Those time when you really want to give everything up and curl up on your bed and sleep. I feel like that too. I don't know what's happening to me. There are too many things that happened and it feels like a huge burden grumpling up inside my chest.

I don't what is. It remains unknown. It feels like a unwanted sorrow , that attack me without notice. I don't know if this a depression. I don't feel like talking to anyone, I don't feel like going out. I even blocked all the numbers in my contact, dont want to be disturbed.

I know, it's unhealthy to stay sad and deep in sorrow. I know and i don't want it to be like that either. But, I can't help, can I ? When you're sad and thinking all the negative things inside your head, it's impossible to get back to normal when people say "Don't be sad"

Okay I know it's supposedly to be a motivation but I don't need it now. I really don't. It feels like you saw me falling down but you aren't trying to catch me and save me. All you do is looking at me and say "Don't fall". Is this theory correct?

I tried so many things to stop thinking about it. I worried. My future, especially. This year i'll be going to sit for an entrance examinations and i feel really scared and lost all the hopes and confident.

Today i received my monthly tests and it turned out to be something i don't want it to be. I gave my all into these 15 papers but it rather dissapoints me, very much. My moods changed really quick and it kills me . What am i missing? What did i do wrong?

Then, i found a reason. 

I'm getting far away fron my God. I know. Yes, its indeed an answer. Maybe its not like 100% but i think its from that. Sometimes, i forgot about him and tend to live my life like religion-less. 

I forgot to ask for a blessing from him. I forgot to pray and du'a. I forgot everything about him. My life isn't blessed. That's why i tend to feel sad all the time without a specific reason. And, many obstacles come to me, without any notices.

Okay, this is all. I'll update u guys more. Love u