A little Advice?

Hey guys, 

So I just have something that has been troubling me for a few weeks now and I needed to get it out somewhere and seeing as none of you guys know me personally, I thought I would tell you and ask you what I should do because it is really affecting me and surprise surprise...its about a boy (lame I know)

So this person, let's call him X is in the year above me at school. I know him from out of school though and he only transferred to my school last year, but I have known him for about three years now. So X is a good friend of mine and we were really good friends even before he came to my school and started in the year above. 

So last year, I started walking to school with X because our routes are really similar and we would just happen to see each other and we would talk about stuff all the time, girls he liked, boys I liked...just stuff like that.

In summer, the outside of school group that I originally knew him from went on a "tour" to Italy. It was at the beginning of this tour that I realised that I actually liked him a little...and it takes a lot for me to start crushing on a boy, take my word for it. 

I acted normal around him and didn't tell anyone about it and then on like the fourth day or something, we were chilling in my room. There was about five of us and it was probably like four in the morning, we had been drinking and playing card games but we were all sobering up and were quite tired. X was sitting in my bed and he just casually goes "Yo come spoon" and I was like "no ew go away" jokingly and then he gave me this really cute face and was like "Aw please come spoon" and I was like "fine" and yeah so we were spooning lololol and he was like cuddly and stuff (it feels really weird telling you all the deets so I'll keep it minimum) anyway we were talking and stuff and it was really close and intimate and nice ughhhh.

anyway so I was just playing with his hair and stuff and then we were talking and then....yeah we got off lol. So that was nice lmao and then everyone else went to the balcony to watch the sunrise bc it was like five in the morning and we cuddled and stuff and I was just leaning on him and it was so nice and he's so warm ughhhhh ew I'll stop.

Anyway so they had to go back to their room because there are rules lol and the next day wasn't awkward at all, it was like it was before. So in the end we went home and then didn't talk for the rest of summer ( great I know, we had like one snapchat convo and then it fizzled out). and then we had a leavers concert thingy and I was so over him at that point but then I saw him again and holy guys I actually fricking like him. 

there was a party after the concert and we were talking a lot and stuff and I guess being flirty and all I could think was " I really want to kiss you again" and if I had been there for another half an hour it would have happened but oh  well, i had to go home. 

Anyway so school started and we have walked together like four times in three weeks and I feel like we are drifting away and I'm not even just worried about loosing our non existant relationship, but losing him as a friend bc i really don't want that to happen and because he is in the year above I have no lessons to him and he has a different lunch hour and loads of half days and I just feel as though he doesn't want to walk to school with me anymore which is really sad because we had such good talks. 

So I got my friend to investigate how he felt about me and she snapped him and asked him about girls and was like "lol I still ship you and (my name)" and he was like "haha yeah she's cute" and he bascially told her that he doesn't think he has time for a relationship with anyone because of work and stuff but QUOTE

"Yeah I would definately get off with her again at a party" 

So I don't know how to feel about that because i dont really just want to be "That girl he would get off with at a party" idk if thats stupid but yeah I feel like I should have more self respect than t ojust be tha to someone idk. ( i know i have made him sound like a little bit of a but i promise he isn't, he's really sweet)

I just don't want to lose him as a friend and I lowkey want to be with him.

any advice??? I know this was long sorry but I just really needed to get it out of my system, Please comment if you have any advice, I will love you forever and sorry for being such a pathetic (it's a crush I know and I should get over it) because I don't want to get all excited about walking to school with him and then not bumping into him and then feeling so disappointed for the rest of the day, I just don't enjoy it and I don't want to feel like this anymore. 

if you read it all, thank you so much, I love you xxx

 

