So a letter came in the mail for me today and it was an invitation from Miss Teen Boston asking me if I wanted to join the lineup for 2017.And I'm just over here like:

HOW'D YOU FIND MY INFO

WHO RECOMMENDED ME

WHAT IS THISSSSSSSSSS

One my friends who is a dancer won a beauty pageant before, idk if you guys know her, but if you're Khmer, you most likely know her

Her name is ia Prak and she holds the title of Miss Cambodian American 2015 and she also competed in Miss Global 2015 and was the 1st runner up which is a great accomplishment for Cambodians.

And since the first Miss Cambodian American comeptition in 2015, other states and countries like Texas and Australia have followed suit and made their own Miss Cambodian pageants. ia actually had the honour of judging the competition in Austrailia a few months ago and when she went to visit Cambodia last year, a lot of people recognized her and soe of her fans even waited at the airport for her.

I'm a shy and reserved person and I have a lot of acne scars on my face and my closet is full of shorts, sweatpants, and t-shirts, and hoodies. I already registered for the information session, which lets the judges get to know me to see if I will be accepted or not to be an actual contestant. And I honestly don't know how to feel about this. Like I want to show the world that this couch potato is a crispy, and golden set of McDonald's fries, but at the same time, I'm scared that I won't get far. 

Like, when I do something, I want to get to a point where I could be like, "I did good. This far is enough."

Or else, I'll end up like my story ideas that I publish, but end up deleting because I can't think of how to continue the story anymore. 

You get me?

I went on their website and watched a few of the videos of the winners and it doesn't seem that bad. I know that the girls on there say that it's not about winning or losing, but I feel like no matter how hard I try to drill that into my brain, I'm still going to only think about the end result and not what's inbetween. And it's so scary that I could be so greedy for the winning title even though I'm not that good of a person.

I also want to be like ia and travel the world and be recognized for my efforts and accomplishments, but I just have no faith in myself. I mean, on the inside, deep down, I have extreme faith in myself that I can at least get in the top 3, but I don't want that extreme faith to ruin me so I have to have low self esteem to balance it out.

I also don't want to miss this chance and regret anything but I also don't want to regret trying it out.

Any of you guys or people you know done one of these? Let me know what you think.

Here's the website if you want to check it out: Miss Teen Boston 2017

And for those of you that don't know ia: