Sick and Tired

I couldn't hold it in. I had to write somewhere. I had to let this off my chest.

I am a failure. I am worthless. I am nothing. Even my own family doesn't believe in me. They doubt my ability to do even the simplest of tasks. You should be supportive. You should make me feel better instead of making me fall deeper into this hole I made in my heart. I am human. I make mistakes. So I'm the youngest. So I'm not that great. Who are you to judge when you don't understand me. My siblings are successful. You compare me to them.


Everyone is not born the same, even twins have their differences. Can't you see that? Can't you understand that? You have no idea how many times I wish to die. You have no idea how many times I wish to harm myself. Music is my only escape and you want to take that away from me? I should be grateful for what you've done? What have you done? You've taken everything I love from me. You thought that I wouldn't need them. I do. I desperately need them like I need air. They're my source of joy in my life. Not everyone is born with talent. Not everyone is born smart. Not everyone is born perfect. 

A child needs help to walk. You can't expect them to walk on their own. Parents hold their hand, supporting them. When the child falls, you don't give up. In the end, the child will learn to walk. I'm trying and you insult me. I fall and you insult me. You want me to succeed but you don't help me. I'm not like my siblings who can do things perfectly without help. 


I'm not even sure if I'm making any sense. You try to guilt me with your words, but they make the anger in me grow. Call me an ungrateful child but when I'm of age, I'll leave. You won't see me again. It would be best since everytime you see me, you see a mistake.


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Dont give up , dont hurt or harm yourself in anyway. The more you feel like dying the more you should fight and live. Prove it to them that you can be successful too in your own ways. Its not easy to be all motivated and positive when everyone is only looking at your mistakes , but nothing is impossible. You have got to first believe in yourself even when no one else believe. Love yourself even more . Recognized your own talent and value them. Sometimes you dont have to fit in all you need to do is stand out among the rest . As long as you dont give up , there's chances for your to turn things around for the better . When they said you cant , you them that you can. Dont let others bring you down.
Do you have a great relationship with your siblings?