I don't know what to say... i never thought this day would come.... Yesterday, I only found out the news 5 hours later. I had been busy the whole day and only found out before going to bed only because my mother called and told me the news. I was so shocked. I didn't believe her. She kept telling me his name is Jonghyun from a group called shinee. I didn't believe her. I didn't want to believe her. How? Why? I couldn't comprehend anything. I just burst out crying and I couldn't stop myself. I never knew how much I actually loved Jonghyun and cared about him until this moment. I have never actually been a Shawol. I didn't actively listen to their songs and buy their albums. But I loved every single one of the members. I loved them because of their personalities. I loved them because whenever I was sad and watched any of their variety shows I would feel better and laugh. But how I hate myself for not being able to  do the same for them. I feel horrible. They have always been there for us but we couldn't be there for them. How I wish he knew how much we love him. How much we care about him. But it's too late now. And there's nothing we could do. I'm sure that he's in a better place now. He's our little angel now singing in heaven. I've been crying since yesterday. I still can't stop crying and I still can't fully comprehend what happened but, we have to go on. I'm sure that's what Jonghyun would have wanted us to do too. I'm sure he's watching over us from heaven right now. I hope that he's feeling better with angels up above.  I feel terrible.... I'm gonna miss him so much.... Jonghyun oppa, you did well our beautiful angel ❤