Well. I don't exactly have no friends but I guess I have nobody to talk to atm.

It's just-- I'm feeling seriously ty and I really need to talk to someone. Or publish this rant.

So like. I have this one person I love. Not friends love. Like ing-deep-love that sometimes makes me hate myself because I can't stop it no matter what I do. But the problem is, even though I know she feels the same, she believes that it won't work out, so yeah-- it doesn't really work out I guess?

But we stay close, as friends. And it makes me happy enough because she's my most favourite person in the world. Whatever I do, my first thought would be to tell her about it. Yeah, I'm that crazy. Like seriously crazy I can't believe in myself anymore.

Then something happened today. I don't exactly know what it is, but it seems to be my fault? So like, I made her do something, just for us to have fun. But in the end, I think I said the wrong thing and she went emo bc she's disappointed in herself. I told her it was okay, because it was no big deal, and it was just like some sort of game-- but she said it was a big deal for her and she hated it. I tried to comfort her, but then BAM. Suddenly it was all... Complicated. At first, I thought her laptop had seenzoned me again (it always does to her KakaoTalk) so I sent her some more messages. Then she still seenzoned, so I sent some more messages to ask her what's wrong, or if I did anything wrong. Because for heaven's sake, I wouldn't know if you don't TELL ME. Then I found out she has blocked me on KKT. And then Facebook. And later, it might be everything. I sent her messages on IG and AFF but still no response. Actually, I wouldn't mind had she told me not to disturb her or leave her alone for awhile. But she DIDN'T tell me ANYTHING. This makes me feel confused, sad, upset and ty in the worst way possible. And it's not the first time it happened. Honestly, darling, if you are reading this, all I ask is for you to let me know what did I do so wrong? Please don't leave me like this. I never asked for more; talking to you has always been more than enough. Talking to you made me happier than talking to 1000 people in the world. You make me the happiest. I will never ask for more than this. But please, don't stop talking to me. I'd rather argue with you than live with a question that'll never be answered.

OH I'VE BECOME SUCH A CRYBABY. I'm sorry for wasting your time with this long  post, everyone. I just really have to let it all out. I really hate myself at the moment.