As we know, Jonghyun is now dead. Our 27 Shinee main vocalist is now gone from us. I was actually having a good day until i found out abou this when it first came out. I was bailing my eyes out. I couldn't stop. It hurt so freaking much. I had to cry silently but it was so muchto handle. I am lucky I am on break because if I was at school I would have cried right there. I found out how freaking fake my friends are as well. So I posted about Jonghyunnie onmy instagram (@leehongbinoffical) but they're were like "Why are you crying? He's not even your family." I was so mad and that made me feel so sad. They were some of my closest friends too. I cried real hard realizing how fake and how I thought they would understand me. I was like even though they weren't my family I would still cry. I mean for instance, if they died I would still have cried and they're not family. I was so emotionally unstable and I was just breaking down. I posted my feelings but no one cared to even comfort me. I feel like my only friends are on here. Anyways, our poor Jonghyun is now an angel but I can't believe it still. I'm just slowly accepting it. It hurts so much but no one seems to really care. Not even my own family. Jonghyun, you were one of the most special people in my life. You were one of the first k-pop biases I had. If only the stupid doctors helped you through your depression. I mean if some one calls you and they say they need help from depression, you help them. Don't tell them that it's just voices in his head. You're a doctor for crying out loud!!! Even if there are voices, you should've helped!!! God these stupid a** doctors. They also said that they reported about Jonghyun at 4 but they came at 6. Like wtf!!! A life ya'll could've saved. What kind of f***ing police are you!!!! All this devastation you could've f***ing prevented. It gets me so mad when people aren't doing their job correctly. I'm sorry about this rant. I'll talk about it more if you DM me. Love you my Angel Jonghyun. May you  rest peacefully my love. Though m. y heart is broken, I will still love you!!!Through my heart is broken, I respect you're decision,my love. Rest til your heart's content Oppa. Love you forever. Thank you for giving us happiness. (If you want to see my thank you's,see them on instagram @leehongbinoffical ) My love will only grow stronger for you Jonghyunnie. Fighting to all out there,especially  to Shinee and Shawols. Love you all. Jonghyun I will  cry but don't worry, these tears won't go to waste because their for you. Sorry we put so much pain on you. If only I could've talked with you, if only you could've talk to your members, if only you could've talked to Shawols, if only you could've talked to us. You were strong my dear, my love. I will love you forever. 💗💝💘💞💟💓💓💕💕💖💖💔💔💔👄😭😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😢😢 i wish you were still alive and seen me turn into a k-idol. You were so young.

 love you baby boy

April 8, 1990-December 18, 2017

- leila