part one ; part two ; part four ; part five

Unlike my other 'oh cliché' blogs, this isn't going to focus around plots but around characterization and development of plot with a bonus of stupid beginnings to stories that need to be stopped. I'll include a bit of plot ideas in but not a whole bunch. You know, I'm not one of those people who will read a featured story just because it's featured. I look at how it's written and not just how many views or subscribers the fic gained. The other blogs I have managed to keep my temper down and minimize the amount of 'foul' language used so if you're going to be offended, you don't have to read this.

The correct title of this should've been 'oh cliche and wrong! 3'.

{PS. I suggest reading the text I crossed out for laughs}

1. Improper Introductions

The forward is the text you see prior to clicking on a story. You're able to see a sentence or two before actually delving into what could or could not be a good story that is properly written. Never start off your forward with "Hello, my name is (username here) and this is my (number) fanfic that I've written on AFF!" I find that unprofessional, even for a writer that is online and not actually published, because it just looks beyond sloppy. If you really want to put a personal message like that somewhere, put it at the bottom of your forward as an author's note. Author's notes are placed at the bottom and not in the middle of your text.

2. Colors and Size of Font

Dude, one of these days an author on this website is going to make me go blind. I swear that is not ing cool. By no means do you have to make your text colored or different sizes. Don't make your font too big or, if you have colors added, too bright. Dark colors are easier to see and read properly. If you make your text too small, that's hard to read. If you make it too big I feel like that it's overbearing. Leave your text size default unless you are starting off with a title or want something emphasized within reasoning! Make sure that it is within reasoning. 

Do not do this:

"No don't go!" she shouted to L. Joe as he walked away from her with a cold shoulder.

Well, calm your there man. There is no reason for changing font size unless it is too small to read. All fonts that are available for use on this website when you update all come out fairly sized and easy to read. Do not with the default sizes and make them bigger or smaller. When font is too big I feel like unzooming my page just so I can read it without having to scroll down to see the next line after reading one paragraph.

To explain why I'm using colors, it's just easier to tell what I'm using as examples.

3. Alignment of Text

Why is it that authors feel the need to switch up the alignment of their text? In your description, I find that making your text centered is alright. It doesn't make things hard to read at all. But if you choose to make one line left aligned, the next centered, and the next right aligned to switch back to left alignment I will shoot you. Left alignment is the default and should stay like that. Justified text is the only other alignment that I like to use in regular text, which would be what I'm typing now and not the title of each section (like, 2. Colors). Any other type of alignment is unnecessary and makes things look sloppy and hard to read. I even found a story that changed alignment and colors. I wanted to shoot myself.

I mean,

why must

you type like this?

4. Emoticons

I admit, I use emoticons when I reply to messages on Facebook and on my wall posts but don't use them when you type. If you want to describe how someone was looking at another person writing an 'X' and a 'D' is wrong ("XD"). First, a person can't ing look like that no matter how squinty eyed they are and I'd know because I'm Asian and I have fairly small eyes. 

5. Typical lines to start off a story and cliche things to say

This is a growing list but I hate it when I see it. Sometimes I'll continue to read a story that starts off with cliche lines but most of the time I won't. There is something cliche for everything. There're cliche things to say as well as write and I think it's high time to point them out.

