well, just suddenly thinkng about an interesting plot where a guy pick up a girl but he saw her little sister and for her instead.

but it turns out that the little sister is gay. lol.

how interestiong that plot playing in my mind right now.

but no, i think i can't write it down lol.

anyway, i am writing some taeny right now, and it's going to be angst, again.

i have to maintain my mood for writing angst and it's not easy because i have to be in certain mood to squeeze every bit of word from my body.

and you probably wondering why i'm back at writing fanfics.

i thought i was going to stop either, but you know, something happen and something triggered some old feeling.

and that old feeling is somehow the same feeling i have when i start writing.

as i told so many times, i write because this is the only way to tell about my feeling. i am such an introvert kid and it is not easy to tell people how i feel and why i feel, and it's easier to just write. but writing about myself is hard because i need to elaborate why and how and things i don't even know. so i chose to write about what i love the most, which is SNSD and taeny is my best muse. and well, my depression, i think it's light. i don't really have insomnia and everything i wrote about the character is not me whatsoever, it's fiction. it's things that play in my head. please don't take it seriously. it's just story.

i'm not really sad nowadays, so it's kinda hard to maintain such feeling to write this new fanfic.

looking back, i try to finish this fanfic first than post the first chapter since i tend to drop my project early on and i tend to lost my inspiration half way through lol. i don't want to make people disappointed about me leaving. again. with unfinished story, yet again.

these past years i think i'm not certain about my feeling and i think i start to develop 'i don't care' mindset so it affected my writing so much. when writing i have to imagining things. like if i write a love dovey stuffs i have to imagining it and what it feels as the characters, its hard when i have broken heart. and since my feeling kinda numb lately, it's super hard to describe things anymore. so continuing unfinished story is hard.

well, maybe no one read this lol. anyway glad to be back.