Due to high demand, I'm transferring over my April Fools crack chapter from Pick Your Poison (Ch 13) to a blog post. Enjoy my trolliness whenever you want now in preparation for next year.

 

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asinus | fool

 

 

Cirrus looked outside from her room and was met with the beautiful sight of blue skies. There wasn’t a single cloud in sight, which meant the Sun shone brighter than usual. The princess craved to step outside. The exhilarating feeling of desire rushed through her veins and influenced her feet to slowly make their way towards the tiny sliding door that hung above her hammock.

 

Slowly, she slipped a hand through the metal bars that guarded the sliding door and hesitantly rapped her knuckles against the wooden surface. She quickly removed her fingers from the door and gulped in anticipation. As soon as her hand fell to her side, she began to regret knocking against the door.

 

What would she tell Baekhyun? That she wanted to go for a walk? Did that seem appropriate? She had never requested a stroll with him in the past before, so would asking him now seem strange?

 

The wooden door slid open, causing Cirrus to jump in place. Baekhyun’s dark eyes faced hers and in a tired voice he asked sarcastically, “And what does the princess require?”

 

“I umm – I was thinking the weather was quite nice right now. Perfect for a walk,” she mumbled under her breath.

 

Baekhyun let out a sigh and quickly glanced at his desk. Papers were sprawled all over the surface with notes, maps and translations of the riddles from the treasure map. They were on their way to Dolum, and one step closer to the treasure. Perhaps he had done enough studying for the day. A break sounded quite nice to him, actually.

 

“Sure,” he said through a smirk that was just shy of being a smile.

 

Cirrus’s face lit up in delight, but he could tell she was trying her best to remain composed. He shut the sliding door and made his way out of his room. He rapped his knuckles against Cirrus’s door, then swiftly unlocked it. Baekhyun poked his head into the room and cocked his chin towards the hall. “Come on.”

 

Cirrus’s walk had a slight bounce to it, and when she slipped into the hallway she looked towards the deck with expectant eyes. The excitement in her eyes quickly became clouded by embarrassment when her stomach started to growl. Cirrus quickly brought her hands over her stomach, and her cheeks tinted red.

 

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

 

“No, I suppose my stomach just decided to make that sound because it suddenly wanted to,” she snorted.

 

Well, then, Baekhyun thought. He raised his brows at her and shot her a look of utter surprise. “Aren’t you being a little audacious today? I don’t take audacity well, princess.”

 

“I couldn’t tell,” she rolled her eyes to herself.

 

Baekhyun snorted and folded his arms across his chest. “If you’re hungry you should just say so. We’ll make a stop to the kitchen.”

 

Cirrus nodded her head in agreement and followed Baekhyun down the hall. The captain walked through a door-less frame and into a small room with a kitchen and table. Baekhyun waltzed to the cabinets and began digging through them to find some food to eat.

 

Cirrus made her way to the other side of the room where the table was located. She had never been in this part of the ship before, and as such her eyes darted all over the place. There wasn’t much to see or admire – the room was rather simple – but Cirrus was fascinated by the various trinkets that adorned the counters and the drawings that decorated the walls. She was so captivated by the sight that she didn’t notice Niteo squatting down right in front of her, and ended up nearly tripping over him.

 

She let out a gasp of surprise and regained her balance. She glanced down and found Niteo staring back at her.

 

“Hey, princess,” he smiled at her.

 

“N-Niteo,” she breathed. “What are you doing squatting down on the ground like that?”

 

He pointed his finger at a little bonsai tree in front of him. “I was looking at this.”

 

“A bonsai tree?” she asked.

 

He nodded his head and asked her, “Have you ever wanted to be a tree?”

 

“Not really,” she replied through an amused chuckle. “I like being human.”

 

“I think being a tree would be cool,” he hummed quietly.

 

“I found it!” Baekhyun exclaimed. Cirrus shot her head towards the captain’s direction, and found Baekhyun proudly setting an armful of items on the table. He didn’t bring out a large variety of items so much as a large quantity of a select few items. Cheese and red wine, specifically. It seemed like the pirates only ever ate cheese.

 

Niteo sprang up and poured himself a glass of wine. He picked up a few cubes of cheese and popped them into his mouth. When he noticed Cirrus hadn’t eaten any, he asked, “Aren’t you going to eat?”

 

“I will,” she replied. “Just, cheese and wine seems a bit of a weird snack.”

 

“I’m ashamed, princess,” Niteo commented while shaking his head. “You need to appreciate the delicateness of the cheese and the elegance of the red wine.”

 

Cirrus laughed and picked up a glass of wine for herself. “You harbour very strong feelings towards cheese and wine,” she told Niteo.

 

“Red wine, only,” Niteo said matter-of-factly.

 

Baekhyun stood at the corner of the room, admiring the peacefulness of the scene. Peacefulness wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, he realized.

 

• .::. .::.

 

If only the peacefulness lasted. As soon as he and Cirrus stepped out onto the deck, Ardent ran up to the captain with a panicked expression.

 

“They’re approaching us, Baek,” Ardent exclaimed.

 

“Who?” Baekhyun demanded.

 

“The Ignis Pirates,” Ardent gulped.

 

Time seemed to stop when Ardent finished speaking, and Baekhyun felt like even his blood froze. The surprise was evident on his face. How could Chanyeol have possibly found him so quickly? Then, his blood started to boil and his hands curled into fists.

 

“Captain!” someone shouted from the crow’s nest. Baekhyun glanced upward and met eyes with the crewmember who was situated at the top of the tallest pillar of the ship. “The Ignis Pirates are heading straight for us!”

 

He could hear them chanting and cheering in the distance, and Baekhyun looked around him until his eyes landed on a familiar, large ship approaching his own at an incredible speed. They didn’t have time to escape, he concluded. They would have to fight.

 

Baekhyun ushered Cirrus towards her room. “Go!” he yelled.

 

The Ignis Pirates’ ship dropped their anchor into the ocean and the loud splash caused Baekhyun to turn his head around. How had Chanyeol’s ship reached his own so quickly?

 

The pirates jumped onto Baekhyun’s deck one by one, and the captain brought a hand over Cirrus’s figure protectively. With his free arm, he pulled his rapier out and pointed it in the direction of red-haired captain who was standing on the edge of his ship.

 

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun spat bitterly.

 

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol smirked.

 

“You won’t take the princess, nor the map,” Baekhyun declared.

 

A low rumbling sound was heard coming from Chanyeol’s direction, and it quickly escalated into a hysterical laugh. “Oh, Baekhyun, you never fail to amuse me. Here, I’ll let you in on a little secret of mine.”

 

“What?” Baekhyun demanded. “Tell me!”

 

Chanyeol’s lips curled into a smile and he hopped off the edge and onto the deck. He slowly made his way towards Baekhyun and Cirrus, and bent forward slightly. Wearing the same sinister grin, Chanyeol’s lips parted for him to speak.

 

“Chogiwa.”

 

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Baekhyun woke with a jolt. His heart was pounding in his chest, but he immediately calmed down when he realized he was in his room. He had fallen asleep at his desk.

 

“Chogi-what was that dream?” Baekhyun asked himself in a daze.