April 7, 2015

I feel lost. I don’t honestly know why i feel like i don’t belong here. It’s a feeling of knowing that there is somewhere I’d fit better than where I am now. It’s like grasping for something that I just can’t put my hands on, like catching smoke or watching water drip through my fingers and yet try to hold it in my palm. There is this voice, and urge, a calling, something that tells me of somewhere I don’t know yet craves nonetheless. A place where I know I’d feel happier, feel more alive, feel more like myself.

There are nights when I’d just stare at the moon and reach out, as if it will give me the power to travel to wherever this place that my soul wants to reach. There are times when I close my eyes and feel myself drift through space and imagine this place where I realize the true meaning of belonging. The nights give me hope of reaching this place but the mornings are cruel, every day that arrives making me realize that I am here in this world still, where my life is like clockwork, revolving in the same center, ticking in the same way until the day it runs out of battery, boring, predictable, monochrome, lifeless.

I feel trapped. And maybe I am. Maybe there had been some mistake. Maybe I belong to somewhere else and the universe had somehow faltered or had a glitch somewhere, sending me here.

Maybe... Someone, somewhere, is looking at the same moon and reaching out just as I do, hoping that that someday the light of the moon would illuminate the paths we ought to take and live the lives we should.