• "Is that all you got?" or "Is that the best you can do?" Why is it that every hero (female or male, I don't like to use words to classify the two apart) eventually says those words during a fight. Just buck it out with whoever and move on. No need for cliche heroic lines that everyone's seen before.
• "(S)He's standing right behind me, isn't (s)he?" That's peachy and all but come up with something else to say from now on, okay? Not everyone walks in at the right moment to hear other people talking about them so that they can stand behind the group and stand with their hips cocked and hands on them firmly as they glare until the idiot talking about them in the first place shuts the hell up.
• "A little too quiet." Well, how about I make it louder?
• "Now ... where were we?" I dunno, I thought you were paying attention. This can either go with someone trying to get it in or just two people talking and being rudely interrupted. I love reading about ers as much as the next person who likes a little bit of comedy mixed in with their , but there's no need to add something like that.
• "What part of ___ don't you understand?" Admittedly, I have used this before as of recent. It is a trite thing to say but it is common among dialogues between people and can be hard to avoid in certain settings or scenes that you set up throughout your plot.
• "I'm not leaving!" or "You're not leaving without me!" It sounds like something from Twilight to me. You know, when Bella is being left alone by Edward in the forest and she wants to go with him but he can't take her. Do you remember now? Reread New Moon if you don't.
• This is a story about a girl (boy)... That's nice, now just cut to the chase and stop beating around the bush. That, to me, is a lame way to start off your story. It bores me as a matter of fact. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just a bad way to start off your description. I advise you all to write your description in third person -- which means using all pronouns (he, she, it)! 
• Hi my name is... Don't start off with this either. Any story that starts off with first person is bound to be written ... not necessarily bad but it is most likely not written properly. If you want to start off your story with first person don't start off using that type of line.
• Omo... Holy man, you killed half my brain cells just then. I understand that authors like to use "Korean expressions" but there is no need to go overboard with it. 'Omo' to me is such a stupid word that we've adapted into our stories. Use proper English. Use "Oh my," or "Oh my goodness," instead because it just looks better. I'm not a big 'omona' fan but I'll read stories that use it if it isn't a reoccurring thing in every chapter.
• This is when a ___ girl and a ___ boy... Yeah, cliche is written all over this. What has this boy and girl done that the others haven't so far. There're too many stories when a line like this has been used already with plots similar to the next. The only difference is that one may be more popular than the other.
• You are the school's ___ or You are a (age) girl who ___ or even You're the new kid at ___ High and (idol) is the Kingka/Queenka, your rival or something along those lines. There isn't anything wrong grammatically but it's something you see too often and it can turn people off of reading your stories if they know it's going to be the same as the last story they just finished reading.
• I'm a ___ for (idol or goup's name). Good for you. Cool story bro, don't tell it again. That's an overused thing too nowadays. You see a lot of "I'm a maid for (idol or group name here)" and then this whole twenty or more chaptered story of how it all happened. It's just an odd type of story and I don't think they're logical in any means. 

6. Diseases

There're a lot of diseases and sicknesses in the world. Amnesia is one that people tend to like throwing into their stories. Stop right now. Writers at times give their characters cancer. That's all hunky dory but mull it over a bit. What kind of cancer are you giving this poor character who stood no chance? Come up with something. You can Google what kind of diseases there are or sicknesses caused by certain things. I'm sure that you'll be able to find one or two that strikes your fancy.

Another thing, they don't have to die. People can beat cancer, tumors, and other things that make them sick depending on what they are diagnosed with.

7. STUPID TAGS WITH NO RELEVANCE

I can't tell you how many times I've seen the tag angst paired up with comedy. Tell me how that works. Tell me right now. Because it doesn't work. It can't. What angst themed story have you seen that has been able to put enough comedy into the plot that you can actually use the tag 'comedy' with 'angst'?

Don't tag people who aren't the main focus of the story. If I'm writing a story about Beast, which I am actually, and my main characters are an OC, Junnie, and Doojoon I will then tag those people. I won't tag "janghyunseung" just because he's a part of Beast as well because he doesn't have a main role.

8. Titles and How Stupid They can be

If you want to title a story after someone's (a band's) comeback, do it quick or else eighty hundred other people will do the same and yours won't be original anymore. If I got a penny for every time I saw an RP titled "The Boys" I'd be rich. I would be richer than JB and his girly voice that Usher ed up and signed. Avoid using song titles as your story title because I've tried and it became very cliche and overused quick.

Don't use titles that summarize the whole story. Naming a story, "Falling in love with a nerd" is wrong, wrong, wrong, and even more wrong. You're giving away what happened before the damn thing even starts! Take JK Rowling for example. Her titles are perfection. A title should give a sense of foreboding so that you leave the reader wanting to know why it is titled what it's titled.

