Heyhey, kids! It's time for another episode of "please let me go home" in true AFF fashion. Since my last blog post garnered some attention, I feel that I should lay down some things before we get going. If you're reading this and your story is featured - boy, am I glad to see you! You should know that I'm not taking your story and laughing at it and then throwing it in the trash, I'm laughing at it and throwing it back in your face. You need to wake the up and smell the coffee because you're a part of something that can't go on. Again, we as a community have stopped giving a about what can qualify as good literature and this, exactly this, is the type of angry criticism that is needed. You wanna fite? Slide in my PMs and I'll let you know what's up, hoes. 

Now, back to the fun stuff! I mentioned a game somewhere in the title for this blog post, yes? Well! The game is called...

Spot the fake synopsis!         And I'm gonna lay down the rules for ya real quick. 

So below I have collected a number of story synopses, neatly summarized for your reading pleasure. One of them is one that I just made up on the spot, but I won't tell you which one until the very end. Try your best to figure out which one it could possibly be! Now let's see how ing jaded AFF has made you. 

1. Generic one-word title which can double as a chemical process

Genre: Omegaverse (wow), school life

Seokjin is a regular omega, but a smart one at that. In fact, he's second smartest in the college - the first spot is already taken by a certain Namjoon, a blond and vicious alpha who decides that Seokjin will be his little plaything. Namjoon is abusive, vindictive and ually harasses Seokjin, but it's okay because Y BOYS WILL HAVE Y WOLF .

2. Generic song title which can double as a book title apparently 

Genre: Angst, mpreg

Jimin's mother is gravely ill, and he is propositioned by a certain Mr. Jeon Jungkook. The solution is to give his body to Jungkook who will pay him handsomely for it - but Jimin is violently physically and verbally abused, and then he's used as a toy (read: ). Oh, and he's also locked inside a basement all day and isn't allowed to talk to anyone. Sounds oddly familiar, wonder why. Y BOYS ARE ING EACH OTHER PT. II. 

3. Generic title which has a supposedly darker meaning, though I doubt it

Genre: School life, wolfAU, mpreg (apparently these are compatible)

Youngjae, shy omega, goes to school for wolves and day one he is just, like, so attacked by this annoying but super handsome guy. Mr. Handsome Jerkface is known as Jaebum and is, naturally, an alpha who has his sights set on making Youngjae's life hell. Also, they're paired in the same pack, so the ually charged anger and tension between them just grow. Their school mates are observing them and gladly come up with pairing names for everyone in their pack, theirs being namely 2jae. These boys are now living the dream. Of a fangirl. Who has lost her marbles. 

4. Title that is literally the entire story summarized into two words

Genre: Arranged marriage, romance, (you guessed it) mpreg

Luhan is, again, super ing rich and the heir to the biggest company in Korea and China and why not the world, too. He's also going to be marrying the person that he totally hates, Kai. In order to get out of marrying Kai, he lies and says that he's already in love with someone else - Sehun. Sehun just happens to be a famous singer, and things, as you could expect, escalate from there becuse it's gonna end with Luhan and Sehun banging. BOYS HAVE Y  PT. III.

5. Super long title which gives away the immediate plot 

Genre: Arranged marriage, fluff, angst 

OC girl, heir of super big and amazing conglomerate company, is meant to marry Taehyung, heir of other super big and amazing conglomerate company. However, she's incredibly upset - why? Because she (naturally) hates him! She has despised his face since the day they met, because... Well, I don't know. He's "lazy" and "likes being rich". Idk, seems fine to me. Anyway, she totally hates him and she's just so upset and insulted, and... Wait, they end up marrying and loving each other anyway? Oh. 

6. Oddly intriguing title which doesn't say much and if it weren't for the tags I wouldn't have clicked on it 

Genre: Romance, ion (yup, you read that right)

Sehun is a gay e (holy ) who has spent his tragic childhood taking care of his sick mom or something. Because he's gay and, well, a e, he now wants to get into the pants of famous Kai, member of EXO and general hottie. Only one lil' problem - this boy is straight and not gay. Oh well, that clearly doesn't stop Sehun because why would such a silly little thing as uality stop someone from trying to them anyway, right? Right. 

