Words failed me yesterday when new broke out about Jonghyun. I became numb... I couldn't even cry. It was like I was caught in a time warp where everything stood still. Even when my friends were crying, no tears came to me yet. My heart hurts alot but I just can't cry. SHINee had been there for me for ups and my downs.. They had been my savior when my own life had been filled with darkness and turmoils. To know that I wasn't able to help the one who helped me made the crack in my heart grow bigger....

Jonghyun had ascended to the Heavens with his wonderful talents and voice, leaving a legacy behind....

I don't know what's going to happen in the future but to me, SHINee is always and forever will be FIVE. Whether the rest will continue on or not, I will continue to support them and pray that they will stay strong in this tough time..

I pray that we all can get through this somehow. I'm here for you too....

In regards to my stories, I will still continue to write them. This is my way of dealing with life and I will not stop. I respect those who felt that that they would rather stop or stay away but for me, things will not change just slower updates for now. Jonghyun will still appear in my fics.. This is my way of keeping his memory alive for me. I just want to say beforehand that I'm sorry if seeing Jonghyun's fics triggered you. I hope that you'll be able to stay strong too... HUGS....