• The Sorcerer's Stone. Who is the sorcerer and why does he have his own stone? Why is it considered his stone? Was it his in the beginning?
• The Chamber of Secrets. Why is the chamber a secret? Where is the chamber located?
• The Prisoner of Azkaban. Who is imprisoned and why? What is this place Azkaban (for those who haven't read the series before)? Is Azkaban a place or person, because, yes, indeed it can be a person or place. (You can see it as: Jane was the prisoner of John. Just because there is no sign of possession does not mean that it cannot be a person in this context.)
• The Goblet of Fire. What is so special about this cup (the goblet) that there's a whole book named after it? Why is it on fire? Is it even on fire?
• The Order of the Phoenix. What makes this order significant? Who makes up the order?
• The Half-Blood Prince. Since when were there princes in Harry Potter? What does it mean to be a half-blood?
• The Deathly Hallows. Why are the hallows deadly? What makes them dangerous.

Never use vague titles though like Stephanie Meyer (Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn). It gives away too little and isn't appealing to the eye with taste.

9. Turning a new leaf and flat-out denial

I love dynamic characters that are able to change their ways and become better people but , hell no, you cannot change someone within a short story. Just because it is your story does not mean that you can defy the laws of psychology and make people suddenly go from these pessimistic, negative characters to a positive person.

In stories the manlier counterpart (like Yunho, Minho, Junhyung, Joon, and others) are seen in denial of the fact that they are gay. Being gay in any Asian country is frowned upon because it is against their beliefs and will always be that way because those beliefs are passed down from generation to generation. However, that does not mean that the people who are gay in Asian countries believe so as well. I still feel that writing about, let's say Minho, being in denial that he is in love with Taemin is right. You're already writing in an alternate universe so you can skip the whole drama where Minho refuses to see Taemin anymore through whoever they're mutual friends with because he's afraid of catching gay fever.

Never even bother to write that Minho loves Taemin so ing much and then all of a sudden at school he ignores the poor kid. Yes, it creates for a cliche plot after a while. Why can't Taemin be the popular one and shrug the soccer jock off, huh? But don't be cliche and do that. I'll have you find you and rip your story to shreds ... jk, sorta.

10. Dongsaeng, Oppa, Hyung, Unnie, and Noona

In Korean countries honorifics are very important. However, you only call those you are really close to those titles above next to the number ten after you get to know them first! I see stories where characters are calling each other by those titles right off the bat. "Dongsaeng" is alright because it is okay for seniors to use those types of terms earlier to their juniors, not the other way around though. Keep in mind the culture differences. Omona you people.

For those who are the same age, the term to use within reasoning is chingu. Hyungnim is formal for older brother to loosely translate from Korean to English. You can see variations of spelling because of how things are romanized but don't worry about that. Just don't overuse these terms or else I'll strangle you I won't read your story.

11. A hired fake (girl)boyfriend

Why on Earth is this still possible? Take for example, Hyuna and Hyunseung compared to Gain and Jo Kwon. What those two (the Adam couple) have is pure chemistry. What Hyuna and Hyunseung have together is purely for stage and people's amusement. You can clearly see that there is something difference between the two and how they interact. It shouldn't be hard to tell when a couple is fake and when they're real. 

It is especially fake when suddenly you just run into someone and say, "Hey, wanna be my girl?" No. No. No. I hate those stories when characters have fake lovers and then they fall in love. How sweet. No, how stupid. We can all see it coming. Even a blind person can. Well, maybe that's taking this a bit too far ...

12. The antagonist must be a

I have so many questions and comments for this. I hate as much as the next person for taking all the good looking guys but what makes them so bad? Just because they dress ty doesn't mean that they're automatically bad unless they're a cheerleader for your school. To me, the main character should be every story's antagonist for being so perky and upbeat all the ing time. I would have to slap someone across the face if they were always following me around with a smile on their face. I mean, wouldn't your face freeze like that if you were smiling all the time?

Make the antagonist every once and a while a fellow nerd (if your main character is a nerd) or something like that. Don't make two go at it though because that's just a pig fest then.

13. Parents Preventing Love

You're writing a fan fic not a soap opera. Let your characters be happy and don't be a . Parents aren't these evil beings all the time. Other parent related things are: abusive parents, abusive step or adoptive-parents, parents who don't care (not abuse but are never there), parents who are never actually in the story, extremely lenient parents, extremely rich parents are all illogical or overdone. Be careful when creating the structure of "adult" figures in a story. You don't want them to turn out as stupid as Timmy Turner's parents or as crazy as Harry Potter's uncle and aunt (who acted like they were Harry's parents because they raised him).