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Rosdiana #1
Hurmmm....actually l really not like relationship... So i don't know this comment should be count as advice or not for you.you guys have been friends for3 years.so,its better if you try talk directly with him about this right? If you decide to still keep your feeling and stay be his friend i'm afraid it might be worse in future. I don't know if this help you or not because i'm don't have experiance in relationship.just follow your heart ok..✌💖i'm sorry if this comment make you confuse..by the way,i wish you good luck for everything💖:)
Fire_shockk #2
I honestly can’t relate to you at all on this, since I’m uncomfortable with physical contact and only realized it after my crush asked me out (Meaning I’m with relationships, I have no idea how you feel). But maybe that means I can understand his point of view? I don’t get the “getting off at a party” bit since, well, the whole no touchy thing, but I DO understand the not being ready for a relationship bit. Now, it’s hard to tell since he’s comfortable to go that far with you, but some people face insecurities in different ways. Relationships are scary. They require a lot of time, effort and commitment, and some people just don’t know how to handle that, or are scared of having to handle that. That basically means that you can’t really force somebody into a relationship with you if they’re not ready. But in your case, it’s worrying since he described you that way. I’ll take your word that he’s actually nice, but even then, you deserve somebody in your life who will devote themselves to you willingly and wholeheartedly. In my opinion, there’s no need to be in a relationship in order to be happy. But that’s just me. If you like him that much, I recommend just waiting it out and trying to keep the friendship going. If you’re brave enough, maybe talk to him about it? If he’s insecure about relationships like I am, it’ll convince him to think about it seriously and hopefully he figures his own out (tho hopefully he’s not like me bc when I talked with my crush and I realized how ed up I am, it sent me into a spiral of depression, insecurities and guilt. So if it takes a while be patient with him too.). ALSO, if you can’t talk about serious things with him then honestly, being in a relationship will be pretty hard. You two will need to be able to rely on each other for emotional support and communication is always key. So lack of communication = not a healthy relationship. Talk to each other! Which isn’t as easy as it sounds, ik. Honestly, everything will work itself out in the end. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. If not, then that’s probably what’s best in the long run. I think you’ll figure it out :) I don’t think this helped bc I have literally zero relationship experience, but I gotta procrastinate my essay somehow I can’t leave a homegirl to struggle. Good luck with everything!
galaxyzitao #3
Well. It's really sad that you guys are drifting apart, because you look like you have a very nice friendship! He doesn't have to like you back, but it don't thinj it was nice to say that he would just got off with you at a party haha but he really seems like a nice guy, tho.

You can talk to him. Or maybe try to get close like before. If you sense that he's acting different than you can ask if its because of what happened btw you two.

If you know that he's not going to reciprocate your feelings and won't want nothing serious, than maybe you should get over it. It's rhe best for you. Just say that you don't want to lose the friendship, but maybe a time apart will help you.
❤
sammiko711 #4
If you've been friends with him for three years then there had to be some type of relationship already established where you can talk to him. Put aside the crush for a moment (which I understand is very hard: I can relate from back in the day ) and straight up ask him what is your problem, why are you ditching me on the walks to school etc. Tell him that the tour trip was nice and he made you feel good and special and you liked that but understanding that now might not be the time to explore things further you just want to clear the air. This allows you to let him know there is some interest without wearing your heart on a sleeve and getting hurt. Remember girls mature faster than boys and even though he is in a grade up from you he still may not be at your level. Also sometimes boys and men still think with the wrong head so you have to deal with that issue too. And they say women are ruled by hormones, Ha, a boy trumps that any day. I wish you all the best and remember please to follow your heart and never let anyone push you to do something you are uncomfortable with. Good luck.
raphablott4 #5
I think if you like him you should tell him.. i mean, if you're not able to live in peace with the feeling stuck inside you know? Sometimes we start feeling something so strong that our heart pratically asks to be said haha so i think you should see what your heart truly wants.. if you think you can't get over him or if you dont really want to get over, why dont you try being not only the girl he would get off from the party?
xxxilildevil #6
Hrmmm.. Idk if it would be count as an advice or not.
I don't like be in a relationship too (i feel sorry to my boyfriend. Haha)
That summer tour make things awkward, and no talk for the rest of summer? Should I say, just say bye to your friend? *kidding*

I think its better if you talk to him directly and discover it by your self what he told to your friend was true or just to cover his own feelings. So you won't put your hope everytime you'll go to school. He is your friend from the begining right? You can ask or decide it will be a relationship or just a friend (with benefit?) :")

Last option is... just say good bye, and move your life on. Boy is not only him. ^^
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