I'm still in love with you 

I haven't wavered, not even for a moment

I still loved you on the plane ride home, when I knew my greeting was going to be a goodbye

I still loved you as I went to sleep, knowing your goodnights were afterthoughts 

I still loved you as I begged you to see me again, and I still loved you when you turned me away 

cruelly 

it was the cruellest thing anyone's ever done for me 

and still, when I ask myself if I would take you back 

over the humiliation

the pain 

the sleepless nights

the bottles of vodka burning my throat as they push themselves down 

the packs of cigarettes and the dirty laundry that reeks of smoke and recluse

not for a moment have I doubted that I would