I still haven't gotten over the fact that officially, Sulli already left the group. It was a bit caustic because earlier this week, I started watching old f(x) videos starting with f(x)'s Koala. And then when I logged in again in twitter (I'm not connected 24/7), I was shocked to see that an official statement regarding her departure has been released.

Though right now, I admit that I'm now a Krystal bias, Sulli and Amber were the first ones who got my attention during their debut. Being a Cassie, I've seen Sulli acting with Yoochun in one of DBSK's Banjun dramas, so basically, she's the one I was really familiar with. I really liked how she complemented the "maknae-ness" of Krystal, because she got the aegyos and stuff despite being the tallest member. I also love how she laughs out so loud. Her face also flashes nothing but innocence in it. And though vocally, she really isn't that 'blessed' with a wide vocal range, as well as her a bit lack of dancing skills (I'm not saying she can dance, but with the level, she can keep up, but not as fast as the others), just being able to keep up with the other members' pacing, I still find it admirable about her.

When the news and confirmation about her boyfriend, it also shocked me, though at that time I'm already a Krystal-bias (I still love all of 'em though). I mean the age difference is just too... wide. But come to think of it, she grew with her elder brothers taking care of her, so I think maybe, that's what drew her close to him. I admit, it's still awkward for me to think, though I'm happy for her.

But what made me admire Sulli more is her courage. There were a lot of factors for her to finally decide to quit the group, but since I don't know her personally, I could only speculate. It's not just the malicious comments about her dating scandal. Remember how she cried during her trainee days because she felt like she's dragging the progression of the group's practice because she couldn't get a couple of dance steps? That alone could bring someone down, though I think she's trying her best to fight it. But as the pressure got higher since they debuted, the weight just became overwhelming. I think she just can't bear the fact that she felt like she's dragging the whole group down not just because of the dating scandal, but as a part of f(x) itself. She started her career because she wanted to be an actress, if I remember it right. It just so happened that a door towards being an idol opened and she ventured into it. She met the other four along the way but sadly, the road became too rough already for her. That's when courage comes in. When it's already too tough and you think you can no longer grow, why keep struggling? Sometimes we just have to accept the fact that we finally reached in an intersection, where we have to choose which path should we walk on through. Shall we keep walking straight? Shall we divert already and make a turn? If we continue to take take the same road, will we still be able to have a sense of fulfilment and growth?

Let's also not forget that it could've been a hard decision on Sulli's part too. Let's remember that as she ventures in a different path, the loop the she came to love (dance practices, vocal trainings, recordings, album jacket photoshoots, etc), she'll have to leave behind, and sadly, along with the people included in that loop. And I quote, from the previous co-captain of our soccer team, who also quitted, said, "the assurance in this whole thing is: no one decides to be in a worse position, it is always for the better."

Quitting doesn't always mean you're being weak so you're giving up.

Quitting may also mean being brave enough to acknowledge your limitations and tell yourself to stop, it's not for you, why not try other roads? Who knows, it really is the right one for you and that road you took was only there to prepare you for something bigger.

So to Sulli, we hope that you give it your best shot in you acting career. FIGHTING!

f(Sulli)'s signing out, gotta make way for actress Choi Jinri.