Why?

Its nearing the exam week and I should be having exam fever by now but strangely this is not the case this time. For the first time of my 21 years of life, I am calm. Too calm for my liking. Is my body trying to protect me? I believe that I have the will and power to overcome big obstacles in life since I had a rough start in life since a kid but the last few months prove me wrong. Is that why? Am I weak enough that my body is shutting everything down before I collapsed? 

Or

Am I just scared? Of getting a panic attack in front of everyone? Is that why? I don't think so. Can someone please answer me? I know I'd probably already had the answers to it. I just need to look deep through what I actually want and feel about it. This time around I'm clueless tho. The first time ever I feel like I can't climb pass the wall. Even if I do try I feel like I don't have the equipment for it. Do you think I should still try? Climb a mountain with nothing except their bare hands. It might take you a few days and you need essentials such as food to survive. Have anobody done it before? People say I am smart, we believe you can do it, we've seen you done it. Why do I feel like this time its different. It feels like I am not me. Its just totally different. Am I changing before I know it?

Brain, Body, Heart,

I hope you are doing okay. Am I putting a lot of pressure to you? Are you okay? Should I do something to fix you up? Can you let me know what do you want to make it easier? How can I make you go through this thing? I know its hard but I know we can do this. I can have hope right? We can pull it off. We always do. 

Friends and family,

Can you help me? I know we might not be that close but can you help me go through this phase of life? I am not crazy right? Or am I?