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Life as an author is full of distractions. By that I mean UNNECESSARY ones.

Some are responsibilties you cannoy avoid while the others are just plain and simple mosquito-buzz. It's all around your head,it pokes and tickles you until you leave that laptop and sit down lethargically for real wondering what has gone wrong.

Such a thing has been plaguing me since last month.

There are possibly more than a hundred stories in draft status,all xiuhan of course, cause those two give me such feels. On top of that I read such beautiful fics updated for xiuhan tag every now and then and I can't help but wonder,how on earth are they so diligent?
This site is important for me. It's kind of like this special place where I let my freak show in front of everybody,no regrets regarding that. But then I look into my draft folder and my head reels. When am I gonna finish it? How is this gonna stop? What's gonna happen next?

It's all there but I can't let my self type out words. It's not exactly lethargy or laziness. No,not at all. It's worse than that. It's kind of a block and I'm struggling to overcome it every single day.

Then on top of that,you have parents and peers who expect you to be something and complete certain responsibilities,no matter how much you disagree and scream at them.The, like a leech are gonna latch on to your back and ask the same set of stupid questions again.

Like do you need me to tattoo it on to your forehead?

It is so damn irritating. I have always found my true calling in writing and in the creative fields,yet i shudder at the idea of pursuing something else,which I have to do anyway. There is simply no escape.Sometimes,I ask my parents, reagarding my plans for the future, they are pretty lax about it,"You can pursue it later after you are done with this".

I have only one life,so why am i wasting it so senselessly?

Why later? Why not now?

And why am I not bold enough to do what I want to do?

I have a feeling that I might be living with regret in the future for a lot of things. But I just don't know how to prevent it from happening.

Let's see what the future hold up for me.

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cherryeol04 #1
Ah hun, I feel you on that. Especially struggling to get the words on the screen. That's my biggest problem as well. I can see the fic play out in my head. I'm eager to write it. But as I start, I just can't figure out the best way to describe what I want to say. What is the best way to convey everything? And then I end up just not writing it. And unnecessary distractions are my biggest downfall as well. My issue is that I think "I always have tomorrow" and really I don't. Because even though I try, I can't really plan for the future. I can't honestly say right now that tomorrow I will write none stop. Because who knows what tomorrow brings.

It's a y situation to be in, but I understand where you're coming from. You're not alone.

And I too love writing. I love all the creativity that comes to mind when I can get into the zone. I think if you really want to have some sort of career as an author. Not just writing fanfics but even becoming published, you should do it now. Find time to just write. Even if it's five minutes while you're on the toilet, write. Because if it's something your passionate about and want to do for a living, do it. You're right, you only have one life to live. We shouldn't live it regretting things we never got to do in the past.
tinylubbug #2
It took me a year to finish a three chapter xiuhan fic, so no worries
CHEOLS #3
It's been quite a while since I last updated my fics. So many ideas but once I logged into aff/lj/ao3, I end up looking for something to read instead. Lol. I used to be a bookworm. But fics have ruined me hahaha! Now I'm just voraciously reading fics on the Internet.

Anyway, most of my friends around me thought that I'd be majoring in Journalism, or something Media-related.
But nah, I'm currently pursuing a Business degree. Being a fickle-minded teen back then, I ended up letting my parents decide on my education path.

I hope you've talked to your parents about the career opportunities available for you with regards to language and creative writing. If not, maybe you can talk to them about it? Just a little bit of research will do. So that your parents won't worry about the path you're planning to take.

It's not too late! At least you know what you want to do now.. Try to convince your parents that the path you've decided for yourself is one which you'll be happy with.

Even if you're unable to persuade them, don't be sad. You can join a club and interact with people of the same interests. Remember to network! Might come in handy one day lol.

As for myself, I get through with a bit of freelance article writing on the side. There's no way I'm gonna just fill my head up with economics and market theories!

Of course, everyone keeps saying that being unable to pursue your passion now doesn't mean that you can't do it later. However, there's no harm in wanting to start off with a job you're passionate about, right? Like I said, maybe research and insights from people working in the industry you're interested in, will boost your confidence.

Good luck!
Baobeiminnie #4
i understand this completely. writing is a way for me to escape real life and indulge in my favorite things which so happen to be two Asian boys getting married. but recently real life has been taking me away from this and I've found no time to write and when i do, it's almost impossible for me to start. i'm truly sorry about the issue with your parents, something i haven't experienced but can only imagine how horrible it must be.
i hope you're able to overcome the blocks in your life and are able to write again. i really enjoy your stories and i'd hate for one of my favorite authors to quit writing.
fighting!! ♡
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