there is conflict and greed. You have to become an actor if you want to survive. In this communal society, it's easy to feel completely alone. I feel it often and have been struggling a lot lately. I've had friends come an go, only wanting me for English or other benefits, taking and never giving anything in return. I don't blame you for what you did. You were hurting in a society that's full of closed minded people, where lables and status and competition are the most important things. I'm sorry you couldn't get the help that you truely needed. 

You tried your best. You were an amazing artist and human. Your music will continute to inspire and you memory will live on in the hearts of millions. 

사랑합니다. 감사합니다. 수고했습니다.