So, I’m sure most of you are aware of the events which transpired today. Jonghyun of Shinee passed away, after making a suicide bid. 

Im 21 years old, I’m a second year at university and I’ve been listening to Kpop for over four years. I’ve always had a broad music taste, never one genre. But Kpop was my “happy Music”, my “this will make you feel better without fail music”. It’s gotten me through a lot of in those four years with the upbeat songs and the cheerful lyrics. When I heard what happened today I felt ... empty. 

You never truly realise how much someone influences you and makes you feel better until they’re gone. And he’s gone. 

Shinee were one of the originals, on that day in July ‘13 when I started going on a YouTube spree of Kpop music videos, I watched Sherlock by shinee, growl by exo, and very good by block b. That was my gateway into the wonderful world of Kpop music, and I’m so glad I discovered them. Shinee were unproblematic, extremely caring of their fans, they produced fantastic music which was loved by people across the whole world, and they truly loved what they did.

Jonghyun made his struggle with mental health no secret, and he was not suffering in silence. He was seeking treatment but he felt it wasn’t working. He was so strong, and he deserved so much better. I am so sorry to his family and his friends. 

It truly is time that people realise how damaging the Kpop industry is, and it is time that people take mental health seriously. This is no joke, it’s real ing life and he’s really dead. He shouldn’t be. 

If anyone wants to talk, I’m always here. Any shawols or just any Kpop fans in general who feel alone. I’m here. No more sadness, no more suffering, no more unnecessary deaths.

id been writing parts of my stories, but I just don’t feel comfortable uploading it right now. I just need some time to process all this, let it sink in. I hope all of you are well, and I’m always here.