I'm not terribly active on here but I feel the need to say something... I'm not thinking entirely straight so forgive this rant. 

I'm sure everyone knows by now. The passing of such a talented and loved man has shocked and hurt so many.

I remember when I first began to follow shinee, he stood out to me. He was even the lead in one of the first and definitely the most memorable fanfics I've ever read.  I even wanted to bias taemin but I just couldn't keep my eyes off Jonghyun. His smile, his powerful vocals and his playful manner. I recall his smile the most. He was sunshine. 

And yet... 

He was hurting. He must have struggled, so much.  And I'm grateful he isn't suffering any longer. But I selfishly wish it could have been different. And sure, I spread to other fandom, to the point where I didn't follow shinee as much, and focused elsewhere but he was always a constant. I'd see him on shows or in fancams or as an MC and remember him fondly. I always had a soft spot for him. That's why as one of my oldest bias' I'm almost angry. How did we not see this? How did no one step in? How has this all happened and now it's too late? I guess it's regret... 

And... I'm sure many others are feeling it too... And to that I just want to say, don't. It's not how he would have wanted us to be and it's not what our focus should be. It's happened, that won't change. No one is to blame. 

This is a hard time, but take comfort in the knowledge that he's in a better place, he's not living in pain any longer. In truth, no one knows what he went through but himself. But we know all he's resting now. It's over. 

Now all we can do is celebrate his life, remember and cherish his memory. I just want everyone to know that for anyone who needs it, I'm here. We'll get through this. Every fandom is here for you shawols. This man was loved and cherished and shall remain to be... And one day we will move on. He will be remembered as the legend he is, one of the most talented men in the industry. 

So for the last time, goodnight Jonghyun. You did well.