Okay it's midnight and I was lying in bed reading a fanfic called "never enough". It is amazing, go read it. I know myself to be a sap and a little over emotional but in the last chapter she posted, it just got me imagining about gri and how they really are. I know that JiYong loves Seungri and I know that Seungri loves JiYong and I just wish they could be more open about it. 

And I started scrolling through tumblr and looking at fan art and such. It just made me emotional and I don't even know why. Maybe it is the fact that I dedicate so much of my life to these two men that I don't even know. Maybe it's the fact that I'd rather sit down and write a bit of nyongtory fanfiction than watch my favourite movie. Maybe it's the fact that I go to places and purely get inspired by the people around me and no matter what the circumstance I always think "aw Seungri and JiYong would be so cute in this situation". 

It just makes me realise just how much time I spend thinking about them, in class, at home, when I have a detention I literally say, oh well it won't be that bad, I can just sit there and plan a new chapter in my head. I PLAN when I can think of chapters "oh double English, I'll spend the first forty five minutes staring at a wall in my own little world just imagining nyongtory". And I know it's a little sad, and possibly worrying (lmao) but those two men mean so very much to me and their relationship is something so special and important to me. 

I have been on this website for over two years now and in that time I have spent so long writing and rewriting those stories and each and every one means so much to me (even the awfully written ones that I wrote at the beginning). 

And I know JiYong nor Seungri will ever see this but I just wish they knew how much they mean to me, and how much they impact my life on a daily basis. And I also want to thank them because without them, I would not have improved as a writer over the past two years. 

If you read to here, thank you. I just needed to get my late night thoughts out and I just realised I have issues because I ing cried over a fanart. ANYWAY. I love you guys so much. We all have so much in common, my nyongtory lovers, let's stay strong even when they don't give us much to go by. Nyongtory is very much real, in my heart anyway. 

Goodnight x