"...stars are rarely discovered, they are made."

This is one statement that perfectly depicts the kpop idol life. I've been a fan for more than 10 years already. I've known enough and seen enough.

I love the music. I love the lyrics. I love the artists.

The artists, they were more of an inspiration to me. Talent? If you want to be a kpop star, talent alone won't get you anywhere. You have to have the guts to keep on going, the brain to study different languages, the will and energy to practice from 5-8 hrs, everyday for a week (because you have to study or others, do part time jobs for the rest of the day), and be humble to be trained, especially under a contract, which actually prohibits the trainees to date or use their phones. Most big stars today already lost their youth to train to be who they are today.

And you see, their lives, didn't differ much to my life, to what I've been through to get to where I am now. And as we finished the "training"/studying and finally "debut"/graduate, the pressure will stay. People will always expect us to know everything, and to have specialization later on. You have to be the best because the mentors will expect you to be. And at the same time you're expected to be a good junior to your seniors.

And this lifestyle... it's a whole rollercoaster of emotions. We get blamed when somebody dies, when it seemed that we didn't do enough, when in fact we practically live in the hospital, underpaid sometimes, with lack of sleep.

Our favorite artists, they are expected by their companies to be number one, because in the first place, they were "made" to be number 1. They were chosen to bear the company's flag. And if they don't, they'd feel like they didn't do enough, that they didn't work hard enough.

The blames, the frustrations, the disappointments, the exhaustion, the stress, the feeling of failure, when they get piled up, even a single success wouldn't seem enough to lessen the burden. It's hard. It's crazy. 

It's so ing crazy.

That's why I have a great respect to artists who have debuted before and are still standing, and also those who were able to debut recently, as the competition is really high. It's their hardwork, their passion, and their courage, that I respect... Only next is their talent.

P. S.

To all who doesn't know me, I'm a medical doctor. I still don't have a specialization. A specialization means another years of training while kissing your seniors' asses (sorry for the word, but that's how it is in reality). I still haven't got into that level that I'm feeling so depressed, maybe getting there. I'm more on the burnout phase. I've only got 2 escapes this year.. And those 2 escapes were my travel in Korea. I stay there for 2 weeks. Nobody in my country can contact me about work. It's like I'm completely out of reach but not to the point where they don't know where I am or what I am doing. And every time I come back, it's like I'm new again.

And again, if you guys have problems and need someone to talk to, PM me. I also have viber and kakao