7. Boring title 

Genre: Romance, supernatural

Kyungsoo is a veterinarian and is absolutely loved by all animals except for one cat. That cat is actually a man, Kai. Who would have thought. Crazy antics ensue and I guess they fall in love or whatever. 

8. Boring-er title that isn't even a title

Genre: Romance, supernatural 

Kris one day finds a random man wearing nothing but a white t-shirt. Kris tries to stop himself from looking at the half- man's , and fails. But soft; what bunnytail through yonder t-shirt breaks? Yeah, so Suho is a bunny and crazy antics ensue. I guess they fall in love or whatever, again. Why anyone would love a half- man who is actually an animal is beyond me. 

9. Sad title for sadder story

Genre: Vampires, romance (?) 

Yuri is a normal girl who goes to school and falls in love with Jessica who happens to be a vampire. The story is a more school-centered version of Twilight, I think that's all you need to know. Ah, and all the vamps in the story have very tragic backgrounds. Something something, someone's related to the principal, there's something about a clan aaaaand some kinda blood transfusion ritual. ALSO LOTS OF THINGS ARE WRITTEN IN CAPS. 

Alright, children! Now that you've read all the story synopses I want to know which one you think is the fake one! Let's hear your answers in... 

3!

2!

1!

Which one is it? 4? 8? 2?

Actually, I didn't make up a single one, because you and AFF and they way people are writing on here. Oh no, you read it all right, these are all real and active stories. Does that make you feel good or bad? I, personally, feel just about ready to throw up because holy - I spend time on this website. What the am I doing with my life. 

And y'all know what? This is exactly what we need to talk about. We need to discuss the fact that these are fangirls and fanboys writing things which are absolutely terrible and terrifying at once without a single tought of either consistency or quality. For the love of GOD, can we get over the whole "my character needs to have a sad backstory"? I mean, why are we still doing this? 

Now, listen, I don't mean to tell y'all that you can't have a story that's featuring a character who has a tragic past, but I seldom come across stories which are centered around the backstory. It's just there, another supposed facet to the character's personality, like the christmas ornament that's hung on the back of the tree so you can't really see it other than when you hang it up. Try to think about it this way - why is the tragic past necessary to the character? What is the point of it? I don't know how many orphaned little children I've read about here who either grow up to be awesome or just nervous wrecks, and in the same vein, I can't count how many times their pasts have mattered. At all. Because they don't. 

Here's the thing. You can write a character without a sad backstory. Totally outrageous, right?! I know! Mad! But it's hella true, because even though most people have gone through something tough or sad at some point, that is very rarely what they'd describe themselves with. If I were to write a character that I needed to introduce, I wouldn't start with "Hi, my name is Blank Blankson and I'm a former orphan who was and abused, now I work at a café." 

Like... No. Just, no. You don't need that bull. That doesn't give your character depth, it gives your character an excuse to either be nervous all the time, to be angry for no reason or to overreact. God forbid that it's just their personality, right? 

And how come none of y'all base your characters on real people, huh? Lemme break it down. 

I know a guy. He's nice, but he has struggled with feeling insecure over the greater course of his life. He has had a strained relationship with his parents who are conservative and want him to be a successful lawyer, but as he has grown he has mended much of that and he is now very close to them, his father in particular. Because he used to be so insecure, he seeked validation all the time - this caused him to want to be super funny, even when he wasn't because he just needed someone to laugh at his jokes and that would be good enough. Since high school, he has developed into an amazing person. He has honed his skills and is one of the most hardworking and dedicated people I know. He's set to get engaged to a lovely girl (she doesn't know that yet, though) and they're planning their life together. 

Well, will you look at that. A whole backstory without any tragic events! The closest thing you can find in that story is that he's had a hard time coping with his parents, but that's ing it. Ain't none of y'all ever struck by the fact that some odd 30% of the stories on here feature some kind of orphan? THAT'S NOT THE ONLY SAD THING THAT CAN HAPPEN TO SOMEONE, OK. IT'S NOT. 

it. I'm over this . Let's see what games we can play next week. 

Word count: 1750+ but again, I don't care