Hi everyone. I just got back from school. I just wanted to post this update. 

I first want to thank everyone who has reached out to me and offered their support. Forgive me if I take a while to open up. I don't want to burden any of you with my problems. 

So in terms of workload, school has actually been surprisingly manageable. My english essay went well (the whole class probably failed lol but it's all over now) and my classes do not have a lot of work (yet. I am in a musical now but rehearsels have not started yet). 

I, however, have not changed much since I last blogged. I am now more lonely than ever because my crush transferred out of French, the only class we shared together. I messaged her to ask if she was okay (she has anxiety), but she just told me she was and that she'd prefer if she were left alone. On one hand, my heart pains for her; but on the other hand, I think she really is ok (at least, better than me) because I am still alone and anxious and depressed and I don't have friends that walk up to me and say hi or check up on me. Nobody talks to me unless I initiate the conversation, and that hurts me because it tells me that nobody in my school cares about me or wants to hang out with me or talk to me. 

She, on the other hand, has at LEAST two friends (and probably more) in school that she talks to, that's why I say I think she's alright while I'm not. I don't want to message her again because I'm almost positive she doesn't care about me. Not enough to at the least say hi or ask if I'M alright. So far, I have been the one messaging HER asking if SHE's alright, but she hasn't asked me, and I don't think she ever will. (FYI: although she is my crush, I have no intention of dating her, just being friends.) 

But I promise, I have not forgotten about the people on AFF who have offered their comforting words for me. I will try to reach out to you guys for support, because as much as I try to deny it, I have to admit it: I'm lonely, and I desperately need company. 

Thank you to everyone reading this and offering their support. I truly love you all <3